Chasing The Light
by FarDareisMai2
Summary: It's five months since he recovered his memories, but Eric has kept Sookie at arm's length. Will being with her put her in danger? Spoilers through book 8.
1. Chapter 1

_A/N: This story takes place post Book 8, so there are spoilers. This story plans on going to a few dark places, so be forewarned. It is rated M for a reason. If that offends your sensibilities, stop reading now. I'd like to thank my dear KCP for stepping in as a beta when Malanna took ill. Thank you so much! Thanks to all the ladies (and gentlemen) over at the LTAE thread. You guys rock! What would I do without the Viking Bubble of Bliss? _

_As usual, I do not own any of the SVM characters. They belong to Charlaine Harris. I just like to play in her sandbox from time to time._

Prologue

The irony of being there, in that place, was not lost on me. It was not intentional. Well, I meant to come there, but not for that reason. Freud would say I subconsciously chose it. I say fuck Freud. Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar. I stood looking at the plaque and shook my head. Even here, at the furthest reaches of just about anywhere, I couldn't escape him. I laughed. It was a dry, humorless laugh. The real ones had not yet returned to me. I didn't know if they ever would. I did know, however, that this seemed to be yet another sign, another acknowledgment that I was inexorably tied to him. It made my decision that much more certain in my mind. It was meant to be after all. It was inevitable. It had to be done. Now I just needed to convince him.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 1

After what happened the last time I was here, I did not plan on returning to New Orleans for a very long time, if ever. Then again, I had not planned on Amelia Broadway becoming my room mate and best friend.

She needed to see to the repairs on her apartment building and, she really, really did not want to see her father without backup. In short, I was guilted into it.

I can't say I resented it too much. The truth was I needed a change of scenery. I had been working non-stop since Arlene quit. Sam had just found a permanent replacement, but in the interim I was happy to fill in. I needed the money and, frankly, I needed to keep busy. I had seen neither hide nor hair of a vampire in the four, nearly five, months since Pam and Eric came to offer me the king's protection, although I could feel plenty of vampire anger and frustration through the bond. It left me feeling raw and hurt.

To make matters worse, I found myself avoiding certain other social situations because I knew my brother would be there, and I was still having nothing to do with him. In fact, I was not sure how I was going to handle the christening for Tara and JB's baby. I knew Jason would be invited, and as I was asked to be the godmother, there is no way I could avoid attending.

All in all, I was running on fumes, physically and emotionally. I needed to get away and recharge the batteries so to speak. Amelia told me that the French Quarter and Garden District were still relatively unscathed, so we would be able to enjoy the city. I really didn't have an opportunity to do any sightseeing on my last trip, and decided I was going to enjoy what the old girl had to offer, while doing my best to contribute to her rebuilding.

So there I was sitting at the Café du Monde, drinking coffee and eating a beignet, with Amelia. I was enjoying the feeling of the sunlight on my face, when we were approached by a really good looking man. I heard Amelia's thoughts easily. _Wow! Now there's a cool drink of water._ I giggled lightly, and Amelia grinned at me conspiratorially. _Should we pretend we're a couple and send him away or, do you wanna go for it?_ I rolled my eyes at her.

_I should go for it_, I thought. _What have I got to lose?_ Really? Nothing. Eric had nothing to do with me for months, and no one else was interested, well other than Bill, but no way was I going to make that mistake twice.

I looked up at him as he stopped at our table and gave him a big smile. "Hello," I said, somewhat shocked at myself for speaking first.

"Hello Ms. Stackhouse," he replied.

_Crap._ I felt my smile fade. I checked his mind, but he was definitely human.

"Who are you?" I heard Amelia ask coldly. All traces of the flirtatious gone from her voice. She was involved enough in the supernatural world to know the risks as well as I did.

"Craig Sutherfield, please call me Craig. I am Mr. de Castro's daytime assistant. I was sent to see to any needs you may have while you are in our city and, to extend an invitation to you from the king." He handed me an envelope.

_Shit_. How the hell did de Castro know I was here? Was he having me followed? Was my house bugged? I began to feel my skin crawl.

My questions must have been plainly written on my face because Craig went on, "you were spotted last night checking in to the hotel. Mr. de Castro owns many businesses in the city. Of course, your rooms will be taken care of."

I probed him and knew he was telling the truth. I felt some of the tension leave my shoulders. At least I was not being followed. We were staying at a hotel, Amelia's treat. Since she was the one who dragged me here and, it turned out her place was far from ready to be occupied, we were forced to seek out other arrangements.

Wouldn't you know it? Out of the hundreds of hotels in New Orleans, we wind up at one of the ones owned by a vampire and, not just any vampire, but Felipe de Castro, King of Louisiana, Arkansas and Nevada.

My fingers ran over the fine linen of the envelope, before I opened it. The invitation was handwritten, on the same fine paper, in a beautiful, flowing script.

_Ms. Stackhouse,_

_It would be my great pleasure if you, and your lovely companion, would honor me with your presence this evening. I am hosting a small gathering at my home and, would appreciate your unique talents. I look forward to seeing you._

_Felipe de Castro_

I passed the note to Amelia and, as she read it, Craig once again offered his services as guide or, anything else we may need.

"Thank you Craig, that is sweet, but Amelia here is a local and knows her way around the city just fine."

"Well then, if you do not require anything else of me, may I inform his highness that we can send a car for you, at say eight o'clock?"

I looked at Amelia, who nodded imperceptibly, and told Craig that he may.

After he left, I took a deep breath and exhaled. "Crap." I stated rather flatly. I looked at Amelia, "you don't have to go hon. Obviously this isn't really a social affair. He wants me for _work_ purposes, not social ones."

"Sooks, there is no way in hell I'm letting you go in there alone." She gave my shoulder a squeeze. "I guess we need to go shopping. I know I didn't bring anything to wear to something like this."

We finished our breakfast and headed out to do some shopping. Several hours later, we returned to the hotel in much higher spirits. For the first time I really understood Amelia's fondness for "retail therapy."

The plan was to go de Castro's (looking fabulous), try to get out of there as soon as was politely possible, and then head to some clubs Amelia knew where we could have fun and leave vampire politics behind.

Since when does anything ever go according to plan?

_A/N: reviews, including constructive criticism, are always, always appreciated._


	3. Chapter 3

_A/N: Alright, cat this is for you! I know it's a short chapter, but I was FORCED to post something tonight. So here ya go! Please feed the review crack addiction and, I really mean it if you have constructive criticism, please give it up. If you want, pm me. _

Chapter 2

The car pulled up to the hotel at exactly eight o'clock. The driver came around, opened the door, and Craig got out. He looked wonderful, I had to admit. He was wearing a beautiful dark grey suit that complimented his tall frame, and his white shirt was unbuttoned at the top. His green eyes seemed to darken a bit as he looked me up and down. He held out his hand to me, "Miss Stackhouse, you look absolutely stunning."

As he handed me into the car, I found myself saying, "please, call me Sookie."

"Sookie," he said as if tasting my name, and I felt a small shiver run down my spine.

Then he turned, "Ms. Broadway, you look quite lovely this evening."

Amelia laughed, "thanks big guy, and you can call me Amelia."

Craig sat on the bench facing us as we drove off, and I could feel his eyes on me the entire time. I dared to lower my shields a bit and found myself blushing slightly at his thoughts. There was nothing obscene, just a running commentary about how beautiful I was and how he would like nothing more than to hold me in his arms and kiss me. I got the strong sense of his desire, but his thoughts didn't get X rated.

As if he sensed my intrusion, Craig made himself busy at the mini bar, and poured three glasses. "Champagne?"

Amelia and I accepted. Thanks to the bubbly and, Craig's attentions, by the time we got to de Castro's I was feeling beautiful and happy. In fact, it had been a long time since I had felt such simple happiness and contentment.

We arrived at de Castro's home in the Garden District. It was a lovely antebellum mansion on St. Charles Street. Craig slid out first, then helped us out of the car. Amelia got out and headed up the steps to the door. As I straightened my dress, Craig offered me his arm, "Sookie?"

I threaded my arm through his, and allowed him to lead me into the lion's den. As we walked through the doorway he leaned down and whispered, "when this is over, would you like to go get a cup of coffee with me?"

I felt positively giddy. I was going to have a date. A real, honest to goodness date with a handsome man. A living breathing man, who found me attractive.

"Craig, I'd love . . ." but the words died on my lips as I felt a surge of lust and anger slam into me.

I looked across the room at the source. Eric. All six foot four inches of blond Viking, looking like he just stepped off an Armani runway. Had I thought Craig handsome? At that moment I could not honestly remember.


	4. Chapter 4

_A/N: I know this chapter is short, but I promise the next one is longer. I just had to give you Eric's POV! Here you go EGP and cat . . . I give you some Viking._

Chapter 3

I was talking to a city councilman when I felt her. How I did not notice her proximity earlier, I was not sure. I had been feeling her happiness and contentment since I had risen but was, apparently, too occupied to notice that she was here, in New Orleans.

A part of me was angry that de Castro kept me in the dark, but another part was secretly pleased. I would see her finally, and it would not be seen as a weakness because it was de Castro's doing. These months without her had been more difficult than I had anticipated. After recovering my memories, I wanted nothing more than to fly to her and assure her of my love, but I could not. It was too dangerous for her. I was too new in Felipe's regime to risk letting others know how I felt and, I would not let her be their pawn in any moves against me.

When she walked in to the room, I was pierced to my soul. She looked radiant. She wore a simple navy, silk dress that hugged every one of her luscious curves, showed off just the right amount of her gorgeous breasts, and flared out slightly a few inches above her knees revealing her lovely, tan legs. The back was a simple criss-cross of the spaghetti straps holding up her dress. Her hair was down and curled, caressing her shoulders.

At that moment I wanted her more than I ever had, right there in Felipe's salon, with everyone watching. My desire surged up, pressing against my pants, my fangs slipped out and, I felt the lust race out across the bond. At the exact same time, I watched the man on her arm whisper in her ear and I felt, as well as saw, the happiness she was feeling at being with him, the beautiful upturning of her face as she prepared to respond to him. Rage, cold and deep began to claw its way up from somewhere deep inside me. I tried to rein it in, but some of it escaped me and, it too, made its way across the bond.

I watched the words die on her lips and, her smile turn to an expression of surprise, fear and awe as she locked eyes on me.


	5. Chapter 5

_A/N: Alright, I know the last chapter was short, but I swear I don't plan them that way. I let the story tell itself and go for the natural chapter breaks. This next one is much longer. Thanks again to KCP for beta-ing and, to the women (and men) of LTAE. You guys rock! I also wanted to thank all of you for your reviews, support and comments! I wish I could respond to each of you, but then you'd come after me with pitchforks because I wouldn't have time to write anymore of the story! Keep feeding me my crack and I'll keep writing. I promise some lemons in the future._

Chapter 4

Before any of us could react, Felipe de Castro was in front of me.

"Ah, the lovely Miss Stackhouse," he intoned in his accent. "I am so glad you could come on such short notice." He turned to Amelia. "Miss Broadway, a pleasure to finally meet you. I have had the pleasure of meeting your father. Unfortunately, he was not able to join us this evening."

I heard Amelia whisper a prayer of thanks in her head.

I felt Eric's presence as he loomed behind de Castro. I looked up but he refused to meet my eyes. It stung me worse than I would have liked to admit and, I found myself gripping Craig's arm a bit tighter.

I returned my gaze to the king. "Thank you for your invitation, and for offering us Mr. Sutherfield's services. You are very kind." Gran would be so proud of my manners just now.

"Come Ms. Stackhouse, there are some people I would love for you to meet," drawled de Castro.

I knew he meant he wanted me to read them, so I plastered on my smile and took his arm. I looked at Craig. "Until later?"

He smiled and nodded. As I walked away with the king, I felt anger slither across the bond, and I chanced a look at Eric. His eyes were nearly black with fury and, at that moment, I was very, very happy to realize that he was most likely able to suppress some of his emotions. Otherwise, I have no doubt, I would have been knocked right on my ass by what Eric was feeling.

I spent the next few hours at the king's side as he wined and dined the various businessmen and politicos at his home. By the time we were finished, I had discovered that the councilman for one district was having an affair, a businessman de Castro considered working with was hoping the king would turn him, another councilman was going to ask the king for more money before throwing his support behind a new construction project and, the wife of another businessman was secretly supporting the FotS, even her husband did not know.

I listened to her more intently, and realized that she was not as bad as some of the other members I had met, but she was a hypocrite. I did not "hear" her advocating any violence, but she definitely was worried about me being "tangled up with" all these vampires. How sweet, except that she did not seem to mind her husband being involved with those same vampires if it meant he could keep buying her the diamond jewelry which she had become accustomed to.

All in all, by the time the evening was winding down, I was once against feeling the dirty stain of my fellow humans. They never seemed to stop letting me down. Craig spotted me and came over.

"Are you ready to get out of here?" He asked conspiratorially.

Before I could answer, I heard Eric's voice. "Unfortunately Mr. Sutherfield, Sookie and I have some business to attend to. Perhaps you two could reschedule your . . . plans." The disdain on that last word was not lost on me.

I spun to face Eric, fully prepared to unleash my ire on him, when I heard Craig reply, "Of course sir." He turned to me, "Ms. Stackhouse, another time?" His words were polite, but underneath I felt an undercurrent of anger and, for the briefest moment, a surge of white hot fury from his mind. It was a momentary blip and, frankly, I was too caught up in my own anger to pay it much mind.

I looked at Craig and politely agreed, but I could tell there would be no "another time." Eric made sure of that.

When Craig had walked away, I hissed to Eric, "Just who do you think you are?"

"We must talk," was all he said before gripping me just above my elbow and propelling me towards the king.

"Your highness, if you have no further need of us, I have business to discuss with Ms. Stackhouse."

I wanted nothing more at that moment than to tell Eric that I had absolutely no desire to discuss anything with him, however, I knew how precarious his position in the new regime was and, despite the fact that I was angry with him, I did not want to see him killed because he could not control his "asset." So I plastered on my fake smile, made my goodbyes, and let Amelia know who I was leaving with.

Eric helped me into a car, and then drove off like a shot. I said nothing. What was there to say? If this was business, then he had to tell me what it was about. After about twenty minutes I realized we were heading out of New Orleans. What the hell? My curiosity got the better of me.

"Eric, where the hell are we going?"

"There are some people I would like you to meet. Some investors would like to open more Fangtasias . . . franchise them if you will. I need you to listen to them," he said, but he looked at me, pointed to the dashboard, and then pointed to his ears.

Okay, so he thought someone might be listening in. I have to give vampires props. In Dallas they had not even understood the possibility of bugs, now they assumed they were there. They learn fast.

We pulled up to a lovely house and, Eric even came around, opened my door and helped me out of the car. The touch of his hand sent shivers through me and I silently cursed my body for betraying me.

I followed Eric into the house, and before my eyes even had time to adjust to the lighting, he'd slammed the door shut behind me and had me up against it, his lips crushing mine.

I felt my body betraying me once again as my lips parted for his tongue and my hands began to stray up to tangle in his hair. It took every ounce of willpower I had to put my hands on his chest and try to push him away.

"Eric," I said as I tried to push him. He just dropped his head to my neck and began nuzzling me, small groans escaping from him as he took in my scent. I can't even begin to describe what those sounds did to my libido, but another part of me was pissed off - really, really pissed off.

"Eric! Stop it!" I shouted at him, pushing with everything I had.

He pulled away, his eyes dark with lust and, no small amount of anger. I watched as he clenched and unclenched his fists in an effort to gain control of himself. Frankly, I don't think I've ever seen him have so much trouble before.

"You can't do this to me Eric. It's been almost five months. Five months Eric! Not a visit, not even a phone call in five months and now you think you can just whisk me off for a tryst in the middle of nowhere?" I could tell that I was picking up a full head of steam, but I'd been holding it all in for too long.

"How dare you! How dare you barge back into my life like that? What gives you the right to change my social plans at your whim?" At that last comment, I heard Eric snort. Yes, Eric the one-thousand year old Viking vampire snorted in disgust. I probably shouldn't have, but I was so angry I just reacted and my hand shot out to slap him.

It met his cheek with a satisfying "crack" and, without even thinking about it, went up for another one. This time, however, a very large hand caught me at my wrist.

"Are you quite through?" Eric spat out through gritted teeth.

I nodded silently. I was a little terrified at the look on his face. He dropped my wrist.

"I am sorry I bothered you. Clearly this was a mistake. I shall return you to your _human_ escort." He turned to the door and I was hit with a wave of regret, sorrow and jealousy through the bond.

"You're jealous!" I blurted out.

He turned around to face me. "Why do you sound so surprised?"

"Why am I surprised? Eric, you have ignored me for nearly five months. That may not be a long time to you when you have forever, but to us mere mortals it is. Not even a word Eric. Not one word. You didn't even send Pam with a message! What was I supposed to think?"

"Did it not occur to you that I was protecting you?" He answered.

"Protecting me? From what? I already have the king's protection!"

He stepped forward and cupped my face with his large hand. "Sometimes I forget just how naive you are," but before I could go off on him for calling me naive, he continued. "I could not let de Castro, or any of his lieutenants know how I felt about you. I will not have you used by one of them to get to me. It is bad enough that the king knows we have a blood bond."

Something clicked in my head. "What do you mean 'how you feel' about me?"


	6. Chapter 6

_A/N: Thank you all for the lovely reviews. Thanks again KCP for the beta work. You rock! _

_I wanted to address one review, just in case other people were similarly confused:_

**"So they have a blood bond and the King knows about this. What am I missing? Wouldn't Eric spend time with his bonded? Why would he ignore her? I understand he might not want the King to know the depth of his feeling toward Sookie but no contact? Doesn't make sense. What am I missing?"**

_It's one thing to have a blood bond, another to have feelings. At Rhodes, Andre wanted to bond Sookie, he had no feelings for her. The bond should cause the human to "heel nicely" but Sookie does not heel. Not all blood bonds involve feelings (as would have been the case with Andre). Feelings are something that can be exploited and Eric knows this well. He wouldn't want to be around Sookie unless he "needed" her for her telepathic talents because, if someone were watching, they would know there was more going on._

_I hope that clarifies it.  
_

Chapter 5

I chuckled then. She really was the most naive person I had ever met. I held her face with my hand, and pulled her to me. I placed a whisper light kiss on her lips, barely brushing them with mine, and then pulled her to my chest. I bent my face to the top of her head and just took in her scent, enjoying the feel of her against me.

"Did he hurt you so badly that you cannot tell when someone is in love with you?" I asked her. I pulled away and used two fingers under her chin to tilt her face up.

"You love me? You? Eric Northman, Sheriff of Area 5? You're not cursed or anything are you?"

"Yes, me, and no, I'm not cursed" I answered simply.

Silent tears began to run down her face, and I wiped them with my thumb before bending to kiss her once again. She smelled of soap and Obsession and that unique scent that was just Sookie. She was intoxicating.

Her lips parted and I felt her warm tongue dart in and brush against my fangs. I groaned into her mouth and pulled her closer to me. Her hands tangled into my hair, pulling my head down to hers as she devoured my mouth.

I needed more. My hands went to the straps of her dress and tugged them down, over her shoulders. It fell at her feet in a careless puddle of silk and my hands were free to roam her glorious sun-kissed skin. My fingers grazed her nipples and they hardened at my touch.

I felt her whimper against my tongue. I broke off our kiss to bend my head to them, taking first one, then the other into my mouth, suckling them. I just pierced one with the tip of a fang, sucking briefly on the trickle of blood before the wound closed up from my saliva. Her blood is like the proverbial manna from heaven and, her resulting moan made my already straining cock twitch against the zipper of my pants.

I backed her up to the couch and laid her down on it. Fuck she was so beautiful laying there in nothing but a thong. Her eyes were hooded with desire and she did not take them off me. Slowly I took of my clothes, letting her watch as my hands traced the muscles of my abdomen. I could feel her desire soar across the bond and my cock throbbed with it.

She sat up and crawled over to me. She wrapped one of her hands around the base and, ever so slowly, took me into her mouth. Her tongue danced over the tip, lapping up any fluids that collected there, and I twitched in her hand. After a few minutes, I could not stand it anymore. I had to taste her. I pulled away and laid her back down once again, slowly peeling off her panties.

I kissed her greedily, and then bent my head to her neck, flicking my tongue behind her ears and running it along her collar bone. My hand strayed down and found her wet heat. My god was she wet. I slid a finger in and felt her buck against my palm. Slowly I worked my way down her body until I was nestled between her legs, my finger still sliding in and out.

Her moans were exquisite and only encouraged me further. I bent to taste her and it was exactly as I remembered it, but better. I made long, lazy strokes across her folds, getting my fill of her taste and scent. I pulled her clit into my mouth, suckling on it and working my tongue against it. I slid another finger in and felt her muscles begin to clench as she rode the crest of her orgasm, grinding against my hand.

I could not wait any longer. I lifted her by hips and slowly slid my length into her. Her wet warmth pulled me in, clinging to me. I buried myself in her as she wrapped her legs around my waist, her heels digging in to my ass and pushing me deeper. I brushed the hair from her face and kissed her. I did not have to ask her to look at me, she already was.

I moved slowly, not wanting to rush, but every nerve in my body screamed for release. I kept my eyes on hers, sending wave after wave of love across the bond.

"Eric." My name ghosted across her lips and, at that moment I never needed anyone as much as I needed her.

"My lover."

My strokes became more urgent and she tilted her hips to me, taking me deeper. I hit her spot and she spasmed around me, my name a chant spilling from her mouth. I bent to her breast and bit, feeling the hot, sweet, saltiness of her fairy-tinged blood course down my throat and, drove my climax into her.

We lay there in a tangled heap. The heat of her body, and the magic of her blood, kept me warm and flushed. Her head lay on my chest and her hair, so like mine, splayed out and caressed us both.

There, in that room, in that house, we were the entire world. For that night, the magic born of Hallow's curse was recreated and made pure. Nothing else mattered. Only it did and, soon, very soon, we were going to pay the price.


	7. Chapter 7

_A/N: Sorry this update took so long. I promise the next one will be sooner (and longer). _

Chapter 6

Two days later I was getting ready to go in to work. It was early, as I had the lunch shift and, I needed to run a few errands before work. I was trying to sort out everything that happened between me and Eric in New Orleans. Truth was, what happened between us wasn't that complicated. Eric loved me. And me? I was still unsure. Eric was fine. _I_ was the complicated part.

I knew without a doubt that I loved _my_ Eric, the Eric that was cursed by Hallow. I knew without a doubt that I cared a great, great deal for this Eric; the thousand year old Viking vampire sheriff of Area 5. The problem was, I couldn't tell how much of what I felt was mine, and how much was coming through the bond from Eric.

Also, if I was really honest with myself, I was scared to know the truth. Eric was right that night. Bill did hurt me. What I found out that first time in New Orleans wounded me more than I had admitted even to myself. I didn't know if I could ever give myself over to anyone that way again. I felt broken somehow. In retrospect, I suppose it was why I used Quinn's family as an excuse to send him packing. I mean really; I had a problem with him putting family first? Even I had to see the ridiculousness of that excuse. Let's face it, if he hadn't put his family first, I would have broken up with him for being a terrible son and brother. He couldn't have won no matter what he did.

It had to be because I was broken in some way. I had thought it was just my heart at the time, but I began to think something much more fundamental was wrong.

I put my brush down and gripped the edge of the sink, willing back my tears. I took two steadying breaths, and then looked over at the clock. "Shit!"

I hurriedly pulled my hair into a ponytail, slapped on some lip gloss, grabbed my bag and ran out the door.

As I pulled in to the lot at the library, I swore to myself that if I could just get through today without thinking about this, without making anyone uncomfortable, I would worry about it tonight. Amelia was still in New Orleans overseeing some of the renovations, so I would have plenty of time, all by myself, to think about me and Eric.

The lot was empty. The library wasn't even open yet, but I was just going to use the drop slot to drop off my books before they became overdue. I got out of the car, reached in for the books then turned to lock the door. I heard a quiet sound behind me, but before I could turn around everything went black, and I didn't think about anything for a long time.


	8. Chapter 8

_A/N: Okay, I know I said this one would be longer but . . . oops. I promise, there are some longer chapters coming. Thank the ladies of LTAE for this since they've hounded me. KCP, thanks again for being my beta. You rock._

_I also want to thank each and every one of you that leaves a review. I get giddy every time I check my email and see a review alert. I'm sorry I can't respond to each one. I spend most of my days chasing three boys, two dogs and a husband around the house. In between I try to squeeze in some time to write and, also read some of the other incredible writing (which humbles me to no end) that I have found here. Thank you all for bearing with me, being patient (i.e., not bringing out the pitchforks) and, taking the time to read this.  
_

Chapter 7

I awoke to pain. Only it was not mine, it was hers. That was an hour ago, and there was about another hour and a half until sunset. I growled in frustration, and then bent my attention to the bond between us. She was not close. If I had to venture a guess, I would say she was thousands of miles away. I forced myself out of bed. My age allowed me some movement during daylight hours, and it was easier when it was closer to sunset, but right now I was still sluggish.

Another flash of pain caused me to howl in anger. The thought of what she was enduring, if I was feeling it at this distance, was almost too much to bear. I paced my daytime chamber restlessly, frustrated at my impotence to help her.

I called her as soon as I awoke, but there was no answer at her home or, on her cell, so I called the shifter. He informed me that Sookie had not shown up for work that day and, that no one had been able to find her. Her car was not at home and he had called all of her friends, but no one had seen her. He told me he hounded the police to run a trace on her cell phone. Normally, they would not consider her a missing person for much longer, but Bon Temps was a small town and, whatever they thought of Sookie's recent associations, they knew she would never just not show up for work.

I sat down and focused once more on the bond. In addition to the pain, there was anger and shock. _Good. Use the anger Sookie._ If she was angry, she would still fight back, and my bonded was nothing if not a fighter. I tried to send comfort and support through the bond, but I'm not sure how much reached her at this distance or, if she was in any condition to focus on it.

The phone rang.

"This is Northman."

"Eric, it's Sam. They ran a trace on her cell phone. They found her car at the library, but there's no sign of her. Her purse, phone and books were on the ground by the car. Someone took her Eric. God damn it, someone took her!"

"I know. She's somewhere south. I'm not sure exactly where, but I can track her when I get out of here." I growled again in frustration. "Sam, she's not close. Not at all."

"Tell me what you need Northman and we'll be ready to move when you can."


	9. Chapter 9

_A/N: Thank you all once again for the review crack. It feeds me and keeps me going! KCP, as always, thank you! The crew over at LTAE, you guys inspire me every day. Again a short chapter, but I'm just trying to stay true to the story and the natural breaks. There is more written, it's just being fine tuned so you will have it soon, I promise. I'm in awe every day of the fact that people even want to read this. Okay enough of the wine driven drivel, enjoy._

Chapter 8

I opened my eyes slowly, squinting at the bright light in the room. I tried to move my head, but I got so dizzy I had to close my eyes again. I took a few deep breaths and tried again. Clearly I'd been drugged. My limbs felt a bit heavy, but I managed to sit up. Then I wished I hadn't. A wave of nausea hit me and I leaned over retching. I don't know how long I was out, but it was long enough that there was no food in my system, and I did nothing but dry heave.

When I was through I took a good look around. The room was mostly empty. In addition to the small mattress I was on, there was a chair in the middle and, a locked cabinet against one of the walls. There were no windows, and only one door. I slowly walked to it, and tried the handle. Locked. Of course. I hadn't really expected anything different, but I had to try.

As I stood by the door, I heard voices. They were speaking Spanish. Where the hell was I? I lowered my shields to try to read the minds that went with those voices, but all I got was a stream of Spanish (which I don't understand) and, images as one of the men recalled his night with his wife (which I really didn't want to see).

I reached out a little bit more, but the only other bit of information I got was that I was on a boat or, rather, a ship. An old freight ship of some kind, but I had no idea where. I reached out to Eric through the bond, but I hardly felt him. I realized it was probably daytime and he was dead to the world. He also felt, and I don't know how I knew this, very far away. I hoped I was wrong.

I called to Claudine. I mean if ever I needed my fairy godmother it was now, but I got nothing. Just how far away was I? Does distance matter with fairies? I had to admit, I knew very little about my own heritage. Then again, my great-grandfather and my cousins had not always been so forthcoming when it came to giving me information.

"Damn it Claudine! I really, really need you!"

I heard the lock on the door turn, and the scrape of metal as the door swung open.

"I'm afraid your fairy godmother is not going to be joining us today," said a familiar voice.

For the briefest of moments I thought this was a rescue, until I saw the look in his eyes. I don't think I've ever been more frightened than I was just then.


	10. Chapter 10

_A/N: First let me apologize for leaving you guys hanging for so long, but I blame E!online for interrupting my life with all of that Alpha Male voting crap! Now that my fingers have stopped cramping up, I can return to this. As promised, this is a bit of a longer chapter (but it's not Moby Dick, so don't get too excited). Once again, KCP thank you for fixing all my commas (cause I hate those buggers) and, for putting up with my multiple mailings when I can't remember what I've already sent you! Yes, since having children I have lost what little of my sanity I had and, with that, my memory flew out the window. They say insanity is hereditary; you get it from your kids. Anyway, back to our Viking . . . *lick, slurp*_

Chapter 9

When Pam and I arrived at the airport, we were greeted by Bill, Sam, Amelia, Sandy Seachrest, a vampire introduced as Ian Holcroft, Alcide Herveaux, and another were that I did not know. I cocked a questioning eyebrow at Sam, but Sandy answered.

"Northman," she greeted me in her curt manner. "The king has ordered me and Ian to accompany you and, assist you in any way. Ms. Stackhouse is under his formal protection and, he is quite upset that this has happened. He has also made his private jet available to you." She stopped talking and indicated a Lear jet in the background. "There are five travel boxes already on board." She proffered, anticipating my next question.

"And you Herveaux?"

Alcide stiffened slightly but answered, "Sookie is a friend of the pack! She will always have our support. Sam, Calvin and I can search for her during the day." He looked pointedly at Eric. "When you can't."

My face betrayed nothing, but inside I seethed. The wolf was right. She had suffered the entire day and I had been unable to do a thing about it. The thought tore at me.

The other were shot Alcide a slightly irritated look, then looked at me. "I'm Calvin Norris."

"The were-panther. Sookie's friend." I looked at his hand. "Are you healed?"

Calvin flexed his fingers. "Well enough."

I nodded. For her, I would swallow my pride. Three of the two-natured and a witch. They would be of use during the day.

They boarded the plane and Sandy went to speak to the pilot. A moment later she reappeared. "Northman, where are we headed?"

"South. Venezuela."

Several heads swung toward me. I did not really feel like explaining myself, but they were all here, for her. Pam and Amelia knew and, if he had not known before, Sam learned on the night that Sigebert attacked me and de Castro outside Merlotte's, but I did not know if Alcide, Calvin or the other vampires had been told.

"Sookie and I share a blood bond." I looked at each of them, daring them to say something. Alcide looked horrified, but to his credit said nothing. Sandy and Ian merely nodded, as if understanding something, but they too said nothing. Bill's face betrayed nothing, but his eyes told a different story. Norris looked a little sad, but also nodded.

"So what now? You're like vampire GPS?" Everyone looked at Amelia. "What? You're all wondering it."

I looked at her. "Yes Amelia. I suppose I am like vampire GPS. The bond is currently weak because of the distance, but I can feel her enough to pinpoint where she is."

"I tried using a locator spell for her, but I got nothing." Amelia whispered. "If it wasn't for you, I'd think she was dead. Even Claudine can't find her."

"Well then, we know this much; whoever it is knows about you and," I hesitated, "Claudine." Let the others think she was another witch. "Clearly they've used some kind of magic to block you. The question is, how?" I looked at each of them, but no one seemed to have an idea.

Sandy snapped her phone shut. "We know a bit more." She said ominously. "There was an incident during the day today at one of our offices. The theft of a large amount of cash. At first we had no reason to connect it to what happened to Sookie. However, our investigators just uncovered something. They traced the theft back to someone in the king's inner circle. When they searched his home they found files, listening devices and recordings. Sookie has been under surveillance for a long time Eric. Apparently there were listening devices in her home, her car, her work . . . even one in her evening bag three nights ago."

Three nights ago? Sandy meant the night of the party in New Orleans. So someone knew. Someone knew exactly how I felt about her.

"Why would someone have surveillance on Sookie?" Sam asked.

Sandy looked at me, clearly not wanting to answer the question.

I looked down at my hands then back at all of them. "To get to me. Someone is using Sookie to get to me."

Sam let out a string of choice expletives, but to his credit, did not attack me. He did, however, surprise me. "How do you know it's about you? What if this is about Niall? He has plenty of his own enemies."

Sandy looked from me to Sam. "Niall? The fairy prince? What am I missing?"

Sam looked at me, unsure if he should say anything or not. Amelia took care of that.

"He's her great grandfather."

I hissed at her, but she kept on going. "Don't you give me that Eric! She's in trouble and if we're going to help her, we all need to be on the same page. Sam is right. How do we know this about you and not Niall?"

How was I to tell them? It had to be more than coincidence that two days after we were together, after I professed my love to her, that she was taken. I was not going to share that with them though.

"Whoever it is has made sure that neither Amelia, nor Niall and his ilk, can find or contact Sookie, yet they've done nothing to try to shut down the bond between Sookie and I. They want me to know exactly what is happening to her."

It was Calvin who spoke first. "Eric. What _is_ happening to her?"

I looked him in the eyes. It was obvious this man held Sookie in high regard, maybe he even loved her. I could not blame him for that. My eyes must have betrayed more than I thought because he looked down and asked, "And you can feel it?"

"All of it. Even at this distance. It woke me in the day."

Amelia ran to the restroom and we could hear her getting sick. Alcide looked like he was on the verge of transforming, his rage was so obvious. Bill looked murderous. Even Pam was having difficulty maintaining her usual air of disaffectedness.

Sandy broke the tense silence. "Eric? Sookie is a direct descendant of Niall? We need to make sure he knows a vampire did not do this."

"We do not know that one was not involved."

"Fairy. I guess that explains a few things," Alcide said.

"What is that supposed to mean?" I asked him, taking a step forward. Sookie already believed it was her fairy tainted blood that attracted us to her. I did not need this pup convincing her of it.

"Nothing! It's just that I thought I smelled a fairy with her the night we fought Priscilla and her pack from St. Catherine's Parish. I didn't understand it at the time, but I never had a chance to talk to her about it."

I knew about this from Pam. Sookie had a knack for getting into dangerous situations, but this? This was beyond anything she had experienced before.

I may have grunted something at Alcide, and he got up and to get a drink. I walked to one of the windows and stood, staring at the night sky blur past.

Ian approached and stood next to me. He said nothing for a few minutes and then, "I was once bonded. I will do anything in my power to help your Sookie."

I turned to look at him and the pain in his eyes was all the confirmation I needed. Then I did something I almost never do. I reached out my arm to him and he gripped it like a warrior; clasping my forearm near my elbow. It was our pact.

"Eric?" I heard Amelia's voice behind me.

I turned to face her friend. The brave little witch who was prepared to stab Victor the night of the take over. "You said that what . . . what was happening to Sookie woke you during the day. That means a vampire didn't take her doesn't it?"

"No a vampire did not take her," Sandy interjected, "but I know who did."

_Additional A/N: What? You thought I'd give it to you that easy?_


	11. Chapter 11

_A/N: I'm so sorry I have left you all hanging for so long. I have not written much more, but I felt it was just cruel to leave you guys hanging. Once again I want to thank all of you who leave me reviews. I apologize for not responding to each of you, but then I'd **never** get anything done! That said, please don't stop! You don't know how necessary review crack is to those of us who write! I think it's a sickness really. Maybe we need to start a group? FFAA? FanFicAuthorsAnonymous? Or, RCA? ReviewCrackAnonymous?_

_Anyway, it is nearly 2 a.m., I've been cooking all day for Passover tomorrow night, and I'll be having a 20 person dinner here. WTF am I thinking? And yet, like a junkie, here I am posting for you guys! Sick I tell you! Sick! Alright, I'll shut up now. I hope you enjoy it. I don't think Sookie will._

Chapter 10

It couldn't be. It just couldn't be. He had not betrayed anything of this to me before and yet, now, I could read the madness in his eyes without even dipping into his head.

"Craig! What the hell is going on? Why is the king doing this?" I tried to read him, but was met with . . . nothing. He was blocking me!

"De Castro has nothing to do with this." He replied. "In fact, I have to say I believe he is quite taken with you. If it weren't for your bond with the Viking, I believe he would try to keep you for himself. I can't say I blame him." Craig's leer was unmistakable.

How had I been fooled so completely?

"Because you are easily fooled." He replied with a smirk on his face.

If I was shocked before, I was completely stunned now.

"I let you see what you wanted to see. A lifetime of seeing into mens' minds and knowing what they wanted from you, so I gave you what you wanted; a peek into a mind that was free of such thoughts. Was I chaste enough for you dear Sookie?"

I realized that Craig was a telepath. Not just a telepath, but an incredibly powerful one. I was a child in comparison.

I began to back away from him. He chuckled and kept coming towards me.

"Why? Why are you doing this to me? If it's not de Castro, then who? Why?" I asked, trying to divert him.

"The Viking was right. You are so very naïve Sookie. Do you really think de Castro is the only vampire with something to offer me? The only one with something to gain from this?"

I frantically sought about the recesses of my mind for the vampires I had met, desperately trying to figure out who was behind this. Wait. He knew Eric called me naïve. Oh god, he'd been listening. This was about Eric! Craig smiled and I knew he was in my head again.

"Get out! Get out of my head!" I screamed at him. His laughter chilled me to the bone.

"I will humor you Sookie and tell you why; because you are a message. A payment if you will. I was chosen because I am good at this. I am very, very good at this and, I accepted for two reasons. First, because he will turn me when this is over, and second, because of you. I want you Sookie, and I do not just mean sex, although that will be an added benefit. I'm going to own you completely Sookie."

I've never been more terrified in my life. Not from Rene, not in Rhodes, not in the middle of the pack fight in Shreveport because I knew deep down that this time it was not just my life in jeopardy, but my soul. Well, I wasn't going down with out a fight. Stackhouses don't go down without a fight. Craig was so sure of himself, he didn't even lock the door. If I could get past him, I had a chance.

I flew at him with my fists balled up. I never even got close. Pain lanced through my body and I hit the ground with a thud.

"Tut, tut, tut Sookie. We can't have that now can we?" Craig's voice teased through the haze of the pain. He picked me up and placed me in the chair. I felt restraints go around my wrists and ankles. Finally, mercifully, the pain stopped and, other than to set me in the chair and place the restraints, Craig had not laid a hand on me.

What the hell had just happened?

My eyes finally focused again and I watched as he went over to the locked cabinet.

"I've learned a lot about the human mind Sookie. Unlike you I was never afraid of my power. From a young age I figured out how to use it to my advantage. I have learned so many things. As you just noticed, I learned where the pain centers of the brain are Sookie. It doesn't take too much to stimulate those."

And as if to prove a point, I felt a whisper light touch in my head just before a sharp pain pierced my leg.

I grunted, but refused to scream. I wasn't going to give him the pleasure of my screams.

"I've also learned what will coerce someone, or change their mind or, help them forget. Do you know what else Sookie? Do you know what is so close to the pain center it is almost laughable? Pleasure."

And for the briefest of moments, I felt a tingle of exquisite pleasure course through my body.

Oh my god. I was so fucked.

"But still, there is nothing like a hands-on approach."

I watched as he unlocked the cabinet. I saw several rows of glittering metal objects and closed my eyes.

_This can't be happening. This can't be happening._

"Oh but it is Sookie."

My eyes flew open and I watched him walk towards me with something in his hand.

"And Sookie? You will scream."

My screams started moments later.


	12. Chapter 12

_A/N: I'm sorry this chapter was a long time in coming. Even though I am a bit ahead of the story, I swore to myself that I will only post a chapter if another one is written and, the last chapter I worked on was incredibly difficult to write for many, many reasons. Plus, sometimes, you just get the damned BLOCK - writer's block. What are ya gonna do? _

_Once again I'd like to thank each and every one of you that leaves a review. You don't know how incredible your support has been. This has not been an easy story to write. Frankly, my first (and incredibly crappy) drafts were begun back in February. Seeing the way people are responding to it really makes me want to see it through to the end. Thank you all so much._

_So, without too much more ado, I give you the Viking's POV.  
_

Chapter 11

Craig Sutherfield. Well at least something fell into place. Now I knew how they got a listening device on Sookie in New Orleans, but why? Who was he working for?

Our plane arrived in Caracas at approximately four in the morning. We disembarked and, almost immediately, several cars and a truck pulled up. De Castro's people were nothing if not efficient and, within moments, we were in the cars, the coffins were in the truck and the drivers were waiting on my instructions.

I bent my attention to the bond. She was close! She was very, very close. I stepped out of the car, closed my eyes and began to track her, to feel her. I turned in the direction of the runway. There were three planes lined up for take off. I could feel her in one of them.

I began to run towards them, but even vampire speed cannot outmatch jet engines and, before I could cross the airport to the side that was dealing with outbound traffic, the last of the planes was already taxiing. It did not matter. I could feel it, the one she was on had already taken off.

With a howl that shook the windows of the nearest building, I let my rage and frustration out. So fucking close! How did they know? Did they have someone on the inside?

I looked back at the group of people waiting, now gathered around the cars. The only real unknowns were Sandy and Ian. However, you do not live for a thousand years and not learn to read people, even vampires. I trusted Ian. I understood the pain I saw in his eyes. And, Sandy was not the type to turn. No, something did not add up.

Amelia ran up to me. "Where is she?"

"Gone."

"What the hell do you mean 'gone'?"

"She was on one of the planes that just took off."

"Then let's go. Let's get back on the plane and you track her!" She shrieked.

I turned my full glare on her then, and she shut the fuck up.

"It does not work that way. I cannot just follow her in flight. She needs to be . . . somewhere. We cannot just take off and try to follow her trajectory. Plus, our plane needs to be refueled. We have no idea where they are going. The sun is going to rise in just under two hours. We need to find out what we can about where they were. Perhaps they left something behind that will tell us where they are going."

The mood in the car was somber. I was riding with Pam, Amelia, Calvin and Sam. Mercifully, Alcide was with Sandy, Bill and Ian. If I had to listen to the pup growl anymore, I might have torn his head off.

I still had a vague sense of where Sookie had been, so we headed from the airport. We did not have far to travel. Simon Bolivar Airport is not too far from the water. We pulled up to a small harbor and told the driver to stop. I got out of the car and began to walk towards one of the freighters. I felt Sam come up on my right.

"She was there." He said, pointing to the freighter. "I can smell her."

"I know." I replied. As we got closer, I could also smell blood. We stepped aboard and discovered the bodies of several men, still holding their weapons.

I could not hear anyone else aboard. I looked at Sam and he nodded in agreement.

I followed the now clear trail of Sookie's scent to one of the storage rooms below deck. As soon as I opened the door, I could smell her blood.

I turned to the group, because of course, everyone but the drivers had followed us on board, and told them to spread out and search the ship.

Only Pam and Sam accompanied me into the room. I saw a bare mattress on the floor, a chair in the middle of the room, and an open and empty cabinet against one wall. There was nothing else in the room.

I walked over to the mattress and was relieved to find only Sookie's scent on it. I felt a pang of relief that his was not on it as well, although I think I may have felt _that_ particular horror through the bond, separate and apart from the pain she had endured.

Her blood was splattered across the chair, and lay in a few small puddles on the floor, but in reality, it was not a lot. Sutherfield knew how to inflict a lot of pain with very little loss of blood. Now that I knew it was him, I could identify his scent throughout the room.

I heard Sam whisper softly from across the room, so softly only a vampire would hear, "oh chère."

However, other than her blood and his scent, nothing else was left behind.

We met on deck. Sandy spoke first.

"We know why the fairies cannot find her. This ship is filled with iron ore. The entire cargo is iron ore."

Amelia sucked in a deep breath. "There is no way they can find her if she's shielded by iron. They must be transporting her with it too, or else they'd be able to find her on the plane."

"Eric," Pam warned.

I looked at the sky and I felt it as well. There was less than an hour left before dawn. Our group silently made its way to the cars, which took us to our hotel. It was agreed that Amelia, Sam, Calvin and Alcide, were going to return to the ship later and see if they could track anyone from there or, find any living witnesses. Anything, anyone, that might give us an advantage.

_I know, I'm terrible with the short chapters, but hey, at least you got another question answered right?_


	13. Chapter 13

_A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews. They are so very appreciated. The crack keeps all of us fic writers, well, writing. And, reviews make Eric happy. Sorry about the delay, but I was crazy sick last week, although I did manage to crank out something. Funny what four days of fever does to your imagination. I imagined I was at Paley Fest . . . oh, wait, I **was** at Paley Fest. Pfft. Alex gave me a fever. I'll blame the beautiful Swede._

_Thanks again to KCP for being my beta. I know my punctuation is awful, but she puts up with me anyway. Thanks to everyone over at the LTEA thread and at ViHOP. You guys rock.  
_

Chapter 12

I awoke to cool fingers gently washing me down, water sluicing down my breasts as the sponge coasted over my shoulders. I sighed. _Eric_. He came. He came for me. I felt fingers glide over my breasts, and my nipples hardened in response. I felt warm kisses on my neck, slowly trailing down to my collar bone. Wait, _warm kisses?_

My eyes flew open and instead of blue, I saw green staring back at me.

Craig laughed as a shriek came out of my mouth, and his lips curled up at the corners in a smile.

I realized I was sitting, naked, in a small tub. I wanted to lift my arms, to try to cover my nakedness, but they wouldn't respond, and my fingers splashed uselessly in the water. I realized my head was also lolling lazily.

"What . . . what have you done?" I slurred.

"Oh, I just gave you a little something to help you relax. I couldn't have you trying to run off . . . again . . . while I bathed you."

I grimaced at the reminder of my failed escape attempt.

After what felt like hours, days, weeks, I had no idea, strapped into the chair, Craig finally stopped. I didn't even have the strength to scream anymore and the only sounds I was making were soft whimpers. I thought of nothing but tiredness, sleep and pain. My head slumped forward. I felt Craig undo the restraints and I took my chance. My elbow shot up and clipped him in the face, and I lunged for the door.

My hand made it to the handle before my world exploded into a million shards of glass, each one slicing me open. I don't know how long I flailed about on the floor. I do know that I found the strength to scream again. The cries tore from me until I was hoarse and they issued forth nearly soundlessly.

And the entire time, Craig stood over me, his hands carelessly shoved into his pockets, like it was nothing. Then, mercifully, I passed out.

Which brought me back to the present. I could tell from Craig's smile that he was "listening in" while I recalled the day before.

I flinched slightly as his hands skimmed over a painful spot on my ribs. Hell, there weren't many spots on my body that weren't painful. I could feel myself blushing at my nakedness, despite everything. I was mortified. I always hated the fact that I blushed, but I don't think I ever hated it more.

"But you look lovely when you blush Sookie," Craig purred in my ear.

"Get out of my head!" I tried to sound angry, but my words were still somewhat slurred.

"Oh, but it is so lovely in here Sookie. There is so much to explore. You are so much more complicated than at first _blush_." He made a point of emphasizing that last word.

His hands continued caressing my body, washing it, but he just made me feel dirty.

As his hands continued to roam, I began to feel a tingle in the pit of my stomach.

"No," I moaned. "Please, oh god, Craig please, no . . ."

"I love hearing you beg Sookie."

His hands and fingers were everywhere now, pulling, pinching, and probing. My brain was screaming "NO!" Not him, not like this, but then I felt it, his invasion into my head, and he was making my body respond as if it was completely disconnected from my consciousness.

My body rode on waves of pleasure as my brain screamed in terror. Humiliation, shame and horror tore through my head, while Craig manipulated the pleasure centers of my brain.

I tried to go to that place in my head. The place I went when I was a little girl and Uncle Bartlett would touch me. The place where I could hide, and where I wouldn't hear his thoughts and I wouldn't feel his touch, the place where the monsters were afraid to go.

Craig was there waiting for me.

I ran again.

I ran to the place in my head where I kept my memories of Gran. I'd be safe there. She'd protect me as she always had.

Craig was waiting there for me.

I ran again.

My brain became a warren of hallways, rooms and doors. I kept trying to escape him, to outrun him, but I would open a door, and Craig would be there, always with that mocking grin on his face. He was enjoying this so much, but I wasn't sure what he enjoyed more; making me complicit in the rape of my body or, of my mind.

Finally, I turned the corner, slipped through a door, and . . . silence. I still knew what Craig was doing to my body, and my mind, but I was detached. I felt protected and, momentarily, safe.

I had found Eric. He was reaching out to me through the bond, trying to send calm, but I knew I was too far away to feel it with the same intensity that I would at home. Yet still, here, in this little closet in my mind, I could get a measure of relief, some respite.

For a few brief moments it was quiet. I could think uninterrupted and unheard. Eric. I basked in the faint sensation of the bond, the buzz of his life out there that kept me tethered to him. Then realization hit me. It was daytime. Eric should not be awake to be sending this to me.

Oh god! He was feeling it! Oh god, oh god, oh god! The shame and embarrassment crashed through me again, but again I felt the faint push of calm. No. I couldn't, I wouldn't, let him feel this, any of it, but I was afraid to completely block the bond. If I did, how would he find me?

Then I heard it, bashing upon the door of my sanctuary. Craig was outside and he was furious. He was going to bash down the door. He was going to find me, find this place, and find Eric. I couldn't let that happen. Who knows what he would do? He was screaming and threatening me now.

I envisioned another door, a back door, and I walked out. I turned and faced my sanctuary. I pictured it being bricked over, blocking it out, blocking Eric from this, but I left out one brick, one solitary brick. I hoped it was enough and I walked back out to Craig.

_A/N: I warned you at the start of this didn't I? Don't say I didn't warn you. _


	14. Chapter 14

_A/N: *gasp* Is this another update in less than a week? Yes, yes it is. As always, thanks to KCP for beta-ing and, thanks to the wonderful ladies (and gents) at the Wiki for your constant support and love. I also have to shout out to the ladies of (currently) Northman's Steam Room here at the Sookieverse. You guys are an endless source of laughter, support and fun._

_Just a little reminder that CH owns these characters and I'm just playing in her sandbox.  
_

Chapter 13

I could not believe she did it. She cut me off. She fucking cut me off. She felt me helping her, and she cut me off. I knew why she did it, and that angered me even more. All of it angered me and I swore that Craig Sutherfield, and whoever employed him, were going to suffer greatly before they died.

When I was first awakened, I was incredibly confused because, what woke me was the most overwhelming sense of physical pleasure. It was so intense, and I was so disoriented by my daytime wakefulness, that it was a few moments before I even realized that I was stroking myself. Then, I awoke enough to realize that this was coming through the bond.

A week ago I would have been infuriated to feel it. This could only be a result of one thing. A week ago I would believe that she was willingly engaged with someone else and my anger would be legendary.

But that was a week ago.

Since that night in New Orleans, everything was different. She could not say the words and, maybe she did not even recognize it yet for what it was or, was just too scared to admit it, but I knew that she loved me. I saw it in her eyes when I made love to her. I heard it in her voice as she whispered my name. She would just take time.

She would not willingly do this.

And then it crashed into me. Her shame and humiliation were so deep, so consuming, that it brought me to my knees.

I cried out her name. I cried out to no one. I cried out alone, in a light proof room in a foreign hotel, over two thousand miles away from her.

I pushed out to her with all of my love, with everything I had in the bond I tried to calm her, to buffer what she was feeling.

Horror. Terror. Shame. Guilt. Panic.

For a few brief minutes it worked and I felt her calm. I reached her and, although I knew it was tenuous at best, what I could offer, I was nearly giddy with relief.

Then one on top of the other I felt embarrassment, shame, fear and, finally resignation and, then, I could hardly feel her anymore. I knew the feeling. She had blocked the bond. She was shielding me! Protecting me!

I was stunned. I never knew a human capable of such a thing. Vampires sometimes would do so, if they cared enough for their bonded human, to avoid having them feel anything they did not want to share or, in unique cases, to protect their human from whatever pain or discomfort the vampire is feeling.

So, now it was my turn to feel shame and embarrassment. I was supposed to protect her. It was my fault this was happening to her, yet here she was protecting me. All I could feel was a faint buzz, barely enough to locate her by but, thank god, enough.

I felt my rage grow as I imagined what he was doing to her. I did not understand all of it. I did not understand exactly how he was forcing the physical reaction I had felt, but I knew that it was against her will. I knew that he was terrorizing and humiliating her and, that was enough for me.

By the time the sun set, and I was able to open my bedroom door and enter the living room of the suite where the non-vampires of our group were gathered, there was not much left of the furniture. I saw Amelia's eyes go wide as she took in the destruction behind me, then her face blanched as she perceived its meaning.

"What did you find out?" I asked looking at Sam as, out of the corner of my eye, I saw the rest of the vampires enter. He was not the oldest of the two natured with us, but they did not seem to create the same hierarchy we vampires did. In this case, it seems his "closeness" to Sookie put him in that position.

"Not much," he said grimly. The owner of the boat was paid in cash and, based on the description he gave me, Amelia said it sounds like Sutherfield." He said the name with a snarl on his lips.

"I spoke with a deckhand from a nearby boat," Alcide interjected. "They arrived in a private car, with three guards. I'm assuming that's who we found on deck. The guy happened to pay attention because he noticed that someone was being carried in, as if they were asleep, but that's all I got out of him. I was lucky to find someone who spoke English and was even willing to talk. People around here don't like to get involved."

"I went to the airport." Amelia added. "It took a bit of doing, and a lot of Daddy's money, but I got my hands on some of the security footage from last night."

Amelia pressed a button on the machine near the television and there it was. A grainy image of a black car pulling up on the tarmac near a private plane. A moment later, the door opened and Craig Sutherfield got out, dragging Sookie behind him.

There was a collective gasp from the non-vampires in the room, although I did hear a hiss come from Bill, at the sight of her. She looked . . . well, she looked like someone who had been tortured. It was everything I could do not to tear the television from the wall and throw it out the window.

For a brief, shining moment I watched as my bonded tried to resist, tried to fight being dragged aboard another plane. Then I watched in fascination, and horror, as Sutherfield turned his glare on her. I did not see any words spoken, but I watched Sookie's eyes grow wide with fear. She nodded her head and walked herself onto the plane.

What the fuck did he do to her?

We all watched silently as the plane began to taxi. Amelia shut it off.

"I got the plate number for the car, but we can't make out the plane's number. We can probably track down the car company and, maybe, who hired it. Obviously, it was planned ahead, so perhaps there is some trail we can track. I already called De Castro's people and left a message. They've got more resources to do that kind of checking than we do here."

I had to hand it to the witch. She had gotten further than any of us that day. "Thank you Amelia." I said to her, and I meant every word.

The were-Panther, Calvin, had been quiet since our conversation the day before, but now he voiced a question. "We know the fairies couldn't get to Sookie when she was on the boat, but it didn't look to me like she was wrapped up in iron on that video. How d'you suppose they're blocking them there, and on the plane?"

Amelia tapped her fingers to her lips thinking, but Pam spoke up. "I have a theory." Amelia turned surprised eyes on her former lover. Pam shrugged and continued, "what if they're injecting her with additional iron? Human blood already contains some and, more could be added without too much risk. It would make transporting her easier than keeping her in some sort of iron-lined box."

No one said anything, but everyone nodded. It seemed the most plausible explanation for now.

Everyone looked at me now.

"Belo Horizante, Brazil."

It was not until we were on the plane that someone asked why Brazil and, why to the capital of the relatively unknown state of Minas Gerais, as opposed to a large city like Rio or Sao Paolo.

Bill, unsurprisingly, knew the answer. "They have some of the richest deposits of iron ore in the world. There are several mines in the state of Minas Gerais. I would not doubt they are in one, near one, or in one of the storage sites for one."

"This is unbelievably well planned." Alcide spoke up. "This was no last minute decision. Whoever is behind this has been planning it for some time."

Amelia clicked her tongue as if to tell Alcide he was being obvious.

He gave her a sour look and continued. "What I mean is, there is going to be a trail somewhere leading back to them. We just need to get a lucky break. Maybe the security footage and car was it. I'm just saying, once we do get a trail, I think we're going to be able to figure it out rather quickly."

The Were was right. This had months of planning behind it. Just the eavesdropping alone had gone on for some time. I also had no doubt now that it was personal. This was being done to my bonded. This was not a political ploy. No demands were being made. This was personal. Only who? The reality was that after somewhere in the vicinity of a thousand years, I had made many, many enemies. So for the rest of the flight, I made a list. Unfortunately, it was a very, very long one.

_A/N: yes, I really did look up where the iron mines are and, Minas Gerais (I can't help but think of LOTR) is where most of Brazil's iron mines are. I'm a sucker for thorough research. Oh yeah, and Pam is a an X-Men fan, in case you caught the nod._


	15. Chapter 15

_A/N: Yes, it is real. Another update. What can I say? I've been feeling rather prolific these last few days. Plus, Meads needs a reward for finishing her paper. I could really kick myself for forgetting to thank everyone for their reviews in my last A/N. You don't know how much I appreciate them. The response to the last couple of chapters has been amazing and I am truly humbled that so many of you are enjoying this story. This chapter was exceptionally hard for me to write and I hope I did the subject justice. Once again I need to thank Kristin for beta-ing and constantly stroking my ego. Now, if we could only get her to finish **her** story! I'd also like to thank everyone over at the TB Wiki and the Eric thread here at the Sookieverse. You guys inspire me and I can't believe how lucky I am to be surrounded by so many great writers. Okay, I'll shut up now._

_Oh yeah, just a little reminder that CH owns SVM. I just like to play in her sandbox sometimes.  
_

Chapter 14

When Craig finally pulled his spent and sweaty body off of me, the sun was beginning it's descent in the western sky. There was, perhaps, another hour and a half of sunlight left. For the briefest of moments hope flared in me that he wouldn't drag me off again. That Eric might have the opportunity to find me. Then my shame came crashing through and I was not sure I wanted him to. I didn't want him to find me, to see me, like this.

"He won't see you until I'm ready for him to see you Sookie." He said as he ran his hand up my side, caressing my breast.

I flinched.

Craig chuckled.

"For now, I just have to let him _think_ he's getting close to you. I can't have him giving up the chase now can I?"

I didn't say a word. What was there to say that he couldn't tear from my head? I tried to push away any thoughts about Eric. Craig wouldn't have it.

_You can't run from me Sookie_. His voice slithered through my mind as he got up from the mattress on the floor. He walked over to where the bathtub was, wet a washcloth and began to wipe himself down.

But I had run from him. There was one little gem I had managed to keep to myself, and that was my brick wall.

I didn't understand everything that was happening to me. I didn't understand who was calling the shots and, I didn't understand what it was about me that abusive men like Uncle Bartlett and Craig found so appealing, but I did understand that this was about hurting Eric.

And that was something I was not going to let happen. I was not going to let him feel the things Craig was doing to me. I would protect him for as long as I could because that is what I do for my friends, for my family, for the people . . . I love.

The realization crashed over me with such intensity that I began sobbing. Blessedly, Craig was too wrapped up in his preparations to bother probing my mind. He assumed my cries were, once again, a result of his attentions.

I heard Craig sigh, and stifled my sobs. I learned quickly, and harshly, earlier that Craig did not "appreciate" my tears, when he was "seeing to my needs," as he put it. I tried sitting up, pulling the single sheet on the mattress up to me, and whimpered in pain.

I was in a lot of pain. Even after Bill's attack in the trunk of the car, I had not been in so much pain. I pressed a corner of the sheet between my legs, trying to staunch the blood. Craig tossed another washcloth to me.

"Clean yourself."

Honestly, I preferred this cold attitude from him. It was crueler when he was pretending to be kind, when he spoke soothing words as he forced himself into me without preparation or, as he forced orgasms from me by raping my mind as well. I felt the bile rise in my throat at the thought.

I wiped myself down with the washcloth, flinching as I tried to clean between my legs. I knew that no matter how much I wiped myself, I'd never be clean again. I could still smell him on me. Feel his weight on me. I could feel the warm, slick sensation of his tongue as he ran it across my cheek. I shuddered.

Craig threw some clothes at me. "Get dressed."

I dressed quickly, glad to have something covering me once again. My fingers shook as I buttoned the jeans, but I made them cooperate. I stood as straight as I could, and tried to push what I was feeling away, locking it up in one of the little rooms in my mind. I could feel the numbness settle on me.

Craig looked at me, and I thought I saw the corner of his mouth twitch in a slight smile, but he said nothing.

He walked over to me with a syringe. I started to back away.

_Don't move._ He commanded in my head. _I don't want to have to hurt you again._ And I felt the slightest tingle of pain begin in my legs. I froze in my place.

He reached my side, pulled the collar of my shirt down, wiped my shoulder with an alcohol swab, and injected me.

"What was that?" I asked, proud that my voice wasn't shaking too badly.

"Just a little something to make sure your fairy friends won't be bothering us."

Then he took me by the arm and led me outside. I took a deep breath of the fresh air, grateful for the momentary relief from Craig's stench. I looked around and saw that we were at what appeared to be a mine. A little bit in the distance, I saw a small plane on a private air strip and my heart sank.

I looked up in the sky and noticed that the sun was slipping closer to the horizon. Hope flared slightly once again. I looked and realized that Craig was busy talking to some armed guards, so I chanced a look at my brick wall, and the single hole there. I probed the bond and, even though it was faint, I could tell that he was close. Very close in fact, and getting closer.

That was puzzling. It was still daylight. How could he be on the move? My thoughts were interrupted as Craig roughly grabbed my arm and began walking me toward the plane. I tried to slow my steps, but he continued to push me forward and, I was too tired and sore to fight back. All I could do now was hope to hang on and stay alive.

The sun slipped down below the horizon, and I saw an SUV speed up to the mine as Craig propelled me forward and then I felt . . . him. I spun around, breaking Craig's grasp as I watched Eric burst from the rear of the truck, which had blackened windows, followed closely by Bill, Pam, Sam, Calvin, Alcide and two other vampires I did not recognize, but I only had eyes for Eric.

I heard Eric scream my name and instinctively took a step toward him. He was here! He came for me. I took another step, and then watched as the entire group was surrounded and attacked. At some point the shifters had changed, and the battle was joined.

Watching Eric fight was a thing of beauty. He had such grace in his movements, but I could feel nothing but his pull towards me. One of the other vampires, the male I did not know, was fighting with nearly equal grace. Pam was neat and effective, while Bill was nothing if not thorough. They may not have had Eric's grace, but they were nearly as deadly.

I saw a wolf, that I thought was Alcide, clash with another wolf. Clearly Craig, and his puppeteer, had Weres in their employ. Calvin, in his panther form, was comfortably stalking the snipers in the trees, while Sam's lion went head to head with another wolf.

I had not even sensed all those armed men and shifters when I came out. Craig had my mind so turned about and rattled, that I was hardly a shadow of myself.

I saw the other vampire, who I suddenly recognized as Sandy, standing by the car, apparently guarding it or, rather, guarding the driver. I reached out and recognized Amelia, and felt a sob escape my throat. She was working on a spell of some kind, but I could not make it out.

Behind me I heard the engines of the plane roar to life. I watched as Eric dispatched another guard, breaking free of the circle, and headed toward me. I felt myself take another step toward him as I heard him scream my name once more.

Then I heard another voice, in my head. The one I had grown to hate and fear like nothing else. The one that caused me to tremble in my skin. I listened to the voice, gazed once more into the beautiful eyes of my Viking as he ran towards me, then turned and boarded the plane with Craig.


	16. Chapter 16

_A/N: I think I must be really determined to finish this story, or the girls over at the Sookieverse glamored me into putting up another chapter. Yeah, that's it . . . glamor. Well here you go. Oh, Linds, Rox, cat . . . remember when I asked if you wanted to know why Sookie got on the plane? Oops. Not this time! Sorry! However, you will get another answer._

_I want to mention how amazed I am at the response to this story. I know that not everyone who reads it writes a review. I get that, I really do. What amazes me are the number of people who have tagged this as a favorite story. I'm humbled and awed by all of you._

_Once again my thanks go out to Kristin for being such a great beta and ego stroker. Thanks to the crew at the wiki and Sookieverse for your support. Enjoy.  
_

Chapter 15

"SOOKIE!" Her name tore from my throat as her eyes made contact with me. I saw her break away from Sutherfield's grasp and take two steps toward me. Then we were under attack.

Shots were being fired and humans were attacking us with non-silver weapons. It made no sense. Nothing used was lethal to the vampires, although a bullet would certainly take out one of the shifters. I was slicing through them effortlessly. A couple of them were strong, like bitten weres who could not change without the moon, but mostly Bill, Pam, Ian and I, were busy fighting a slew of poorly armed humans.

Out of the corner of my eye, I saw Alcide and Sam taking on the few fully changed Weres that were present and, saw Calvin's panther stalking the trees. I heard occasional screams, and noticed the frequency of the bullets markedly decrease. However, I did not spend too much time considering the make up of the attack.

My entire being was focused on one thing and one thing alone . . . her. I had to get through them to get to her. My sword was a blur as I moved through my forms, severing limbs, bisecting bodies, and cleaving through midsections. Ian was at my back the entire time.

I heard the roar of a jet engine. Another man jumped in front of me, and as I flew past him, my left hand pushed him into the sword held in my right, and I sliced clean through him. Then I was through, and there was no one between me and her.

I watched her take another hesitant step toward me and, I could see the pain in her steps. "SOOKIE!" I screamed once more. As I began to run to her, our eyes met, and oh the pain and love in her eyes. Then she turned, and once again, boarded the plane with Sutherfield. "NO!"

I ran at vampire speed, but the distance was too far, and once again, I was no match for a jet engine. As I watched the plane disappear, I realized that my blood was still too heated. The fight, seeing her, and losing her again, it was too much. I needed to kill someone, something . . . anything. I needed to regain control somehow.

I turned and looked back at the group. I saw Calvin and Sam wisely holding Amelia back, near the tree line and away from the vampires. They were draining the bodies. It would not do for the witch to inadvertently get between one of them and their meal.

I spotted movement to my right, and in an instant, I cornered two more armed men, who were cowering behind some mining equipment. One wisely dropped his weapon, the other fired at me in a panic. The bullet hit my shoulder, ironically, in nearly the same spot as the one Sookie sucked out for me in Dallas. It did not stop me as I grabbed him to me and sunk my fangs into his neck. I could feel the bullet work its way out as I drank deeply. I felt the man struggling against me, pleading with me for his life, but I just kept drinking until I felt his struggles cease, and could no longer hear his heart.

I dropped him where I stood and turned my eyes to the other man, who still cowered, crossing himself and praying to the Virgin Mary.

"Olhe-me." I commanded him in Portuguese. _Look at me_. It took only a touch of glamour, and he was spilling every scrap of information he knew. When I threw his drained body down to join his friend, I turned to find Pam behind me. She looked pink and flushed from feeding, as I am sure I did.

"We were very close Eric."

"They knew we were coming."

She looked up at me, and for the tiniest, most fleeting of moments, I saw sympathy pass across her face. It was gone in an instant and, in its place, was the unruffled, calm mask of my child. It was a measure of how much she cared, both for me and Sookie, that she allowed me to see it at all.

While the rest of the group did "clean up", I went inside the building to investigate. I smelled it before I even entered the room. I knew what I would find. I had felt it through the bond, but being there, and smelling it . . . seeing her blood on the mattress . . . I snapped. I tore the room apart, roaring like a beast, but I could not get that smell out of my head. Her blood, her sweat, her tears, her juices, mingled with his, all tinged with the scent of terror. I turned to find Calvin standing by the door, sniffing the air.

"And the humans think _we're_ the animals." He said. "No one in my pack would ever do something like this to another person."

It was a measure of my despair, that I did not hear him approach and a measure of my gratitude to him, that I did not kill him where he stood for witnessing my complete loss of control. Also, there was something about this were, that despite all our prejudices, I simply liked. He was lucky.

When all the bodies were disposed of, we drove back to the capital city and regrouped at our hotel. Alcide could not stop pacing. Weres are notorious for their post battle needs, and the young pack leader was at a decided disadvantage being this far from his pack's females. I could smell the frustration coming off of him in waves. If I was not so grateful for his help and his dedication to the safety of my bonded, I would have snapped at him already.

When everyone was settled, I relayed the information I had gotten out of the human, which was not much. However, he did provide me with information he did not even know was important.

"They knew we were coming."

"Well of course they knew we were coming. Sutherfield has to know we're going to keep coming after them." Alcide snapped.

I growled low in my chest. I was grateful for his help, but he would keep a civil tongue or I would rip it from him. At least he had the decency to look abashed.

"I mean, they knew exactly when we were coming." I paused for a moment as everyone in the room digested the information. Then I noticed several sets of eyes turn to Sandy and Ian. I quickly dispelled that notion.

"The guard I questioned told me they received a phone call, while it was still daylight," I emphasized that point, "that told them how long they had until we arrived."

I turned to Amelia. "When did you last speak with de Castro's people?"

She blanched slightly. "I spoke to one of his secretaries while we were on our way up. Maybe an hour before we got there. Shit!"

"The king has a security breach." Sandy stated, and immediately stepped to the side and called de Castro. When she was finished, she turned back to us. "He is starting the investigation as we speak. I'm sure we will know who it is soon. Then, perhaps we can get some answers."

I nodded at her, and then turned to Amelia. "Were you successful?"

She looked . . . excited. "I was not able to do anything with Sookie. I don't know who they got to magic her, but she is so shielded it isn't funny. However, I was able to put . . . well, for lack of a better explanation, a magical tracking device on the plane. For once, we'll know where they are when they land and, we won't have to wait for nightfall to get moving!"

"Good. He's done chasing the light."

Amelia and the shifters all looked at me, puzzled.

"He's been using the different time zones to gain an advantage. He's been using the light against us, against me. He knows I can't track her during the day. They timed when they took her. Calculated flight times, time zones, and knew exactly when the sun rose and set here and in Caracas. This time, it won't help."

I looked at Sandy. "If the king has not figured out who the spy is, we cannot tell anyone else with him about this. No reports to anyone but him. I don't want them running again. Not now that we have an advantage."


	17. Chapter 17

_A/N: I was tempted to wait a few days to post this, until the post-DAG insanity subsided, but I've been on a writing groove and just want to move it along. To my darlings here at the Sookieverse, your answer awaits you. Once again, big thanks to Kristin for her beta work, and to all the ladies and gents here and at the LTAE thread over at the wiki. Y'all know who you are! Thanks again to all of you for your wonderful reviews and pm's, and to those of you who have been putting this story on alert. Wow! _

_Oh, for those who wondered last chapter, I did in fact research (heavily) before writing this to figure out how to have them legitimately jumping time zones. I was trying to make sure that Craig always took off around dusk, and did his dirty work during the day, when Eric could not get to them. To make sure Eric could not track them until they were leaving. I also had to extrapolate travel times from place to place for private jets, so Expedia became a good friend as I looked up flights between the various cities, and then shortened them because these guys wouldn't be having layovers. I've got a current world time zone map tab and sunrise/sunset calculator open in tabs for months now._

_As for those who asked about the explanation of the title in the last chapter . . . yes, that is part of the explanation but, surprisingly, not where I originally began it . . . all will be revealed eventually . . . I hope.  
_

_Just in case anyone needed a reminder, this is Charlaine Harris' world, I just like to play in her sandbox sometimes._

Chapter 16

Tears were streaming down my face as I stepped aboard the plane, but I wouldn't give Craig the satisfaction of hearing my sobs.

The look in Eric's eyes when he realized I was turning away was unbearable. The pain and confusion evident there, clawed at my heart. My heart. The one thing I had denied him for so long; the one thing I probably would not live long enough to tell him belonged to him.

But the voice, that voice that haunted me day and night, I could not let that voice near him. It wasn't me he was threatening every time he made me step on a plane; it was Eric. Craig claimed that his abilities worked on vampires and when I was being recalcitrant, he swore he would do to Eric what he did to me.

I didn't know if he was telling the truth, but it was a risk I was not willing to take. No. Eric had to take Craig unawares, or not at all. I could not risk a confrontation between them. If I had to suffer this, so be it, but I would not allow Eric to suffer, or worse. I know Eric would survive my death. I'm not sure I would survive his. So I willingly tore my eyes from my Viking and boarded the plane.

I sat down, and Craig sat across from me. I closed my eyes and pretended to sleep, but after a few minutes, he spoke to me.

"I know you're awake Sookie."

I sighed and opened my eyes. Craig's impossibly green eyes were staring back at me. I regarded him silently, wondering how someone so beautiful on the outside could be so awful inside. I knew it was a shallow thought really, since it's not like ugly people are ugly inside, but still, I couldn't help but wonder what God was thinking by putting something so evil inside such an enticing package.

"You look like you have a question Sookie."

"Don't you already know what it is?"

"It does get tiring digging through there you know. What do you want to know?"

"I want to know why . . . why me? I know you won't tell me who hired you or why they are doing this to Eric, but you said you wanted me. Why?"

I expected him to laugh and make fun of me. I expected lewd comments. I did not expect what happened next.

"Because I'm tired of being alone." He said. The next minute I was bombarded by images of a sad and lonely child, and then they were replaced by horrifying images of that child being abused over and over. It was a flash of images; loaded and intense, and I could not possibly separate out each incident, but the effect remained the same.

Craig had explained himself to me. This was how he came to be who he is. Like me, he lost his parents. Like me, he was raised by his grandmother, only his grandmother had been a cruel woman. Where mine showed me unconditional love, kindness and support, his tormented his body, mind and soul.

I shuddered and flinched as the images played through my mind. Even though I hated Craig for all he had done to me and Eric, a small part of me pitied him, and mourned for the man he might have otherwise become.

As Craig's story unfolded in my mind, I saw myself as he saw me, and I understood. I was someone like him, another freak. We stood out and apart. We were opposite sides of the same coin. I, but for the grace of god, could have been him; and he, escaping god's grace, became what he was. He saw me as his other half, and had determined I was destined to be his.

I leaned forward, touched his hand, and said, "I'm sorry."

He visibly flinched at my touch and growled back, "don't you fucking pity me. Don't you ever fucking pity me." Then, as if to make a point, he began to tear through my mind, dredging up my most painful memories and forcing me to relive them; Uncle Bartlett, children teasing me at school, Bill's betrayals, and, his unwitting rape of me in the trunk of the car, Gran's murder, the loss of Eric after he recovered his memories, my terror at Rhodes, and on and on.

I panicked and ran. I ran back to my secret room. I ran to where I thought he could not follow. I ran toward Eric; toward love and calm and no more pain. It was my biggest mistake and greatest blessing.

This time, I did not fool Craig, and this time he found me. He realized where I was, and what it was, and he went crazy. He began to tear down the wall I'd built to protect Eric, and for the first time since it all began, I really fought back. I had to stop him. I had to protect Eric. I lashed out at Craig, but he was too powerful for me. In the end, it was a losing battle, the wall came crumbling down, and I was punished.

I was punished a lot.

But as I passed out and slipped into the painless bliss of oblivion, I felt myself smile, because I had gotten a glimpse into his head and, I learned a few things.


	18. Chapter 18

_A/N: Thank you all for your wonderful reviews and support. Oh, and a special shout out to Dee MM, who is a resident of the state of Minas Gerais, Brazil. How crazy is that?! I hope you were all satisfied with why she got on the plane. I love the total lack of sympathy for Craig! You guys are beautifully, cruelly, awesomely pitiless! LOL!_

_On a completely unrelated note . . . *squick* Seeing someone you personally know doing a Cialis commercial is just . . . wrong! GAH! *bleaches her eyes*  
_

_Once again my thanks and love go out to Kristin for beta-ing, the girls of the Sookieverse, and the folks at the wiki. I hope you guys enjoy the next chapter.  
_

Chapter 17

We all agreed that as soon as the plane landed, Amelia would coordinate getting everyone, including the vampires in their coffins, aboard the plane and to the wherever Sookie was.

Everyone stood up and, Amelia and the two-natured were perusing the room service menu. No one, it seemed, wished to actually leave the group. Sandy and Bill decided to go out to find their meals, while Ian, Pam and I chose bottled blood from the room service menu.

I turned to the bathroom, intending to take a shower, when I was slammed by a wave of pain and emotion across the bond. Clearly the block had failed and, what Sookie was experiencing brought me to my knees with its suddenness and ferocity.

"Herre gud. Nej! Låt det inte hända. Hur ska hon stå ut? Min älskade! Jag måste hitta dig. Håll ut! Bara lite till. Håll ut. Jag kommer min älskade, jag kommer."

When my eyes refocused, I realized the room was silent and Pam was at my side. Amelia was on one of the sofas, crying and being comforted by Sam. Calvin and Alcide stood off to the side, their faces clearly showing what everyone was thinking: _if it could do this to Eric, what is happening to her?_

Even with my thousand or so years on this earth, I could not fathom what was happening to her. All I knew was that her terror and pain were so palpable across the bond, that I could taste her fear in my mouth. I have inflicted great pain in my many years, on both humans and vampires alike. I have also experienced great pain, both as a human and vampire. I am not sure any of it can compare. I have no idea how she is still alive. For now though, she is not conscious and for that, I'm eternally grateful.

I shrugged Pam off, instructing her to see to everyone's dinner. Personally, I no longer had a taste for anything. A moment later I felt Ian's presence at my side. He said nothing. After a few minutes I looked at him, and he indicated the balcony outside. I nodded and we stepped out.

After another minute of silence, he spoke.

"I was born in Scotland in the year of our lord one thousand eighty. When I was seventeen, I fought with William Wallace at the Battle of Stirling Bridge. War was all I knew and, at thirty four, I fought with Robert the Bruce at the Battle of Bannockburn. For seventeen years I knew nothing but war and blood. What I knew of the fairer sex I learned from whores.

Three nights after Bannockburn, as we all celebrated the defeat of England, I was turned. My maker needed a warrior, someone to protect her. She was strong of course, but at that time, a woman traveling alone . . . well, I'm sure you understand. Lillith taught me many things, both as a woman and a vampire and, I stayed with her for thirty years until she released me to find my own way. She was not a cruel maker as some are, but we did not share the obvious regard for each other that you and your child do. She was finally killed a few decades later.

I returned to Scotland in 1603, in time for the coronation of James VI. While celebrating in one of the castles, I met Ciara and, she was as beautifully dark as her name. Her hair was as black as the night, as were her eyes, but they sparkled with life. I was drawn to her like no other human I had ever met.

When I approached her later that night, she knew what I was, but she was not afraid of me. She spoke to me like a man, not a monster and, I found I had no desire to glamour her or, take from her. I wanted her to want me of her own volition. I spent the next two months courting a human woman. Every dawn as I fell asleep, I swore to myself that that night I would do as my nature demanded, and every night she enthralled me again.

Finally, she was mine and she was glorious. To lie with her was to scale the heights of heaven itself and to taste her was to sip from the Lord's cup. The first time she drank from me was when a bout of plague swept through the countryside. I would not let her die. The next time was after she was trampled by a horse at market. I killed the careless nobleman who did it, but without my blood she would have died.

I knew what the next time would mean. I discussed it with her. She agreed to become bonded to me, on the condition that we marry first. I could deny her nothing. We were married and, that night we bonded, exchanging blood for the third time.

We spent the next fifteen years in happiness. I showed her the world and we traveled from country to country. In September 1618, we were in Plurs, Switzerland. It was famous then for the silk trade and Ciara needed new dresses. On September 4th, Mount Conto partially collapsed causing a slide that buried the town. At least fifteen hundred were killed. Some estimates are higher. I left her in our room, and went to feed off the shepherds in the mountains.

I raced back to find her. I dug in the dirt the entire night. I could feel her terror as she slowly suffocated under the weight of that mountain. I felt her pain as her bones cracked under the weight of the boulders. I felt her life slowly ebb away as I dug helplessly to reach her until there was nothing left; nothing to even guide me to where she lay. I never even found her body. It is something I would not wish on anyone.

For the next five years I roamed the earth as Death itself. I fed and I fucked, but I took pleasure in neither. I took pleasure in nothing. Everything reminded me of her. I even contemplated meeting the sun. I ended up in Asia and, over time, began to study the various philosophies. There I found something to live for again. I came to believe, as many do, that we are all reborn. So, now I have purpose. I walk this earth to find Ciara reborn. I do not know if it is true or, if I will ever find her again but, it gives me a reason to seek the dark every dawn and, for now, that is enough."

We older vampires do not often share the details of our lives. We tend to guard such information jealously. We rarely discuss any emotional attachments. They are seen as a sign of weakness. Ian's willingness to share this with me is monumental and, only confirms the instant bond of brotherhood I shared with him just a few days ago. He understands as no one else here does.

"Thank you."

It was all I could say. What else is there?

A few hours later as the dawn approached, the others were all in their coffins or beds already. I could feel the pull of the sun, but I was resisting it. Finally, as I lay down and pulled the lid shut, I heard Amelia.

"London. We're going to London."

_A/N: I need to give a special, super big shout out to Kamikaze Parrot, my lovely Swedish parrot for her translation of Eric's outburst. Here's the English: Dear god! No! Do not let this happen. How can she stand it? My love! I will find you. Please hold on. Just a little longer. Hold on. I'm coming my love. I'm coming._


	19. Chapter 19

_A/N: Sorry about the long delay, but I've been sidetracked by the Professor, and by the post-DAG world. I finally got back to writing this story last night, and since I got a new chapter off to my beta (the wonderful Kristin) I figured it was time to post a new chapter for you._

_I love all the reviews, pm's and comments you all have regarding this fic. I know Craig is an unpleasant son of a bitch, and I'm sorry to say, that hasn't changed. I want to thank Indigobuni for making me the coolest banner for this story, and as soon as I figure out how, I'll put it up somewhere! Yes, I'm a veritable Luddite when it comes to this stuff._

_A big thanks to everyone in the Eric/Alex thread on the TB Wiki, and to the girls of the Sookieverse, for all their support and encouragement.  
_

Chapter 18

When I woke up, I was surprised to discover that I was in an actual bed, in a beautiful room. I was sure I was dreaming, until I realized Craig was lying next to me, his arm slung over my waist as if it were the most natural thing in the world.

I felt my skin crawl at this intimacy, and pondered whether I could manage to sneak out of the room without waking him up. It was a measure of how close I was to being completely broken, that I actually had to take the time to consider whether or not to attempt an escape. I did not like that realization in the least. In the end, Craig decided for me.

Without lifting his head, or even looking at me, he said, "don't do it Sookie."

I was no longer surprised. I lifted my arm, and immediately recognized the soreness from another injection. For the life of me, I couldn't figure out what he was shooting me up with to keep Claudine away. I could only assume it was something magical.

I looked down at my body and saw that I was wearing a beautiful little nightie, which I might have enjoyed wearing for Eric, but just then, seeing it made me want to throw up. In addition, I knew I was unconscious when he dressed me in it, and I could just imagine the way his hands moved over my body as he did so. I couldn't suppress an involuntary shudder at the thought, and then stilled my body so as not wake Craig.

I lay there, not moving, while Craig continued to sleep or pretend to sleep. I couldn't tell anymore, but I decided to try something. I reached out very softly to his mind. I came up on his block, but I didn't push. I didn't want him to know I was there. I ghosted around until I found it, the thing I'd seen before I lost consciousness; a crack in the block, and like a handful of sand I trickled through.

I didn't poke around much. I didn't want to alert him to my presence. I just wanted to watch. I knew it was just a matter of time before he began to use his abilities on me, and I wanted to see it. I wanted to learn. I needed to learn. It was the only way I was going to survive.

I could feel Eric in my mind and my heart. His life was buzzing to me across the bond, a comforting hum even in his sleep. He was getting closer, but now that I knew who else was with him, I understood how.

I was more than amazed to see how many people came with Eric. It was one thing to see Pam and Bill with him, even Sandy as I knew I had the king's protection, but to know that Eric was willing to put aside his pride and work with Sam, Alcide and Calvin astounded me. Seeing Amelia there nearly broke my heart. She may be a powerful witch, but she is still very human, and very fragile. I could never live with myself if something happened to her.

After a proper breakfast, during which Craig said nothing and I began to hope that our exchange on the plane perhaps changed things, it began.

It felt like my brain had been cut. One part, the larger one, was under Craig's control. The other, a small, little part, was the part I managed to maintain. That part was in his head, hiding and watching, and it was such a strange sensation.

On the one hand most of my mind, and my body, were reacting to what Craig was doing to me. On the other, I felt detached and clinical, committing his actions to memory so I could learn from them.

The sun set and I heard the door open. My eyes were closed and my breathing was ragged. I heard Craig speak to someone, and for the first time since this began, I heard a twinge of uncertainty, or possibly fear, in his voice.

"Master." He said with reverence.

_Master?_ I opened my eyes and found myself staring at a large vampire. His hair was black, straight and thick, and fell to his waist. His eyes were brown, but they burned with the fire of someone verging on madness, and they stared at me as if I were nothing but a speck of dirt. His skin was somewhat dark, but in the fading light I could not exactly place him.

"Is this her?" He asked.

"It is."

"Show me." He commanded as he took a seat in the corner of the room.

I felt the tears begin to leak out of the corners of my eyes, while in my mind's eye I watched exactly what Craig did. I watched as he skillfully rewired my head so that pain and pleasure were twisted about and reversed. I watched as he took a knife to my arm, drew a deep cut, and elicited a deep, pleasurable moan from me. A sob tore from me as I realized what he was doing, but I held my ground and refused to run. I had to stay, and watch and learn.

I screamed as he moved his hands between my legs, and with the gentlest of touches sent searing pain through me. On and on he played this game, alternating between pleasure and pain, cuts and bruises eliciting unbearable pleasure, while soft touches and caresses ripped the screams from my throat. While my body was brought to its limits, however, I held fast and learned. I reached down and drew on a strength I didn't know I had. I just knew that I had to if I was going to survive this.

"Stop!" The vampire rose and walked over to me. He looked down at me and asked, "What is he feeling? I know you can feel him! Tell me. I want to know his suffering!" The look in his eyes was manic. Who was he? What had Eric done to him? His hatred of Eric was palpable.

When I refused to answer, I felt tendrils of power coming at me, but I heard Craig say, "Glamour does not work on her."

I clamped my mouth shut. I wasn't going to tell him anything about Eric. I wasn't going to tell him anything about the bond, or what I felt through it right at that moment.

_A/N: Oh no! What was she feeling? Bwahahahaha! I know, I'm evil, but Craig is soooo much worse._

_ETA: I put the link to the banner in my profile now you'll see how I picture Craig.  
_


	20. Chapter 20

_A/N: Okay, I finally got back to working on this. I know, I know, blame the Professor. Hell, half of you told me you were perfectly fine with the delay as long as it was because of **him**. LOL! You will have to bear with me a bit, because some of these upcoming chapters have been hard to write, and are going to be hard to write, so it may take bit longer to get them out to you. Then again, if the Muses decide to be really nice to me, I may get some divine inspiration and tear through them . . . yeah right! Well, I suppose it can't hurt to hope, so maybe you guys could like try to placate them? I dunno, leave them offerings or something? Just please, please do a better job than Eric did with the maenad and the bull, okay? _

_I hope everyone had a lovely holiday weekend. We, unfortunately, have the stomach flu running through our household, and I spent all day in bed yesterday. Of course, that's how chapter 21 got written, so if you hate it later, you can blame the flu!  
_

_Once again I must thank my awesome Betas, Kristin and Gallathea. Honestly, they keep you all from wanting to tear your hair out. Of course, it is quite possibly they will be bald by the time I'm through with this. *wonders if she should be buying Rogaine or something*  
_

Chapter 19

True to her word, Amelia had us on the plane as soon as she knew where we were going. The little witch, for all her attempts to distance herself from him, was definitely her father's child. She knew how to make things happen, which was critical, since we could no longer rely on Felipe's people to make those arrangements.

Even Felipe, who was livid to discover that they had not ferreted out everyone involved with Sutherfield, insisted on utter secrecy. They discovered their leak, a bribed employee who had no idea of exactly what she was involved in, but Felipe did not want to risk the possibility that this conspiracy had even more players. He personally contacted a friend, outside of his organization, who would see to our needs when we arrived in London.

Amelia had the plane ready at the airfield Sutherfield used. All we needed was the location. Sookie was really something else. I realized, as I studied all the people in the room while we waited, that she had an uncanny ability to draw people to her. Unfortunately, it often drew danger as well, but the loyalty and ferocity her friends exhibited toward her was staggering.

I stayed with Amelia until the sun threatened the horizon. All the others had gone to their beds or coffins. I watched as she prepared her spell. Finally, I could no longer resist it, and went to my day time rest, and as I drifted off, I heard her words.

Therefore, when I awoke, a small part of me was quite aware that I was aboard the jet, racing toward London, and that it was still daylight and unsafe to leap out. Another part of me was desperate to do just that. Her pain was unbearable. That it could once again, wake me from my daytime rest was proof enough, but to feel it? There was nothing I would not do, nothing I would not give, to change places with her.

I could endure this. I would endure this. For her.

I tried to absorb what she was feeling, to draw it from her into myself. I did not know if it worked, but perhaps? Maybe I felt a slight reduction in her suffering. I sent her strength. I do not know if you can send strength across the bond. It is not an emotion, but I sent the feeling of it to her, and she endured.

After several hours, I called to Amelia and asked her to make sure the windows shades were closed. The sun had not fully gone down, but it was enough for me to rise safely, if the windows were covered.

I looked at my watch. The sun would be setting in London shortly, although we still had a couple hours of flight time. Alcide and Sam had both fallen asleep, but Calvin was digging around the galley for something to eat.

I looked at Amelia and said, "You should rest as well."

"How do you know I haven't?" She replied.

"For one thing, you look like hell." She raised an eyebrow at me, but I continued, "For another, I heard you crying."

She looked at me as realization dawned on her. "You've been awake this whole time?"

"No. Not in the beginning." I looked away, knowing I would see horror in her eyes. She understood what my wakefulness meant.

"How is she bearing this, Eric?" She asked.

I could not answer her. I did not know how.

A little while later, I found myself thinking that if I were human, I would want to throw up. The feelings coursing through her were horrible, and left me perplexed. It was alternating bouts of pleasure and pain, but it felt _wrong_ somehow and it was relentless.

As we flew into darkness, one by one, the other vampires rose. No one spoke as the tension of what was facing us grew. We had no idea what to expect, or who else we would find. Based on the events in Brazil, we had to assume that we would be heading into another battle. I could feel the excitement and anticipation humming around the vampires. Battles meant blood, and just thinking about it tended to excite us.

When we landed, there were cars waiting for us, along with some human personnel. The door of one of the cars opened, and two vampires emerged. I approached the older one.

"You must be Northman." He stated. "Alair Barton. I am the sheriff of London and its surrounding area. Felipe has filled me in on the situation. I am at your service."

He indicated the cars, and as we started getting settled, his eyes found Ian. "Holcroft!"

Ian nodded his head, "Barton."

"You always were ready to join a cause."

"We are who we are." Ian replied with a shrug.

I made a noise, and everyone resumed their preparations. She was so close now. I could feel her life thrumming through the bond, along with her suffering. It took everything I had to maintain a mask of calm.

In no time we were racing to her. Barton looked at me as I guided his driver to her location.

"She's had your blood?"

"We are bound."

Barton was surprised. "Yet she has the king's formal protection? And she is a human?"

"She is . . . unique." Unique, and beyond price.

We pulled up to the gates of a small estate, and Barton hissed.

"Do you know this place?" I asked.

"I know its owner. He is a vampire, but he has not lived here long. He only recently sought my permission to move here. He also came with a lot of cash. I always perform background checks on new arrivals, and I remember thinking it was interesting that he did not have everything tied up in various off-shore or Swiss accounts, but it did not seem to pose a threat at the time."

I clenched my teeth as I felt another wave of pain and terror through the bond. Through my teeth I hissed, "What is his name?"

"An unusual one, Hot Rain."

If I had breath, it would have been knocked out of me. Hot Rain. Of all the people on my lists, I did not even consider him. I should have. He had already sent someone against Sookie once, but I foolishly believed that my additional payment to him, and my talk with his sheriff, had assuaged him.

Even more galling was the realization that some of the cash he arrived with, even if it was a small part of what was clearly an enormous outlay of cash being used to fund this operation, was the money I had paid him for Longshadow's death.

"You know him." It was not a question.

"Yes."

"I cannot enter with you and get more personally involved; however, I have no issue with your mission here. You have my permission to do what is necessary to rescue your bonded. I will not have my area used by strangers to engage in conspiracies against others with whom I am aligned."

We were all out of the cars now, and armed. Calvin, Sam and Alcide had shifted, and Amelia stood by Barton. She was angry that we were forcing her to stay outside, but although a powerful witch, she would only be in the way during a battle.

The plan was for Pam, Ian, and I to form a wedge, and punch through the opposition. Bill, Sandy, Sam, Alcide and Calvin, were to keep them off our backs, and hopefully eradicate them altogether. The important part was making sure that the three of us got through to the house, so we could get to Sookie. If we were caught up too long outside, it would give Sutherfield too much time to drag her off again, despite our surprise attack. I was not going to let that happen.

I stepped forward and ripped the gate from its hinges, and ran in.

The melee was brutal. These were not armed peasants in the hills of Brazil, being forced to fight or lose their families. These guards were well trained, there were Weres, and a couple of them were vampires. I saw that we were taking casualties. Calvin was circling one of the vampires, but he was limping and I saw Alcide take a shot. Bill was nowhere to be seen, and I could only hope he was not out of the fight yet. Ian, however, was still at my back and I could sense Pam close by.

The fighting was close, but Ian wielded his sword as though it was an extension of his arm, and I had trained Pam myself, although she still managed to surprise me from time to time with the ingenuity of some of her attacks. She was an opportunistic fighter, and I watched as she engaged in a fight with a first opponent. Then, an attacker came at her from the rear, but she feigned ignorance, and at the last millisecond, feinted and allowed the second attacker to decapitate the first, before grabbing his head, twisting it, and breaking his neck. Soon, however, I was inside and ceased thoughts of the battle in the courtyard. That was for the rest of our group now. I was flanked closely by Pam and Ian, and I ran toward _her_. I could feel her so closely now. The pain had stopped. Now I felt determination, and something else . . . warning? She was warning me, ever selfless. I slowed down, came to a door and listened.

She was in there. I could feel her, and I could hear him. He was yelling at her.

"I want to know his suffering!"

I inhaled. I could only pick up three scents: Sookie's, Sutherfield's, and Hot Rain's. I looked at Pam and Ian, and then we burst through the door.

_A/N: ARGH! Yes, I know, how could I possibly stop there?! Sorry, but the next bit needed to come from Sookie. Really, she told me so._

_So, Eric trained Pam, and Ian obviously has some mad skills. I trained in martial arts (Krav Maga) for years, but now I'm a totally out of shape mother of three. One day, I hope to kick ass again. What is your preferred method of self-defense?  
_


	21. Chapter 21

_A/N: Well, I guess those offerings to the Muses worked 'cause I managed to get another chapter written quickly. Well, it was either that or the threats I was getting for ending the last chapter where I did. You can thank the ladies at the Sookieverse for getting this out tonight. I was feeling a little peevish, and thinking I may hold out a few more days, but between the wine and the pressure from those ladies, I succumbed. So give them your thanks._

_Once again my deepest thanks go out to Kristin and Gallathea, the most incredible betas a girl could have. Oh, and Galla, you were so right about that emotional bone._

_I had a good question from FaithfulFanFictionFan: **"so the obvious is why didn't Hot Rain and why didn't Sutherfield pick on...the noise (since Hot Rain is vampire) and Sutherfield (since he can hear Sookie's thoughts/warnings to Eric)...hm?"**_

_Great question, FFFF! First of all, Sookie was working really hard to block what was happening with Eric, and Craig was working really hard on torturing her, so he wasn't picking up anything from her. However, I did already plan for that somewhat as you will read below. As for Hot Rain . . . the estate is large, and the fighting was going on out front. That said, I'd like to think it was because he was so pushed over the edge, and so concentrated on what was happening with Sookie, so utterly consumed with his vengeance, it made him sloppy and he just wasn't paying enough attention._

_I hope that answers things for you. I try to pay attention to detail, so I enjoy it when readers are observant like that!_

_Oh, and I think this is my longest chapter, ever, in any fic. I think. So no more complaints about how short it is! LOL!  
_

_I have to say, I was surprised at how few of you seem to have any self-defense techniques! Ladies, (and any gents reading this) please get yourselves to a self-defense course! Horrible things don't just happen to Sookie, they happen in the real world. Give yourself a fighting chance. *steps off soapbox*_

_And without further ado . . .  
_

Chapter 20

I started to feel a rising panic. I knew Eric was just outside the door, and terror clutched at me with the thought . . . no, certainty, of what Craig could do to him. I now knew that Craig was not bluffing when he said he could read and affect vampires. I saw it in his mind, and felt the panic rise in my gut.

At the last second, Craig's head swung to the door. It burst open, and I had a moment to see Eric, Pam, and that other vampire I didn't know. Then . . . silence. You know how in a movie, sometimes the action sequences are in slow-motion and without sound? Like a film reel gone bad? Or stop action? That's how it felt.

I could see everything, like it was slowed down, even though I know the vampires were moving much faster than that. I know that I screamed Eric's name, and I know that I saw all four of the vampires drop to their knees, howling in pain. In my little corner of Craig's mind, I saw exactly what he was doing, and it was costing him a lot, so I took a chance and struck back.

There was not much I could do. I was not in any sort of shape, physically or mentally, to put up much of a fight, but I knew I had to give Eric and Pam a chance. The backlash from Craig was painful, and left me dizzy; however, I did remain conscious.

That is how I saw what happened next. It was sudden the way time sped up. One minute everything was in slow motion and the next, there was screaming, and blood spraying. It was loud and overwhelming, and if I wasn't hyper-aware of him, I would not have seen Craig slip out through a hidden door.

I saw Craig's Master recover first, probably because Craig hadn't really been targeting him. What Craig did was sort of like throwing out a wave. It was aimed at Eric, but its edges caught the others. I screamed as I watched that black-haired vampire's sword come down toward Eric's unprotected head, and then I felt blood hit my face as the vampire I later learned was called Ian, launched himself between them. I heard him call out a name just before his body began to disintegrate.

Eric used the moment to his advantage, and the next thing I knew, Craig's employer was howling as Eric sliced through both of his legs at the knees. He fell to the floor with a sickening thud, and I heard Eric say something to Pam, as my world began to become very dark.

I recall bits and pieces of what happened next. I was in a car, in Eric's arms. I know there were voices, but I don't think I understood any of the words. I think I said, "You came," and I think I heard him reply, "of course my love," before everything went black. Then I felt softness, a bed? The last thing I recall was hearing Eric's voice say, "Drink Sookie, you must drink." I think I did, but I don't remember any of it.

When I finally woke up, it was daylight. Amelia was asleep in the chair next to the bed. I looked around, trying to figure out where I was. At the sound of my movement, Amelia jumped up.

"Oh my God! Sookie!" She yelped, and immediately jumped up to give me a hug. I involuntarily flinched away from her. I couldn't take it. For one thing, just her touch made me feel disgusting. For another, she was the loudest broadcaster I knew, and contact made it worse. I could see all of the things she was imagining in her head, about what happened to me, and she wasn't far off the mark on most of them. I shuddered.

"Please Amelia," I whispered. "Please stop." I was whimpering now, holding my head in my hands. "Please get out."

"Sookie?" She asked, concern evident in her voice. "Sookie honey, what do you need? Just tell me."

"Get out!" I shouted. "Just get out!" I was sobbing now, but I saw Amelia flee from the room. I know she meant well, but I was totally worn out and utterly incapable of putting up my shields. Frankly, at the time, I was not sure I ever would be able to again. It was a terrifying prospect.

Apparently the commotion alerted everyone, and the next thing I knew, I had a couple of shifters in my room, trying to figure out where the next attack was coming from. Suddenly, my brain was full of snarling, red-tinged thoughts. Sam's were the worst. Like Amelia, he's always been a loud broadcaster, for one of the two-natured, and I could feel his horror and pity. I thought I was going to throw up.

He ran over to me, and tried to pull me into his arms, "There, there chère," he said as he tried to soothe me, but all he did was make it worse. I began to scream hysterically. I couldn't breathe, and I gasped for air over and over, and then suddenly I leaned over and retched on the floor. I heard someone calling for a doctor, and just before my vision faded once more, I saw the familiar face of Dr. Ludwig.

Beeping. Incessant beeping. That is what woke me the next time. I opened my eyes to see that sometime while I was unconscious, I'd been hooked up to an I.V. It was also dark outside, and I realized I was not alone in the room. _Eric_. I felt calm and comfort course through the bond to me, and it helped somewhat.

"Sookie." His voice belied the calm I felt through the bond. It was raw with emotion; relief, pain, love, anger, all bottled up inside. He didn't rush up to me, instead staying carefully against the wall across from me.

"Eric." I looked up at his beautiful face.

"May I?" He asked, as he gestured to the chair by the bed.

I nodded my approval, and he sat down.

"Thank you," I whispered. "Thank you for coming for me. You shouldn't have risked it though. Craig is so dangerous. He nearly . . ." my sobs cut me off. "You were nearly killed Eric! What were you thinking barging in like that? Couldn't you feel my warning? What if something had happened to you?"

"Shhhh, Sookie." He reached out his fingers to brush away my tears, and I cringed. I cringed from Eric. The only refuge I'd had the entire time I was with Craig, and now he'd stolen it from me. All I'd hoped for when Craig had me was to be safe in Eric's arms again, and now the very thought of his touch brought bile to my throat. Besides, why would he want to touch me? Why would he want me? I'd been defiled. I wasn't clean, and it felt like I never would be again. I was disgusted with myself, and he would be too.

"Please don't touch me." I whispered. I saw the pain flit across his face, but he withdrew his hand. "Where are we?"

"This is the home of Alair Barton, the sheriff of London. He is a friend of Felipe's."

I looked at the I.V. questioningly.

"You've been asleep for two days. Dr. Ludwig said you needed to be kept hydrated."

I nodded in understanding. "Two days?"

"Yes. On and off. You were brought here the night before last. You did wake up yesterday morning, when you saw Amelia, but since then you've slept until now." He hesitated, as if unsure how to phrase what came next. "How do you feel? Physically I mean. I got you to drink from me before you lost all consciousness. If you are still in pain, I can give you more."

I shuddered at the thought of such intimate touching. Eric must have understood, because he said, "I could put it in a glass."

I tried to smile at him, although I think it was more of a grimace. "Thank you Eric, but I'm okay." No, I wasn't okay. I didn't think I'd ever be okay again, but Eric's blood had healed my wounds. Physically, I just felt weak and tired, probably from the lack of food over the last several days.

"Who is he, the vampire that hired Craig?"

Eric tensed slightly at my question, and then answered. "Hot Rain." He waited a beat to see if I processed the information, and when he saw that I did, he continued. "He is currently being held by Barton. We are having a slight disagreement about jurisdiction." He was mad. Mad enough that it managed to slip past the tight hold he had on his emotions, letting me feel it through the bond. He wanted to get his hands on Hot Rain.

Hot Rain, the vampire that sent Charles Twinning after me. The vampire that sired Longshadow, and had apparently loved him so much, that Longshadow's death had completely unhinged him. Of all the scenarios I imagined during my captivity, this one had never crossed my mind. I believed Eric had resolved the issue already after Twinning's failed attempt on my life. It never occurred to me that a vampire could feel so deeply, particularly about another vampire.

Eric must have sensed my train of thought because he said, "I told you once that vampires rarely mate with each other, and that the sharing of sex and blood gives them a power over each other. I underestimated the depth of Long Shadow's and Hot Rain's connection."

I was almost afraid to ask the next question. "Craig?"

Eric's face became even stonier. "Sutherfield escaped. When we were . . . incapacitated," he chose his word carefully, "he slipped out through a secret door. By the time we were able to follow, he had disappeared. Alcide thought he heard a motorcycle, but they were still fighting with the guards, so he could not go investigate."

I tried to quell the panic in my belly. I had seen Craig slip away, but I had hoped against hope that one of them had managed to capture him. Instead, he was out there somewhere, and he still wanted me. I shuddered.

Then I did a mental tally in my head. Sam, Calvin, and Amelia had been in my room today. I had seen Pam in the room with Eric and Hot Rain. The other vampire had been killed. That left three unaccounted for.

"Eric, where are Bill, Sandy, and Alcide?"

He sat forward slightly, his elbows on his knees. "They are here. They were injured, but they will heal. They are getting what they need to make that happen." Meaning the vampires were being supplied with fresh blood, most likely from willing donors, although I had no idea what the laws and customs were for English vampires.

"How bad, Eric?"

I could see he did not want to tell me, but I think he knew I wouldn't rest until he did. "Bill went down when a Were bit his leg, but while he was down, both his arms were severed." He stopped, I think because in addition to blanching, I gagged and nearly vomited again. I could see him fight his urge to put his arms around me. I felt his frustration across the bond as well. When I calmed down a bit, I looked at him to continue. "Sandy lost an eye . . . and a hand. Alcide was shot, in the thigh, but he is a full Were; he will recover quickly."

"And the vampire that died?" That was when I learned Ian's name. "He said something right before he died. It sounded like a name."

Eric looked surprised. I don't know if he was surprised that I remembered, or surprised at what Ian said, but he said, "Ciara."

"Who is she?"

Eric looked pained, and I could tell he wanted to avoid telling me, but I pressed him. "Eric, please. I need to know everything."

So he told me. He told me of Ian and Ciara, and of the tragedy in Switzerland. He told me of Ian's hope of finding her once more, a dream that was now ended. I didn't know if I still believed in God. I certainly didn't know if vampires had souls. I did, however, offer up a silent prayer to whoever was listening, for Ian and Ciara, so that they might meet in whatever afterlife there may be.

I closed my eyes. There was so much pain and suffering, and all because of me. I knew they would heal, and the vampires would re-grow their missing parts, but I also remember Eric telling me about Sophie-Ann, and how painful it was. I felt unbidden tears slip down my cheeks. "Too much." I whispered. "Too high a price."

"No, Sookie. I would pay any price to have you safe. Any price." He repeated, and then he could not resist any longer. He gathered me to his chest, and kissed my head, and I could feel love radiate across the bond. For a brief moment I basked in the glow, and it was like being bathed in light. But only for a moment, before the panic set in, and I was beating at his chest, begging him not to touch me. I was like a moth trapped in a lamp, frantically beating its wings against the glass, while slowly being burned.

I couldn't take his touch. I didn't want to be touched, especially by a man. Even Eric, and that broke my heart. Eric had once told me I was spoiled for humans. Well, at that moment, I believed Craig spoiled me for everyone else.

Eric let go of me quickly, concern creasing his face. "Let me get Dr. Ludwig."

"No. No. It's okay. I just . . . I need to use the restroom, and I'd like to wash up." I think he may have winced, as I yanked the I.V. out of my arm. I tried to stand up, but lost my balance and had to grab hold of the edge of the bed. I was even weaker and more malnourished than I thought. In an instant he was at my side, but I recoiled from him. I felt understanding flood the bond. I wasn't sure if I was glad that he understood what I was feeling, or horrified that he knew what I was feeling. "I'm sorry Eric. I just . . . can't," and my voice broke. After a moment, I continued. "The entire time he had me, I prayed you would find me. I _knew_ you would find me. I never doubted you." Another sob tore through me, but I angrily wiped the tears from my face. "I don't know where all of this leaves us. Hell, I don't even know who I am anymore. Please just give me some time, okay?"

His face betrayed nothing, but I felt his love and compassion. He just looked at me, and then I heard him say, "Pam!"

The door opened, and Pam walked in, and as her eyes found me, I could swear I saw relief dart across her features, before they resumed their usual disinterested look. "Yes Eric."

"Would you please help Sookie to the restroom? She must see to some of her human needs, and would like to shower."

"Of course." She turned to me. "C'mon Sookie." She put her arm around my waist, and although I was not comfortable with the contact, it did not cause me to react the same way as when one of the men touched me. Plus, since she was a vampire, her mind was not projecting to me the way Amelia's did.

"Thank you, Pam."

"Anytime Sookie."

I think I used up all the hot water in London during that shower. Pam finally reached in and turned it off when she smelled the blood. I had not even realized it, but I had scrubbed myself raw in an attempt to rid myself of Craig. I silently allowed her to dry me and then help me put on my clothes. She even brushed out my hair for me.

When we walked back into the room, Eric was in downtime, but he snapped to as soon as we entered. I saw him sniff the air, and I know he recognized the scent of my blood, but he didn't press me on it.

"I'd like to see everyone," I said. "I need to thank them, and apologize for earlier."

"You don't have to do that my love, not until you are ready. They understand." I recoiled from his use of the endearment, and all its implications. I couldn't understand how he could still call me that. I felt too disgusting. Once more, I cursed Craig for ruining the one thing that I had clung to the entire time he had me.

"I do Eric. I have to. Just," I paused, "please ask them not to _think_ so loudly? I can't really put up my shields right now . . . that's what happened yesterday morning. I was totally overwhelmed by everyone's thoughts."

Eric nodded. "That's what Dr. Ludwig surmised, and she has already spoken to them."

"Okay, then let's do this." Once again, Pam helped to steady me, as we walked down a hallway, then down some stairs. They were all downstairs, except for Bill. Him I would have to speak to later, as he was not conscious right now. Dr. Ludwig was keeping him sedated. Alcide had a bandage on his leg; Sandy wore an eye patch, and her hand was rather loosely covered in some sort of bandage. I suppose to give it room to grow.

Amelia was sitting next to Sam, and I could tell she had been crying. Calvin was standing across the room. I could feel their concern, and occasionally a random thought from Amelia, but to their credit, the three humans were doing a good job of not projecting at me.

"I just wanted to thank you. All of you," I was interrupted by several voices all declaring that my thanks were unnecessary. "Please," I held up my hand, "let me finish." They quieted down. "In Brazil, when I saw all of you," a sob threatened to break free and I took a breath, "you don't know . . . it gave me such hope. It helped me stay alive. It helped me keep fighting." By now my voice was nearly a whisper, as I struggled not to break down in front of everyone. "Thank you."

Amelia tried to come up to me again, to hug me, but Pam blocked her and shook her head. As I turned to head back upstairs, I heard her whisper to Amelia, "no touching, she can't . . ." but that was all I heard.

Except for one stray thought, that seemed to come from all of them at once. _Dear God, what did he do to her, and how do we fix it?_

I wanted to know the answer to that question myself, but right, then I had to settle for going back to sleep.

_A/N: So, how do they fix it?_


	22. Chapter 22

_A/N: I want to start by telling you all how much I appreciate the reviews and pm's I get regarding this story. I can't respond to everyone, but it is really humbling and awe inspiring to have people tell you that something you wrote brought them to tears, and I really need to let you guys know how much that means to me. My foray into fanfic began as a sort of writing exercise. I wrote when I was younger, but after years of study and practice in a field that doesn't encourage this type of creativity, I felt lost. I thought if I wrote in a closed universe, it would be a way to get those creative juices flowing again. Thank you all for being my willing guinea pigs in that experiment. You've given me confidence to start an original story of my own. It is just a little kernel of an idea at this point, but the fact is that without all this feedback, I doubt I would have had the courage and wherewithal to do so. So, thank you._

_Once again my deepest gratitude goes out to Kristin and Galla for beta-ing this for me. These latest chapters have been incredibly difficult to write, and their comments and encouragement help me get through it._

_Please be patient with the story and my updates. Like I said, these chapters have been harder to write, so it may take a little longer at times to update, but I promise I will see it through.  
_

Chapter 21

I knew it was going to take Sookie a long time to heal from the wounds Sutherfield inflicted on her psyche. I was no stranger to the effects of torture. I had, in fact, often been the cause. I also knew the effects of rape on a woman. That was something I had never done, but I do recall from my days as a human how it affected the women of a village after a raid. I also recall the effect on my aunt.

I was the one who found her, after two men from a neighboring village had taken her. It took a few weeks before she would allow anyone but my mother to touch her, and months before she would be alone with any man, even my father. Eventually she did return to herself, mostly. However, that certain spark never returned to her eyes, and a hard edge of wariness permanently replaced it.

I only hoped Sookie could somehow return to herself, that the core of her remained.

When we arrived at Barton's home, Dr. Ludwig was already waiting. After examining her, she immediately advised me to give Sookie my blood, which I willingly did. It was difficult because she kept slipping in and out of consciousness, and I repeatedly had to reopen my wrist, but eventually she drank enough. Then we cleaned her up, and put her to bed.

Dr. Ludwig spoke with me at length, detailing the extent of her injuries. In addition to being physically violated, she sustained many injuries related to torture. There were numerous cuts, bruises and lacerations all over her body. However, the doctor advised me that the worst injuries were to Sookie's psyche.

She did not know how Sutherfield did it, nor did she know exactly what was done; Sookie would have to tell us, but she could see the blackness that hovered there, like a psychic bruise. I did not understand the extent of the doctor's powers, nor did I care to. I trusted the tiny half-demon with Sookie's life before, and she had not failed me, I trusted her now again.

I spent the first night just watching her sleep. I did not want to let her out of my sight, and when I went to my daytime resting place, I couldn't entirely shake the fear that she would be taken again while I slept. The only thing that placated me was the knowledge that, in addition to the three shifters at her door, Barton had extremely tight daytime security around his home.

I also went to her as soon as I awoke the next night, but then I had to see Barton with regards to Hot Rain. Apparently Barton's superior wanted the trial and punishment to take place in his jurisdiction. The British vampires had a similar, but not identical, method of organization. Each of England's counties was assigned a sheriff, and several counties together were overseen by a duke or duchess. Collectively, they were ruled by the vampire king of England, Scotland, and Wales. At any other time I may have found it a humorous and archaic approximation of the human monarchy. Now, however, I was seething. Barton's duke wanted to use these events to further his own ambition. Barton was trying to use his not inconsiderable influence to permit me to take Hot Rain back to the States. I had no doubt that Felipe would put Hot Rain's punishment into my hands.

When I returned to Sookie's room, I once again found Dr. Ludwig. She told me of the events of the morning, and how she believed that Sookie's normal post-traumatic reactions were being further aggravated by her telepathy. She doubted Sookie was in any condition to shield herself from the thoughts of the humans around her. She had sedated her slightly, so she would sleep the rest of the day, when there were more humans awake and about. Dr. Ludwig also gave each of Sookie's friends a stern talking to, telling them that if they couldn't keep their thoughts and emotions in check around her, she was going to send them packing. I thanked the doctor and entered the room.

I walked over to the wall near her bed, leaned back, and watched her sleep. I felt her begin to wake up after about an hour. At first it was just the stirring of her consciousness across the bond, but then I saw her body begin to move as well. I sent comfort and calm through the bond, and then she opened her eyes and looked at me.

"Sookie." I said, as I continued to send calm through the bond, but my voice betrayed my emotions. It took every ounce of inner strength I possessed not to take her up in my arms.

"Eric." She responded, and I felt so many conflicting sensations pour across the bond: love, fear, pain, anger, and self-loathing. It was heartbreaking. Still, I willed myself to rein in my impulses. "May I?" I wanted to know if I could approach her, and sit by her. I did not want to frighten her as Sam did this morning.

She began to thank me for rescuing her, and then as only she could do, she let her gratitude give way to anger, as she laid into me for risking myself to save her. I shushed her, and reached over to wipe away her tears, and she flinched away from me. She asked me not to touch her, and once again I could feel her self-loathing flood the bond. It was like a knife to my heart.

She began to ask questions. I answered the first couple easily enough, and then segued into her physical well being. When I offered her more blood, I saw her shudder, and I understood it to be because of the intimacy of the act. No small wonder. The two times she intentionally drank from me, she brought me to climax from that act alone. I tried to allay her fears, and offered my blood in a glass, but she refused.

She continued asking questions, and I tried to answer them as honestly as I could. I told her about Hot Rain, and about Sutherfield's escape. I could feel her panic at that last. She was terrified of him. I wanted to ask about the things he did, but I knew it was too soon. She would tell me when she was ready. Then she asked about Bill, Sandy, and the Were. I did not want to tell her, and tried to avoid giving her the details. I knew what happened to Bill would upset her greatly, but she pressed me for the information, and I knew she would not let up until I told her, or someone else did. She nearly threw up when I told her, and I was so very frustrated that I could not take her in my arms to soothe her.

Then she asked about Ian. I didn't want to tell her. There was no way to soften the story. She would know that the bond nearly killed him when Ciara died. Worse, she would see the death of romance and love, and I couldn't bear that. She needed to see that these things were still possible. Finally, however, she would blame herself, when none of it was her fault.

"Eric, please. I need to know everything."

I could deny her nothing. So I told her, and as I knew she would, she took the pain and suffering on herself. "Too much," she whispered. "Too high a price."

I told her there was no price I wouldn't pay for her, to have her safe. I needed her to understand, to feel it. I flooded the bond with my love for her, and gathered her into my arms. For a brief moment she surrendered, and I felt hope flare that perhaps she would at least let _me_ in. It was a vain hope. Her panic tore through her, and washed over me, and she began beating my chest frantically. I released her immediately, and told her I would get the doctor.

She told me not to, and then yanked the I.V. out of her arm stating she needed the restroom, however, she lost her balance when she got out of the bed. I was at her side instantly, but I understood that she did not want me to touch her just then. The wash of emotions from her was confusing, and saddened me. Then she told me how she knew that I would find her, knew that I would come for her. She also said she didn't know where any of this left us, or who she was anymore, and asked me for time.

This was a good thing. That she was thinking ahead like that was a good sign to me. Of course I would give her time. Time was one of the things I had plenty of. I tried to pour all of my love and feeling into the bond in response.

After Pam helped her clean up, she went downstairs to thank everyone for helping in her rescue. I don't think I have ever been more proud of her. She was still herself. She didn't know it yet, but she was.

When she was finally sleeping once more, Barton came to me. I stepped out of the room with him, and followed him to his study. He offered me a glass of Royalty, and we sat down to talk.

"The duke has agreed to release Hot Rain to your custody," he began, "on one condition. He asks that any of Hot Rain's assets here be confiscated by him, and that you will not lay claim to them."

I pretended to think about it for a moment, but in truth it was the outcome I had expected. "I agree," I replied.

He smiled, raised his glass and said, "So, please satisfy my curiosity Northman. Why this woman? You are ancient, even among our kind. You would not bond someone easily. And for Felipe to have extended his personal protection . . . well, you can understand my curiosity."

I took a deep swallow of the blood—it really was a lovely vintage—and replied, "Do you know of the disaster in Rhodes?"

"Yes, I heard about it. Nasty piece of business, that."

"Then you know how so many were saved."

He looked at me for a moment, then his eyes widened. "That was her? Yes, I can see where bonding a telepath would be quite useful. There's more, though, and I don't mean her fae blood." At my look, he laughed softly, "Sorry, but I could smell it. It is one of my 'gifts', sensing fairies."

I relaxed a bit in my chair, but did not respond.

"It is obvious you care for her, as more than just an asset. From what I saw the other night it is a very strong bond, and _that_ only occurs when there are feelings involved."

I still did not respond. I did not know Barton, even if he was friends with Felipe, and I did not see his endgame yet.

Barton raised his hand slightly, "Don't worry about me, Northman. I have no interest in your telepath. My tastes don't run in that direction. Plus, I would never be so imprudent as to get between the two of you. Hot Rain is a fool."

"Hot Rain is a madman." I replied. Then again, would I not be the same if the circumstances were reversed?

"And Felipe's interest? Even given the value of her talents, Felipe's efforts to retrieve her are above and beyond."

I smiled slightly. "You recall Sigebert and Wybert?" At his nod, I continued, "She saved Felipe, and me and the shifter, from Sigebert's wrath after the death of Sophie-Ann."

"That tiny human?"

"That tiny human and her car," I replied. "Felipe extended his formal protection to her shortly after. He had no choice but to aid in her rescue."

"Ah, that does explain things."

I drained my glass and said, "If there is nothing else, I need to speak to my people."

"Of course, of course," Barton replied with a wave of his hand.

As I stood in the doorway, I looked back at him, "Thank you. I am in your debt." Of course he already knew this, but I always acknowledged what I owed. I do not shirk my responsibilities.

I spent a few minutes talking to Pam and Sandy, asking them to talk to Felipe and set up the details of transporting Hot Rain back to the States. Then I returned to Sookie's bedside.

She was sleeping restlessly. She looked feverish, and her damp hair was sticking to her forehead. I heard her whimper, and then, while still sleeping, she begged, "Please, not again." I felt my fists clenching with the desire to kill Sutherfield. He was going to suffer for a long, long time before I was through with him. I leaned over and gently smoothed the hair away from her forehead. Her eyes flew open at my touch, and I quickly pulled away.

"Eric," she whispered, and I felt relief surge through the bond. "Please don't leave me."

"I'm not going anywhere, my love," I replied gently.

"Eric, I know what you felt through the bond," she began hesitantly, "I need you to know, I never . . . it was never willingly." Silent tears were running down her face, and I could feel her shame flood the bond. Could she really believe that I thought anything else?

"I know, my love. I know. I do not know what he did to you, but I know you did not want it. I knew your heart all the time." I longed to touch her, but was afraid she would pull away. She was talking, and as much as I hated what I was going to hear, I needed to know, and she needed to talk about it.

And she did. It poured out of her; Sutherfield's telepathy and his ability to torture her using his mind only. However, it seemed he also _enjoyed_ using physical implements. She explained, in a near whisper, how he took her body, and used her mind to force pleasure on her. She told me about the room in her mind, where she found me, and how she feared for what he would do, how she blocked me, and how he tore that block down. She told me how he reversed the sensations of pleasure and pain, and how Hot Rain watched as he did it. Finally, she told me about Brazil, and what he showed her and told her on the plane.

"He is not going to let me go Eric. He will come back for me."

I growled. "He will never get near you again, Sookie."

Then she dropped the bomb. She told me that his abilities affected vampires as well, and suddenly, the other night made sense. Neither Pam nor I understood what had incapacitated us that night, and Hot Rain refused to speak. It was, to say the least, disconcerting to know that a man with his powers roamed free.

"I stopped him." She said. I looked at her in disbelief, and she continued. "I found a way to sneak into his head and watch." Her voice grew detached and cold, and I found myself strangely afraid for her. "I watched while he tortured me, while he made me come as his knife blade cut across my stomach. I watched as he made his gentlest touches sear like the flame of a blowtorch. I watched, and I waited, and I learned. But when I saw him hurt you, I couldn't just watch anymore."

"Sookie, what did you do?"

She looked at me, her eyes unflinching, "I repaid him in kind."

Her cold voice sent shivers through my soul, and I wondered if I really had all of her back.

_A/N: uh oh, what did she do? So, what should Eric do with Hot Rain?_


	23. Chapter 23

_A/N: I wanted to start by thanking all of you once again for your reviews and pm's. You guys are great! A few of you are also as beautifully depraved as our Viking! LOL! Some of the ideas of what should be done to Hot Rain . . . *shudders* Sick, sick puppies! And I love you for it._

_Thanks again, and as always, to the fabulous Kristin and Gallathea for beta-ing this for me. They not only correct my grammar, but put up with my whining and uncertainty, and help me see when I've strayed off the path. *smooches*  
_

Chapter 22

Three days later we were back home in Bon Temps. Eric tried to convince me to come back to his home in Shreveport, but I was adamant about being in my house. I needed the familiarity, and he didn't push me on it.

God bless Amelia, I know she meant well and I owed her so much after what she did to help rescue me, but she was making me crazy. Besides the obvious hovering, and asking me if I needed anything every ten minutes, she was just terrible at controlling her thoughts. I know she tried, and I tried to keep my shields up, but I was exhausted and it was difficult to maintain them all the time. The worst part was that the things she imagined, the horrors she conjured, were only the start of the things Craig had done to me. Her imagination couldn't even begin to fathom it.

The nights were better. Amelia would head over to Tray's, and Pam would stay with me until dawn. She was staying at the house, using Bill's old hidey-hole during the day. I don't think I ever realized just how much of a friend I'd considered Pam, or her me, until then. Not once did she complain about our situation, and I _knew_ how she felt about taking care of a human, and that she did not like the hidey-hole either. Also, for once I didn't balk at the idea of having a baby sitter. Craig was out there, and I'd be lying if I said I wasn't terrified of that fact. Of course, with his ability to affect vampires as well, Pam was at risk, but there were others guarding me as well, night and day. There was always a member of either Alcide's or Calvin's packs patrolling the grounds, twenty-four-seven. I'm also pretty sure that Bubba was out patrolling the woods, and staying at Bill's during the days. Bill was somewhere in Shreveport, being looked after by Eric's people, and finally, Eric was coming by every night.

He was being very understanding. He did not push me, and kept a respectful distance from me physically, although I could tell how much it cost him to do so. My heart ached at the loss of his touch, just as much as my mind revolted against the idea. Despite their care and good intentions, however, I just couldn't stand having any of them around me, even Eric. Just the understanding look on his face was making me crazy. He was almost too understanding. Where was the Viking rage? Where was the cold detachment from human feelings? Right now I needed that detachment, because his understanding and pity were killing me. I was feeling . . . I was just _feeling_ too much, and I needed it to stop.

Yet, I couldn't bring myself to tell them to go away. Eric tried to block the bond, but I could still feel, and _knew_, his fear for me. Like I said, I learned many things from inside Craig's head. Vampires may not project their thoughts, but once you know how, they are not so difficult to read. Eric was desperate for the reassurance of my safety, but after a little while it was beginning to suffocate me. I had to find a way to get balance and perspective back into my life.

I told Sam I wanted to go back to work. Not only did he have a complete meltdown, ranting about how I wasn't ready, and how it wasn't safe, but the first thing he did at sunset was call Eric. I spent the next hour listening to a lecture about how he was going to be taking care of all my needs, that for once I was going to do what was right for my safety, and that if it meant I would never speak to him again, well that was fine as long as I was safe. I'd never seen him so angry with me, yet I wasn't afraid of him. I knew he would never, ever hurt me. I saw him replaying Ian and Ciara's story in his head, and I knew his reaction was because he couldn't bear to lose me again.

In the end, however, I was a veritable prisoner in my own home. I went to the market, the video store, even the library, but at the end of the day, I was just in a nicer prison than the one Craig had me in. Maybe that wasn't fair to say and, in truth, it was because of Craig that I was being forced to live like this, but it didn't change the fact that after a week they were all making me crazy.

So I used the time to practice. Interestingly, reading vampires was easier than reading the two-natured. I think it is because so much of the animal is present in the two-natured, and that thought is completely non-linear, and very, very sensory. It makes their thoughts much more jumbled, and harder to sort through, but after a while, I got more proficient at reading them too. I may have been able to save Alcide's father that day, had I been able to read them as well as I could after spending time with Craig.

One of the positive side effects of everything I'd learned from Craig, was a much better ability to compartmentalize and concentrate. I'd always been able to do so to some extent, it was how I pushed past what Uncle Bartlett and Bill did to me. Yet, with my new control, after several days my shields were stronger than ever, and I was finally able to shut Amelia out much more efficiently. I could also begin to separate out my various emotions, particularly those surrounding what Craig had done to me. I knew I would still have to deal with all of those feelings, but for the moment it afforded me a bit of peace. It wasn't perfect, and it didn't always work, but it did help me relax more around the men, particularly Eric. I think I actually managed to shock him when I touched him lightly on the hand after a few days, but I felt his shock replaced by joy. Then came his love, and the feeling swamped me. I lost control, and found myself in his head, only this time it wasn't intentional, and I heard so much more than I wanted to. It was overwhelming— his love for me, his need and desire. Then his anger at what happened to me, his unadulterated hatred for Craig and Hot Rain, and burning hunger for revenge. I couldn't breathe, and gasping I stepped back, desperately trying to pull myself out of his head.

I saw pain cross his face when I pulled away again. I knew he felt my panic across the bond, but I also knew he assumed it was because of the touch. He still had no idea what I could do, and I wasn't ready to tell him. I wasn't afraid of what he would do to me. I just wanted to know the extent of my abilities first.

I hadn't been sleeping very well to begin with, and often had nightmares that replayed my time with Craig, but a little over a week after I got home, the other dreams began. At least at first I thought they were dreams. I would be sitting in the house, trying to "read" Eric, when suddenly he would clutch his head, screaming in agony, or I would be "practicing" and trying to sharpen my telepathy, when Amelia's nose would start bleeding, then her eyes, and her ears, before she fell down in spasms. It didn't matter who was in the dream, I woke screaming; and Pam would be by me in an instant. On the third night of the dreams, Craig came to me, and I woke up screaming his name. When Pam came in, I saw that her fangs were down in anticipation of an attack, but she quickly realized no one else was in the room.

"Sookie! Sookie! It was only a dream, Sookie." She said as she gently shook me by the shoulders. "It was only a dream."

Only it wasn't. I couldn't tell her how I knew, but I knew it wasn't just a dream. Craig was reaching out to me from wherever he was, but what was it he was showing me? These were not mere dreams, they were . . . warnings? That is what they felt like, warnings.

The next night, he spoke to me in the dream. He knew I was tampering with what I learned from him. He smiled broadly, almost with pride. "That's my girl." He purred to me. I shuddered. "What?" I yelled at him. "What are you trying to tell me?"

"I'm just showing you what is going to happen. It's what happened to me. When we're first learning to control this gift . . . well, really control it, not like what you so feebly attempted your whole life, it's easy to slip, to make a mistake. It takes time to learn subtlety."

"Why would you tell me this? I'd think you'd want me to kill Eric, all my friends. Why help me?"

"You need me, Sookie. I told you, you're meant for me."

I woke up sweating, then ran to the bathroom and threw up my entire dinner. For two more nights I endured images of my loved ones being torn apart and killed by me. I was a wreck in the mornings, but everyone assumed it was post-traumatic stress disorder. I even heard them whispering about it.

The next day found me jittery and impatient. I spent it cleaning the entire house from top to bottom. I even polished Gran's silver, just to keep my mind occupied with menial tasks, and not let myself drift into anyone's thoughts. By evening, I was exhausted. When Eric came, I was curled up on the couch, the television airing some mindless reality show, while my dinner sat untouched on the tray before me. I saw him and Pam exchange meaningful glances, but I turned my head. I didn't want to see it. I was tired of being the object of pity.

I felt my thoughts drifting, and the next thing I knew I was in Eric's head once more, only this time, it wasn't the emotional roller coaster of his feelings for me. Instead, I was treated to his replay of Hot Rain's trial, sentencing, and the start of his punishment. I was transfixed and horrified at the same time. It wasn't so much what was done to Hot Rain. Frankly, he deserved what he got, and if that made me a bad Christian, well I wasn't so sure I cared anymore. It was the delight with which Eric watched it. I could feel, as if it was my own sensation, his deep satisfaction. I could feel his burgeoning lust and arousal as Hot Rain's blood began spurting. It was the sheer depravity of his enjoyment of it, and the fact that I realized I wasn't bothered by what I saw, that shocked me. In my shock, I struck out, somehow. I'm not even sure what I did, but the next thing I knew Eric's head snapped back like he'd been hit, and he grunted in pain.

His eyes found mine, and I knew that he knew, but that's not what scared me. What scared me was the complete lack of intention on my part. My powers were growing, but they were wholly out of my control, and that terrified me. I heard him calling to me, "Sookie! Sookie!" I recall seeing his face in front of mine, but the next thing I knew everything went black, and I blissfully slipped into unconsciousness. Even the dreams did not come that night.

After that incident, I realized I had to get away from him, from all of them, for a time. I needed to get a grip on what was going on in my own head, because I was going to inadvertently kill someone. I don't know why, but I got the feeling that it was my closeness to them that made them vulnerable to me. I never seemed to lose control when I was with strangers, like at the library or the store. I just didn't know how to keep them away from me. I knew I couldn't tell Eric, or Pam, or Sam and Amelia, not to come around. It would hurt them too much, and I already knew Eric would find me anywhere I went, but I wasn't willing to block the bond. For one thing, I wouldn't do that to him. It would be cruel to worry him that much. For another, Craig was still a threat, and I wanted Eric to be able to find me if the need arose. I went to bed still trying to figure out how to deal with it all, and pretended to sleep when Eric arrived.

Once more Craig came to me. Once more I watched as a parade of horrors consumed my loved ones. Once more I listened to Craig tell me that I needed him, that he was waiting for me, and that I would come to him. I steeled my resolve, and determined that I was going to figure out a way to deal with this, and it was not going to be by running back to Craig.

The next day, I was lying on the couch watching the Discovery Channel, or something like it, when a story caught my attention. It was perfect. I got online, did a little research, and took care of the procedural details. Now, all I had to do was make it work. I knew Eric wasn't going to like it, but it was something I needed to do. I had to take back control of my own life.

I felt bad when I did it, but I really had no choice. I was not going to allow myself to accidentally cause massive brain damage to, or worse, kill, one of my friends, or Eric. My heart was breaking at the thought of leaving once more. All I wanted the entire time Craig had me was for Eric to find me, and gather me in his arms, and make everything alright. I learned the hard way that life isn't like the movies, and there are no happy endings. Instead, I ached inside for a touch that I wound up unable to withstand, and feared that I would destroy the very thing I desired so much.

I waited until Amelia had run off on some errands, and then offered the two Weres that were my daytime guardians, sweet tea. Dr. Ludwig had left me an impressive array of sedatives and anti-anxiety medication, and I hoped that I wasn't giving them too much. I felt bad for the trouble they were going to catch later, but once Eric read my note, they would be off the hook. The cab I called pulled into the driveway, and I threw my suitcase in the back next to me.

A little over an hour later, I was standing at the gate, waiting to board. I was about to embark on my fifth flight in a month, only this time it was on my terms. I was allowed to pre-board. I finally had the money promised by Sophie-Ann, and I splurged on a first class ticket. I couldn't stand the thought of being pressed up against anyone else, particularly a man, for the duration of the flight.

Before we even took off, the flight attendant brought me a glass of champagne. After we were in the air she came back around to refill my glass. She took a look at my white knuckles gripping the armrest and asked, "Are you alright, honey?"

I looked at her and replied, "I will be."

_A/N: So, where would you guys run away to?_


	24. Chapter 24

_A/N: Sorry about the long delay, but real life just doesn't seem to understand and insisted on getting in the way. I am still floored by the response to this story, and I hope you continue to enjoy the ride. Your reviews are like candy for the soul, particularly with how difficult these last chapters are._

_Once again my undying gratitude goes out to the best betas in the world; Kristin and Gallathea. Thanks for fixing my mistakes and holding my hand.  
_

Chapter 23

"Eric! Eric! You're killing him!" Amelia shrieked.

"Your point?" I replied, as I squeezed the Were's throat tighter. If anything happened to Sookie, he was going to beg me to kill him.

"It's not his fault Eric! She left letters. Eric! It's not his fault!"

I turned to the witch and saw she was holding an envelope that had "Eric" written on it in Sookie's scrawl. I dropped the Were to the ground, where he sat gasping for breath.

As soon as I woke up that morning, I knew she was gone. I could tell, once again, that she was far away, and fear seized me. After a few moments, however, I could sense that she wasn't afraid, or in pain, and I became completely confused. If Sutherfield had her, she would have been terrified. I thought, perhaps, that she was unconscious, but I just didn't get that sense. I looked at a map, and verified where she was, grimacing at the location. I made record time to Bon Temps, and found the two Weres, sitting in the living room with their heads in their hands. I immediately had one by the throat and up against the wall. That's when Amelia started screaming at me.

I snatched the letter from Amelia's hand, and ripped it open.

_My dearest Eric,_

_Please forgive me for leaving you once again, but I have to do this. Being around me puts all of you at risk, and I could never live with myself if something happened to you, to any of you, because of my lack of control. Do you remember what I told you in London? What I learned? I did not tell you then just what, and how much, I learned. I didn't understand it myself, so how could I explain it? Simply put, my "gifts" have increased, but I have no control over them, particularly where you, or anyone else I'm close to, are concerned._

_I know you felt what happened the other night, just as I know you didn't want to believe it. If you still doubt me, know that I now know the name of your maker. What happened the other night was only a taste of what I am now capable of. I need to learn what I can do, and how to control it. I refuse to put any of you in danger while I figure it out. Eric, you are my love. You are my life. I couldn't stand it if I caused you any harm. Please know that I don't doubt your love for me. I'm not running from you. I'm running from myself._

_I know you fear for my safety, and despite what you think, I am not a fool. I know the danger that still lurks. He speaks to me still, in my dreams that are not dreams. He wants me to come to him. I hope I can avoid him; however, I know I cannot face him alone. Not yet. I know you will send people to watch over me, and I only ask that you tell them to keep their distance. Claudine can also find me if need be, now that the iron is out of my system. I'm sorry to resort to this, but I know that if you could follow me you would, and you would dissuade me. I can't take that risk. I know you mean well, but I won't be caged again, especially in my own home. If you try to force me to come back I will block the bond, completely this time. Please Eric, don't make me._

_Don't blame my guards. Dr. Ludwig left behind many sedatives and I took advantage of that fact. They are entirely blameless._

_You said you would give me time. I will hold you to your word. I also know that nothing would keep you from coming to protect me, no matter what I've said, so I've done it my way, because I have to protect you._

_Love,_

_Sookie_

I finished reading the letter, crumpled it in my hand, and put my fist through the wall, again, and again, and again, until my ancient blood flowed sluggishly from my knuckles. She was killing me. From the moment she walked into my life, she turned everything upside down. I found myself driven to protect her almost immediately, even killing Longshadow to save her, although I hardly knew her, and she belonged to Bill. It feels like all I've ever wanted to do was protect and love her, as if it was what my long life had been leading up to and shaping me for. Yet now she pushed me away! Why couldn't she understand that I would do anything, suffer anything, to protect and love her?

I turned, and found only Amelia in the room. "Doesn't she understand that I would endure anything to keep her safe?"

She touched my cheek. "Of course she does, Eric. That's why she left."

The simplicity of her statement struck me, and I knew the witch was right. It was one of Sookie's best traits, and the most frustrating. She was self-sacrificing to an extreme. She was always throwing herself into danger to protect those around her, even those she hardly knew. In Jackson, in Rhodes, even coming to Fangtasia for the first time with Bill, she was always trying to save or protect someone else. But all those other times, I was there. I could give her blood, or take a bullet. This time she made sure I couldn't be, and that wounded me in a way I did not think possible.

Perhaps I couldn't be there, but I was going to make sure she had the best protection money could buy. I dialed Niall, told him where she'd gone, and what I wanted.

The others slowly drifted back into the room. I eyed the Were I attacked earlier, and could see angry red fingerprints on his neck. I nodded my head towards him, silently asking if he was alright. I still wasn't happy with the two of them, but I suppose it would have been difficult to suspect Sookie of such subterfuge. He inclined his head to indicate he was fine.

I turned back to Amelia. "You said she left letters, plural?"

"Yes." She replied. "She left letters for you, me, Pam and Sam."

"She says he speaks to her in her dreams 'that are not dreams.' What do you know of this?"

"In my letter she says that he's been talking to her in her dreams, or what she thought were dreams. He's coming into her head while she sleeps, Eric." And I watched her shudder at the thought.

I felt impotent rage course through my body. He was still after her, still tormenting her, and there was nothing I could do about it. Felipe and I, Niall, and half the supernatural community, had people out looking for Sutherfield, but so far he had not surfaced. Until I could get my hands on him, there was nothing I could do to stop his continuing pursuit of her.

Amelia brought me out of my reverie. "Does she tell you where she's gone, Eric?"

I smiled at her, but there was no happiness in it. "No, but the bond is clear. I know exactly where she is, and why she chose it." I looked at Pam. "She's in Longyerbyen, Norway. I already informed Niall, and I've asked him to contact the Britlingens. If I cannot be there, perhaps they can keep her safe."

I probably could have hired the Britlingens myself, but it would have taken quite a bit of time and negotiation. They do not trust vampires. I knew Niall would have connections that would quicken the process. I knew Claudine watched over her, and I knew fairies were fierce fighters, particularly when protecting what they loved, but Claudine was not always able to make it to Sookie in time. Otherwise, she would not have been taken in the first place.

Also, Claudine was a wreck. She was so distraught over her "failure" to protect and rescue Sookie, that she was having the fairy equivalent of a massive depression. I finally had to banish her from the house because she was driving Sookie mad with her hovering, and tears, and constant apologies.

No, I would not depend solely on the fairies to watch over her. She was mine to protect, and I would do it my way. I asked Niall to see if the two Britlingens from Rhodes were available. It seemed Sookie had taken to them, and they seemed to like her.

I looked at Amelia, and realized she looked confused. "I don't understand. Norway? Why Norway? Why can't you be there?"

Pam looked at her friend, and former lover, and replied, "Because now is the time of the Midnight Sun. Depending on where she is, from mid-April, until sometime in August, the sun will not set, and, therefore, Eric cannot possibly go to her. It occurs throughout the Arctic Circle. Have you noticed that you never hear any news about Vampire issues in Scandinavian countries?"

"But Eric's from there!" Amelia protested.

"And he no longer lives there for a reason. Of course, it is only for a few months, but still, who wants to live somewhere where their home is inaccessible for any period of time? It is fun to visit in the winter months, during the Polar Night, when we have an equal amount of darkness, but no vampire makes that area their home. Longyerbyen, where Sookie is, is the world's northernmost settlement that can be easily accessed. It has the longest period of time for the Midnight Sun, through August. However, parts of Alaska and Sweden also spend a portion of the summer without darkness. Sookie has gone to a place where she knows she will not see a vampire for the next three months."

"Shit." Amelia replied.

I laughed mirthlessly. "Now she's the one chasing the light."

_A/N: Okay, now I can comment a bit more. This is actually part of where the entire idea for the story began - taking advantage of the Midnight Sun, and it was the first meaning behind "chasing the light." An award should go out to omVg for figuring it out, almost. She suggested Alaska, but for the same reasons. Kudos woman!_

_So, what does Eric do now?  
_


	25. Chapter 25

_A/N: First off, a note to . . . do not require me to log in after I've typed up a totally long a/n, and not let me save it first. That's just cruel. *blows raspberry*_

_Okay, now where was I . . ._

_I began with a big old thank you to everyone who has put my story on alert, on a favorite list, or left me a review. You guys are all sorts of awesome. This story hit over 800 reviews the other day, and I lost it. So thank you, thank you, thank you. I wish I could reply to each and every one of you, but then I'd have no time to write and you guys would be flinging pitchforks at me._

_I did want to answer some questions from **jdcoke's** review though. The first question was why the witches aren't tracking Craig, and isn't there something of his around to use? The simple answer is, no. LOL! The longer one is that I didn't want to make it as easy as it looks on **Charmed**. If you recall, I had Amelia pulling some big mojo just to get tracking on the plane. Magic is, and should be, difficult. Plus, if you recall Craig had some powerful enough magic going on. Enough that even with all of Sookie's personal items at her disposal, Amelia couldn't track her when she was first taken. Why would it be any different for him? Also, they have nothing personal of his to use anyway. The other question was why can't the other supes or the fae track him? I don't think the fae can because they are magical, not almighty gods. They can pop in on Sookie (usually), I think, because she is related to them and, therefore, there is a connection to her. They have no such connection to Craig. As for the other supes, it's because they have no starting point. They need a scent, a lead, a clue, and for now they have none. By the time they picked up his trail after all the fighting, he had vanished in the wind. Also, as one of my favorite authors was fond of saying, read and find out._

_Oh, and I was tickled pink by how many of you were excited about the inclusion of the Britlingens, and the reveal of where Sookie took off to. The Midnight Sun/Arctic Circle was where this story began, back around Valentine's Day. The story as you know it bears absolutely no resemblance to what I began writing at the time. It was a complete re-write, but definitely for the better. Anyway, point is that I've been trying to get Sookie to Norway since February! LOL!  
_

_Finally, I have to thank my fantastic betas, Gallathea and Kristin, without them this would be little more than a steaming pile of shifter poo.  
_

_Enjoy._

Chapter 24

Within twenty-four hours of my arrival in Longyerbyen, I saw Clovache and Batanya trailing me on the street; however, Eric apparently gave them my instructions, because they made no move to approach me. It was a bit disconcerting at first, having someone, or a pair of someones, following me around. At least they weren't dressed as they were in Rhodes, but in regular clothes that allowed them to blend in.

It wasn't that I didn't like the two Britlingens, far from it. They were unusual, but there was an affinity between us in Rhodes. At the time, I'd gotten the impression from them that they viewed me as a little sister who couldn't stay out of trouble, even if their hands were tied when it came to actively helping me. Clovache did give me valuable information that would have saved more lives if I'd been quicker on the uptake. I have to say, it was comforting to know they were there.

I tried to read them, but the same magic that kept me out of their heads when they were invisible in Rhodes, apparently kept me out all the time. I could read a signature, and register that it was theirs, but I could not penetrate their thoughts. This reassured me, and after a couple days, I signaled them to approach. If I couldn't penetrate their minds, I couldn't hurt them, so what was the point in pretending they weren't there?

We spent several days just enjoying the tourist attractions of the area. In addition to a lovely church that is open twenty-four hours a day, there is a science center that provides a history of the area, along with exhibits on the local plants and animals. What I loved best though, were the outdoor attractions, such as the nearby glacier, snowmobiling, hiking, and even dog sledding. I found that even Batanya smiled more readily when we were out in the open. As an added benefit to the natural beauty that surrounded me, being outdoors allowed me to breathe a little more freely. I didn't have to worry about someone touching me, accidentally or otherwise, although the town boasts a nearly non-existent crime rate.

The nights, or what passed for nights, were simple. I was staying at one of the nicer hotels in town, courtesy of my service to Sophie-Anne. While we sometimes frequented the hotel's bar and restaurants, there were several smaller cafes in the town. Mostly, I liked to sit and watch the people go by. A few times men tried to strike up a conversation, and I felt myself tense up. I would immediately invade their minds to ascertain their intent, and it was always innocent, or rather, innocent of intent to do harm. In any event, all it would take was a stern look from either of my Britlingen watchers to send them scurrying. After about a week, most people left me alone. The whispers in town were that I was the daughter, or niece, or even mistress, of some rich American, and Clovache and Batanya (or Chloe and Anya as I called them in public) were my chaperones. It was nice to be somewhere where no one knew me, where I wasn't "Crazy Sookie," or "Sookie the Telepath," or "Sookie Stackhouse, Punching Bag of the Supe World."

The hardest part to get used to was the twenty-four hours of daylight. It was the reason I'd chosen Longyerbyen, but it was still disconcerting, and it took my body some time to adjust. The greatest benefit, however, was that I was keeping decidedly odd hours and, therefore, Craig was apparently having trouble figuring out when I was asleep. After two weeks, I'd only had two "visits" from him, so when I slept, it was more restful. I still had nightmares some nights, and I would wake up sweating, able to smell him on me, but they were becoming less frequent. All in all, I was beginning to feel a bit more human again, even though I knew I was far from whole.

I asked Batanya and Clovache to train me in self-defense. I was never going to be a martial arts master, but given the situations I was always finding myself in, I thought it would be worthwhile to know how to fight back. They seemed more than happy to do so, and when I told them I would pay them for the extra work, they declined, claiming they were being paid enough, and that this was something they _chose_ to do, and that guild rules didn't apply, whatever that meant. Despite their foreboding appearances, when we were training, they were lighthearted and funny, particularly when the younger Clovache started teasing Batanya about her love life.

It was interesting because the Britlingens clearly had no shame with regards to sex or nudity, which was funny to me since they shared that trait with the vampires they seemed to disdain, but when it came to emotions, they actually got embarrassed. Apparently Batanya had herself the equivalent of a Britlingen boyfriend, and Clovache found every opportunity to rib her about it. I did not think a woman that tough could blush, but blush she did.

I didn't envy Batanya her love life, though. Apparently, among Britlingens, it is the woman who chooses a mate, and the woman who approaches the man first. Not only that, she has to fight his sister, or whoever his closest female relation is, before she can actively court him! I think my jaw hit the floor when they told me this.

"Get out!" I exclaimed. "You have to physically fight just to go on a date with him?"

Batanya looked at Clovache in confusion, and Clovache responded, "_Dating _is the human custom of courtship, where the man takes a woman to be fed, then has sex with her."

I choked on my coffee. I tried to explain how that was not quite right, but after a while I realized that maybe they weren't that far off the mark. Still, I tried to impress on them the importance, at least for some of us, of the need for a deeper, more meaningful connection with someone before having sex. That really threw them for a loop. For them sex was something to be had whenever there was physical desire, and they could not understand why we would subject ourselves to the discomfort of not satisfying our physical urges. Courtship, mating, and determining whom to bind yourself to for the rest of your life; that was the real test for a Britlingen woman, and she had to prove she was worthy of the man before his family would approve. By the end of the conversation, we agreed to disagree on the finer points of courtship.

In addition to my physical training, they worked with me on meditation. They said warriors needed to have a clear mind, needed to learn to tune out the extraneous thoughts in their head, and concentrate on the situation at hand. Clovache was the one who, correctly, pointed out one morning that it would benefit me greatly, as it would help me with controlling my abilities.

"It will also help you put aside what was done to you, so you can enjoy life once more." She said with a kindness that surprised me. I felt tears sting my eyes, as I shook my head.

"I don't think so." I whispered. "I can't . . . I can't even let him touch me." And the tears began to fall.

"What was done to you," Batanya spoke, and bent down to look me in the eyes, "should not be done to any woman, but if you hide from your life, from what gives you pleasure, and from what you love, then you give him power over you. You give him exactly what he wants."

I called Eric a little before lunch time. Shortly after I arrived, I received a package from him, which contained a satellite phone and a note from him telling me that he wanted us to be able to talk whenever we wanted. Our conversation, as always, was awkward. I would tell him about my day and ask how everyone was. He would fill me in, and from the strain in his voice, I could always tell he wanted to ask me when I was coming home, but he didn't. He was giving me my space, the time I asked for, but he didn't like it, and he was incredibly frustrated.

At the end of our call that day I said, "I love you Eric. I really need you to know that."

I heard a soft sigh, and along with his frustration, and anger, and worry, I felt his love pulse through the bond. "I know, Sookie. I love you too." I heard him hesitate, as if he wanted to say more, but he didn't.

"Soon, Eric. Soon." It was all I could give him right then.

During breaks from sightseeing, hiking, or even during lunch, I worked on controlling my new skills. The meditation techniques the Britlingens were teaching me were paying off, and my control was improving. One time, I "convinced" a waiter to comp our check. Of course, I insisted on paying, but it definitely worked. Another time, a loud, obnoxious tourist was spanking her son. I tentatively reached out, and the next thing I knew her hand was on her backside, and she was looking to see who dared spank her. I couldn't help but smile, and it struck me that a year earlier I would have been horrified to have caused someone intentional pain. However, that was a year earlier. Things had changed. I had changed. I realized I had the power to change things I didn't like. I hoped I had the good sense and proper upbringing not to become like Craig, but I was not going to hide anymore. I was not going to hide who I was. I was not going to hide what I was. I was going to embrace it, and I was going to start with a horrible woman, who was hitting her child.

Maybe I finally was reclaiming my own power, my own sense of self. I wasn't sure then, and I still don't know now. I still woke at night with the smell of Craig in my nose, and the feel of him inside me, but I could also start to imagine what it would be like to be in Eric's arms again, to feel the cool touch of his lips against mine, and the strength of his love around me. But not yet. I still didn't feel like I could control my abilities well enough, and until I could, there was no way I was going to risk the life or welfare of those I loved. So, I told Batanya and Clovache to pack their bags, and we traveled.

I made certain that we stayed above the Arctic Circle, always in the lands of the Midnight Sun. As much as I loved Eric, and longed to be with him, I knew that the minute I was somewhere that night fell, he would come to me, and I was not ready for that yet. So, we moved about Norway for a time. North Cape, Hammerfest, Tromsø . . . all cities that experienced the Midnight Sun until July. I even had us cross the border into Sweden, to visit Kiruna, a city in Lappland province. Interestingly, the entire city was being moved northwest because of mining subsidence. Apparently, and the irony was not lost on me, the city was known for its iron mines. After I found that out, I felt the need to return to Norway. I did not need any more reminders of my time with Craig. My two minders were none too happy about all the traveling, since they could not control all the security details, but since they knew that any restrictions on my movements would result in my complete disappearance, they did their best not to complain about it . . . too much.

While we traveled, I practiced. I found that by just watching inside people's heads, I could figure out what to do, without actually having to do it. I could just _see_ it. Like puzzle pieces falling together. I could see how to elicit the pain, or the pleasure, that Craig had elicited in me. Sometimes I played with the latter. I tried to avoid the former, unless of course the person really deserved it. I suppose that made me judge, jury, and executioner, and maybe that made me a bad person, but I was sick and tired of watching those who were weaker fall victim to the strong. I was sick and tired of being that weaker person, always falling prey to someone stronger. I was sick of being a victim, and it struck me that I no longer needed to be. The means, the potential was there, I just had to embrace it. I had to decide how far I was willing to go, and then I could deal with Craig. Then, I would be strong enough to do what needed to be done.

So, I let one month, then another slide by, never staying in one place too long. I was running through the money from Rhodes, but I didn't really care. The house was paid for; so was my car. I knew Eric would take care of the rest, and eventually I would pay him back. I was sick of my pride getting in the way of doing what was best for me. I'd been stupid for too long. I could feel Eric's frustration as I moved about, and I could hear it in his voice in every conversation. I had no doubt that the Britlingens were reporting the details of our travel plans and security arrangements back to him, but as long as he was leaving me to sort out my issues, I was fine with that. Like I said, I was done being stupid.

Eric wasn't the only one frustrated. Craig was getting impatient. He was having more and more difficulty tracking me, and I was getting better and better at keeping him out of my head, even in my sleep. I had yet to figure out how to track him, and I wondered that he had not come for me yet. I could not understand why he hadn't. Finally, one night when I failed to keep him out, I outright asked him. His answer was quick, but I didn't completely believe it, either. "I'm waiting for you to come to me. You will come to me Sookie. You need me. You know you do. You can't possibly realize your full potential without me, and I know you will never forget me. I'm in there," he said, pointing at my head, "and I have no intention of ever leaving."

His response smacked of truth, and the truth was I _would_ always live with a part of Craig inside of me. What he did to me could not be undone, but I knew I could get past it; just as I'd gotten past Uncle Bartlett's molestations and Bill's violation in Jackson. Batanya was right. I could not let what Craig did to me control what I wanted and take my power from me. I was stronger than I'd given myself credit for in the past, and if my plans worked out, I would be stronger still. However, something in Craig's tone tickled my senses. He wasn't being completely truthful, but I could not put my finger on what he was lying about. It was something I spent much time puzzling over.

Finally, toward the end of July, we headed back to Longyerbyen. It would give me at least three more weeks of sunlight, before it was time to confront my life. On the flight from Tromsø, it finally occurred to me. Craig wasn't seeking me out because he couldn't! Something was keeping him in place, but I had no idea what. Was he injured? Had some vampires caught up with him? If they had, it couldn't have been Eric or Felipe's people; I would have been informed. What game was he playing, then? Did he really think I would come and help him? I couldn't wait to ask, and that night I didn't bother with any defenses. I wanted him to come to me.

"Hello Craig," I said, as he wandered into my head. He seemed surprised, but then a smile broke out on his face, and once again I was reminded of what a beautiful son-of-a-bitch he was. I had no doubt that smile lowered many a woman's defenses around him. I know it had done so to mine that night in New Orleans. To think, I wanted to date him. I shook my head.

"Miss me already, Sookie?" He asked. His tone was light, but his eyes were wary. His dream hand reached up to brush my hair from my face, but I took a step back.

"Never again without my permission, Craig." I admonished, letting him believe there was hope for an "again." I felt him try to reach into my head, to read what I was up to, but I slammed my shields into place. "Really Craig, did you think I didn't learn anything?"

I saw a slight look of surprise flit across his face, but then his smug smile returned. "Oh no, I remember just how well you learned." He said.

I stepped forward, and reached out my hand to him. "It has to be as equals Craig. I won't let you hold power over me again." He stared at my hand for a moment, as if contemplating the truth of my words, then took it and brought it to his lips. I suppressed a shudder, and a moment later was rewarded with the information I sought. The touch strengthened our connection, and once again I found that little crack, and snuck in.

He was still in England. When I struck back that night, all I had done was send a sharp pain through his leg, well, a very sharp pain. As a result, he stopped his attack on Eric so suddenly, that it snapped back at him, like a rubber band. He'd barely gotten away, the pain was so bad. He'd ridden for some time before he finally lost consciousness, and crashed. He was found by a farmer, and was currently holed up in his home, recovering from several broken bones, including a shattered pelvis that was being held together by numerous pins. He hadn't been found, because he altered the memories of the doctors and nurses in the hospital, and convinced the farmer to take him home to recuperate. I snuck out again before he knew I was there.

"When?" I asked him.

"Soon," was his enigmatic reply, and he left.

My dream self grinned wickedly, and said, "Sooner than you think."

_A/N: So, did I answer questions sufficiently for the moment? And, what do you think of how Sookie is growing/changing/becoming here?_


	26. Chapter 26

_A/N: What is that I hear? A collective gasp at the fact that I've managed two updates in quick succession? LOL! _

_Once again, I wanted to thank you all for your incredible support of my story. I'm am touched, and overwhelmed. _

_If you are enjoying this story, and if you're here for chapter 25 you must be, and if you're reading House of Flesh as well, please check out E v. E, a little story put together by Gallathea and I (or as I call it, a Far-Thea production). You'll find the link in my profile. It's what happens when Galla's brilliant wit, my diet-addled brain, and CTL's Eric and House of Flesh's Eric all collide._

_Thank you to Kristin and Gallathea, as ever and always, for their help, support and fantastic beta work!  
_

Chapter 25

I tilted my head slightly to the side as I watched him try to hold still, my face expressionless as I listened to his screams.

"The Middle Ages were quite an inventive time for torture devices, as you can see. You are not as old as I am, so you may be unfamiliar with this particular one. It is called a Judas Cradle, or _culla di Giuda_, in Italian. Of course, I have modified this one slightly with some silver, as I am sure you are aware."

I flicked my gaze to Pam, and she slowly pulled the chains to raise him up slightly. His screams abated, but bloody tears rolled down his face, and I could see the effort he was making to control himself. I watched as blood trickled out of him, and then slowed as his body began to heal itself. I gestured to Pam again, and once more she lowered him, impaling him on the pyramid-shaped device, which I had tipped with silver to ensure that his body did not heal around it. She tethered the chains, leaving him suspended there. The beauty of this device was its simplicity. The way he was tied, if he moved one leg, the other moved with him and increased the pain. No one, not even a vampire, could remain still indefinitely.

Hot Rain's trial had been quick. Felipe, understanding the nature of the bond, turned him over to me for punishment, "in any manner you see fit, including final death." It was not simply because he had caused hurt to a human. No, that would never have been a sufficient reason. It was because Sookie was under Felipe's official protection, and that made Hot Rain's actions a direct affront to the king. I didn't care what the reasons were; I just wanted to be given free rein to avenge Sookie, and myself . . . and Ian.

I looked back over at Longshadow's sire, and lover. "Did you really believe you could get away with it? I am over six hundred years your senior! Did you really think you could best me?" The questions were rhetorical, really. It wasn't the first time I had asked them. Obviously he had believed he could best me, but more importantly, he was not really capable of answering me at the time. He was too busy screaming in agony. I only hoped it was more painful than anything Sookie had endured.

Dawn was fast approaching, and I still had some work to do upstairs. "Leave him," I instructed Pam. She removed the gloves that protected her from the silver chains, and came to my side. I had a sudden thought, and walked to the corner, where an old iron ball and chain were sitting. They were very handy when interrogating fairies, but at the moment, the weighty ball was on my mind. I brought them over to Hot Rain's outstretched stumps. A bit of the bone below the knees had grown back, but since I wasn't making much effort to feed him anything but a few bottles of poor-quality synthetic blood, the process was incredibly slow. I lashed the ball on top of his legs with the chain, increasing the weight on them, and pushing him down a bit further. His screams redoubled. I smiled at my handiwork, and told him to enjoy his day. I knew he would get no rest while in this much pain.

Pam and I made our way back up to Fangtasia. The bar had been closed for a couple of hours, but I made forced myself into the office to finish up some paper work. Despite the fact that I had no interest in the bar for the last two months, and despite the fact that much of my free time was spent with Hot Rain, payroll still needed to be dealt with, and bills had to be paid, specifically Sookie's. I did not mind it. I had always offered to take care of her needs, but her pride had always pushed me away. I felt this was the very least I could do for her.

My phone rang, and I knew without looking that it was her. I had felt her emotions get ragged a bit earlier, and hoped she would call me. "Hello my love," I answered softly. Our conversation proceeded with the same awkwardness as many of our others. I asked her about her day, although I already knew from Batanya that they had planned a morning of training. Sookie asked me about Amelia, Sam, Bill and Sandy. She asked after Pam, and finally she asked me how I was. I wanted to tell her how much I missed her. I wanted to ask her when she would be home, but I promised to give her time and space, no matter how frustrated I was with the situation—and I was very frustrated. Then she said, "I love you Eric. I really need you to know that."

I closed my eyes and reveled in the words, and allowed all my feelings of frustration, and worry, and anger, but mostly my love, to flow across the bond. "I know Sookie. I love you too." Despite my earlier resolve not to ask her when she was coming home, I nearly asked her anyway. I wanted her back with me. God, I _needed_ her back with me. When I first met her such a thought would have frightened me, and if someone told me I would feel this way, I would have laughed at them. However, she had changed me. No, that's not really right. She found me. She saw past the vampire, to the man I once was, the man I had buried deeply over the course of the millennium.

As if she read my mind, and maybe she had; I no longer had any idea of what she was capable of, she said, "Soon, Eric. Soon." Then she was gone, and I went to my rest for the day.

The next night, after I rose, I went to check on Bill. He was in significantly better shape than Hot Rain, since I was providing him with a string of willing donors. He was staying in one of my safe houses, and Clancy and Pam were taking turns caring for him. I was actually surprised by Pam's willingness to do so, but I think it was because she felt grateful to him for helping Sookie, and she truly did consider Sookie a friend.

I entered the house and heard the unmistakable sounds of sex. Not too long before, I would have intentionally interrupted him, much as I did in Dallas. Now, however, I was in his debt. Technically I wasn't, since he was bound to help Sookie pursuant to Felipe's decree, but nevertheless, I felt I owed him for his sacrifice. I knew from personal experience how painful regrowing limbs was, and if he was finding some pleasure, far be it from me to deny him now. I waited until they were finished, and then knocked on the door.

I glanced at the woman in bed next to Bill. I had seen her here before. I quirked a brow at Bill, and he just shrugged. "Lilah, this is Eric. Eric, Lilah." I knew she wouldn't remember me later anyway. She was sure to be glamoured. The details of a vampire losing his limbs, and the rate at which they grew back, were something we were not ready to reveal to humans just yet. I nodded at her in acknowledgment, and then Bill told her to go on and start a bath, and he would join her when he could.

After she left, I asked, "How is it going?"

"As well as can be expected, I suppose. Dr. Ludwig said it shouldn't be too much longer before I have full use of them again. The bones have almost all grown back, and the tendons and muscle are beginning to in some places as well."

"Good. That's good to hear," I replied. "Sookie will be glad to hear it as well. She asked about you today when we spoke."

A slightly pained look passed across his face. He still loved her, and I couldn't fault him for that. "How is she?"

I shrugged. "It's hard to tell. I know what I feel through the bond, but when we talk . . .," my voice trailed off. I wasn't sure I wanted to confide in Bill, but then again, he knew her better than anyone else, other than me. "She doesn't tell me much. I know she is training with the Britlingens, which is good. They are the best. She tells me how she spends her days, but she isn't telling me how she is doing, or what she is feeling. She won't tell me when she'll come back, either." I ran my hand through my hair, and growled lightly.

Bill chuckled. I looked at him, my irritation growing. I may be grateful to him, but I wasn't about to let him make fun of his sheriff. "Sookie has a knack for driving us crazy, doesn't she? Honestly, she can be downright infuriating, particularly when her pride is at stake." He laughed a bit more, and after a moment I joined him.

"She does test my limits, especially when she refuses to see reason," I agreed with him. "And she is stubborn. It's probably what kept her alive," I added, and with that, the mood turned a bit more somber. I walked over to the small kitchenette, and heated up a blood.

"Eric, can I give you a piece of advice?" Bill asked. When I nodded, he continued, "I know she asked you to give her space and time to figure everything out, but don't give her too much. Go to her as soon as it is possible. She's far too independent for her own good, and her pride will get her killed one of these days. I know mine cost me Sookie, and it is something I will have to live with for the rest of my days. Don't let yours get in the way."

I looked at him, and frankly I was surprised at his little speech. Bill was never so verbose with me. "I don't intend to let her go, Bill. She is mine." I paused. "I have to say though, I thought you would relish the opportunity to get me out of the way?"

Bill smiled, but it was a sad smile. "She loves you, Eric. I had my chance, and I lost it. You make her happy, and she deserves to be happy. I told her once that the two of you were very much alike. You share a certain joie de vivre, as if you are both absolutely content to be in this time and place. Even in my human life, I felt the weight of my existence."

I took a sip of True Blood, and smiled at Bill. "You think too much, Bill." I clapped him on the shoulder. "Now go join that beautiful woman in the tub, and enjoy life a little."

He grinned at me, and I helped him out of the bed. After I left, I headed back to Fangtasia. I spent a couple of hours enthralling the tourists, and then Pam and I returned downstairs to check on Hot Rain.

After Pam took him down from the Judas Cradle, I tossed him a bottle of the crappy synthetic blood. After he drank it, and his wounds had healed, I had Pam chain him upright, in a spread eagle position. I could tell that he expected another whipping with the silver-tipped lash, but tonight I had a different plan. I produced a razor sharp knife, and with quick and precise movements, I started to flay him. I began with his face, and worked swiftly, so as to prevent any healing. I ignored his screams. When his entire skin had been removed, Pam and I unchained him, and then she lifted the lid on a large barrel that was sitting by the far wall of the basement.

"I know you did not know her well, but my former queen, Sophie-Anne, had a favorite method of punishment for those who betrayed her." We lifted Hot Rain, and lowered him into the waiting liquid. "She pickled them in salt water," I said as I dunked him under the liquid and resealed the lid. The screams were instantly cut off. I knew that in the salt water, his skin could not regrow, and the pain would be constant.

"Leave him there until I return."

"Are you going somewhere, Eric?"

"Norway," I replied.

"Well it's about time," she said, holding up a hand to forestall my argument. "I know you promised to give her time, but she has had plenty of time. I also know that you can not go directly to her yet, but she will feel you. More importantly, the instant the sun finally sets, you will be able to get to her. Your ticket is in the bottom drawer of your desk, under the extra calendars. It is an open ticket. Go bring her home, Eric."

I quirked a small smile at my child. "Thank you," I said. "You are in charge in my absence."

By the next evening I was on a flight to Trondheim, and for the first time in months, I felt hope.

_A/N: Yeah, nasty huh? I've put a link in my profile to the site I used for research on medieval torture devices/techniques. Honestly, my stomach was rather upset by the time I was done reading it. That said, it is soooo Eric. What do you think? Is Hot Rain getting what he deserves?_


	27. Chapter 27

_A/N: So, did E v. E whet your appetite for more? Any guesses about the hints? I'm so glad you all liked the last chapter. I was a bit worried that it might be too stomach turning, but y'all are really a sick, sick bunch! LOL! Thank you again for your wonderful reviews and pm's. They make my day, and make all the hard work worthwhile. _

_I also have to throw a whole lot of love to the ladies and gents, over at the LTEA thread at the HBO wiki, and my girls at the Northman thread at the Sookieverse. You are all such a fantastic support system for me. Thank you, thank you, thank you._

_As always, a big, HUGE thank you, and my undying gratitude to Gallathea and Kristin . . . The Betas . . . yes, those two mythic, goddess-like beings who keep my work from being meaningless piles of drivel.  
_

_I hope you enjoy this next chapter. *goes off and sits, and waits, and bites her nails*  
_

Chapter 26

As soon as I woke up, I felt him. He was close, and I could feel his pull on me even though I knew he wasn't awake. With a soundless sigh, I got out of bed, and walked to the window. I looked over the little town I'd come to know so well over the last few months, and realized it was time to say goodbye. At breakfast I told the two Britlingens my plans, and we spent a last, lazy day, wandering around the small shops. I bought small gifts for Amelia and Sam. Somehow, I didn't think either Eric or Pam would want anything from this place.

After dinner that night, I packed my bags, and prepared for our flight the next morning. I didn't sleep at all, preferring instead to watch as one of the final nights of the Midnight Sun slipped away. I could feel him when he awoke, and I sensed his impatience and excitement. It made me smile, a genuine smile, for the first time in months.

Batanya and Clovache had been right. I needed Eric, and I needed to reclaim our link if I was ever going to get past what Craig did to me. I hoped I was ready. I wanted to be ready. I missed his touch. I can't say that I felt confident that I was okay. I knew that I wasn't. There was still a dark place inside my soul, but I hoped that with time, and Eric's love, it would start to recede. For now, I just had to keep trudging along.

I also had to deal with Craig, but that could keep for the moment. He wasn't going anywhere, but until he was no longer a threat to me and my loved ones, I would never feel safe. Then again, I wasn't sure I ever would. Being a mortal in a supernatural world was a risky proposition in the best of times. Being a part-fairy, telepathic mortal, and bonded to a thousand year old Viking? Well, that just painted a bigger target on my chest.

We landed in Trondheim in the early afternoon, and went straight to the hotel. It was a beautiful nineteenth-century building, and it just oozed luxury. I discovered later that it was also one of the few that had made accommodations for vampire guests. I could feel him sleeping in one of the rooms converted for vampire use. I was beginning to register us into the hotel, when the man at the front desk said, "Ah! Ms. Stackhouse, your room has already been arranged."

I looked at him suspiciously, and took a peek into his head, before shaking my head knowingly. Eric. A part of me wanted to be angry at him for presuming that I would come right to him, but another part of me, the part that was learning to accept Eric for who and what he was, decided to enjoy the gesture.

"And my companions?" I asked, gesturing to the Britlingens.

"Also arranged for. Please, follow me."

He led us to the elevator, then used a key card to access the top button. The penthouse. Of course. Only Eric. The room he led us into was unbelievable. It was a two-story suite, which had two bedrooms; one for me, and one for the Britlingens. The floors were cherry wood, and the décor was distinctly nautical. It was dressed in warm beiges, browns, and blues, and while it was very masculine, it felt so like Eric that I instantly felt comfortable in it.

After being shown around the suite, and tipping the bellman, I decided to take a bath and a nap. I woke up around six, but the sun would not set for a few more hours. I went downstairs to dinner with Batanya and Clovache, and then decided to go for a walk. I walked aimlessly, with no particular purpose. The city was beautiful, with old churches covered in gargoyles, and many buildings dating back to the eighteenth century. I walked some of the old cobblestone streets, and just wandered. The city is surrounded by water and canals, and I found myself drawn to the water. It was nearing nine, and I knew I should head back, but ahead I saw a statue and decided to indulge myself in one more bit of history and culture.

I looked up and . . . _It couldn't be!_ I looked down at the plaque and began to read. When I finished, I felt Eric waking up, and I knew he would come to me, so I waited.

It didn't take long, and as I felt his approach, I asked Batanya and Clovache to make themselves scarce. I stood staring at the water, and felt him behind me. He did not make a move to touch me, and I could feel his uncertainty as to whether it would be welcome. I spoke first. "That's you, isn't it? I mean some of the details seem wrong, but I know that's you."

"Yes," he replied, with a sigh. "It has been so long . . . . That man had not existed for nearly a thousand years when this was made. It's a twentieth-century rendering of what I looked like."

"I've always known you were old, but this . . . this is part of history, Eric." I felt overwhelmed, and insignificant.

"We are all part of history, Sookie," he countered.

I turned to face him, and my breath caught in my throat. He was so beautiful. He was wearing jeans, and a lightweight black sweater, in a nod to the cool weather. His hair was held back at the nape of his neck, but strands were being torn loose by the wind that had kicked up and were dancing around his face. I nearly lost myself in his eyes, and the depths they held, but I shook my head.

"Eric, don't trivialize this! Leif Erikson?! You are freaking Leif Erikson!" I was nearly shouting at this point. "Leif from California," I laughed. If they only knew. "Northman. Clever. You really are that, aren't you? A true north man."

"What do you want me to say, Sookie?" He asked, and took a step toward me.

"I don't know Eric. I just . . ." and I took a deep breath, "I don't want to fight. This wasn't how I thought tonight would go, it's just that this just took me by surprise, and it's a little overwhelming." I stepped closer to him, closing the gap between us. "I'm sorry." And I began to cry quietly.

"Shh, my love." His large hand hesitantly reached out to me, and when I didn't flinch or pull away, he cupped my face and brushed aside my tears with his thumb. I leaned into his touch, grateful for it, for him, and so very grateful that instead of revulsion at the contact, I felt safety, and love. For the first time in months, I felt like maybe, just maybe, I might someday be whole again. He pulled me closer, enveloping me with his arms, and it felt like home.

"Eric," I whispered, and looked up at him. I gazed up into his eyes, and for an instant, everything else fell away. There was just us, and in that moment the rest of the world didn't matter. There were no psychotic telepaths, no revenge-crazed vampires, no bomb toting religious nuts, and no vampire politics. Eric bent his head, and as his lips brushed mine, I moaned with desire and need. It was all too brief, and then the moment passed, and the world came back into focus.

"Let's go, my love," he said, as he took me by the hand, and I knew he wanted to return to the hotel. We had a lot of time to make up for.

"Just a second, okay?" I asked, and turned back to the statue once more, marveling at the crazy twists and turns that my life had taken in a few short years, when it struck me. The irony of being there, in that place, was not lost on me. It was not intentional. Well, I meant to come there, but not for that reason. Freud would say I subconsciously chose it. I say fuck Freud. Sometimes a cigar really is just a cigar. I stood looking at the plaque, and shook my head. Even there, at the furthest reaches of just about anywhere, I couldn't escape him. I laughed. It was a dry, humorless laugh. The real ones had not yet returned to me. I didn't know if they ever would. I did know, however, that this seemed to be yet another sign, another acknowledgment, that I was inexorably tied to him. It made my decision that much more certain in my mind. It was meant to be after all. It was inevitable. It had to be done. I just needed to convince him.

He looked at me when he heard my laugh, his head cocked to the side as though trying to figure out what was going through my mind. I wasn't ready to tell him what I was thinking, so I said, "Just trying to get my sense of humor back."

I walked over to him, took his hand, and we headed back to the hotel. We went back to the suite, and I saw by the closed door that Batanya and Clovache had already returned. I took Eric by the hand, and led him to my room. He hesitated at the doorway, as if he was unsure that it was what I really wanted. And it was what I wanted. I wanted him. I wanted his kiss, and his touch. I wanted to wipe away the traces of Craig's touch with Eric's own. I reached up and pulled him down for a kiss. At first he seemed to resist, but then I heard him whisper, "Sookie," and his arms crushed me to him as he deepened the kiss.

I groaned into his mouth. I had missed this, missed him, so much. I turned him around, and backed him up to the bed, until it hit his legs, and he sat down. Eric did not push or hurry things. I kissed him once more, before I slipped my hands under his sweater, and lifted it up and over his head, throwing it somewhere across the room. My eyes swept over his chest, as my hands began to reacquaint themselves with every ridge and valley. I straddled his lap, and began to kiss his neck, nipping in places and running my tongue along his collarbone. I made my way back up, and kissed his jaw line, until I found his mouth once more. I tugged out the band holding his hair back, and wound my hands into his hair, as my tongue explored his mouth.

He kissed me back with so much love, and tenderness, his tongue flicking out to taste my lips. He kissed the corners of my mouth, and my chin, and he nuzzled my cheek. His hands stayed firmly at his side, clutching the comforter as my hands drifted down once more to explore his shoulders, and his back, and my lips trailed down his chest and I nipped lightly at his nipple. I heard him hiss, and saw him clench the bed tighter.

He was letting me lead. He would only go as far as I wanted, and I loved him all the more for it, but I needed him right then. "Eric," I moaned. "Touch me."

"Lover," he replied, his voice low and thick with want. His hands slipped under my sweater, as he continued to kiss me, and his thumbs rubbed circles on my stomach. Slowly, he slid them up and took the sweater off, and then he reached behind and unhooked my bra, sliding the straps off and tossing it to the side. He brushed my nipples lightly, and they pebbled under his touch. I sighed at the contact.

He bent his head and took one in his mouth, while he stroked, and pulled, and pinched the other. I began to rock my hips, grinding down on his hardness, and he growled in response. Without breaking our contact, he stood up, turned us around, and lay me down on the bed. He worked his mouth down my chest, to my stomach. I kicked off my shoes, and he flicked the button of my jeans open. He looked up at me, as if seeking permission, and I nodded. Slowly he pulled down my pants, taking my socks with them, until I was lying there in nothing but my underwear, which he pulled off as well. He took my left foot in his hand, and began to kiss it. First he kissed the big toe, then the top of my foot, then my ankle. He slowly worked his way up my leg, kissing, licking and nibbling, paying particular attention to the back of my knee. When he reached the top of my thigh, where it joined with my pelvis, he breathed lightly across my curls before starting the entire process over again on my right leg. By the time he was finished, I was panting with need, but I was also completely relaxed. His touch, his gentleness, was slowly erasing the memory of Craig's grasping, and pulling, and pinching.

"Eric, please," I pleaded.

With a touch that was almost worshipful, he slowly began to kiss my folds, and his tongue slid up, then down, and then in. His thumbs held me open, as his tongue worked its magic. I heard him whispering and moaning, "so good, so beautiful," and I arched my back, driving myself further onto him. He continued his ministrations, and then pulled away. I whimpered at the loss, but a moment later a groan escaped me as I felt his fingers slide in, and his mouth latch onto my nub. He moved his hand slowly and gently, suckling me and bringing me closer and closer to the edge, without letting me tumble over. I was whimpering with desperation. It had been so long, and I needed him so badly. I cried out in frustration, and then I heard him say, "cum for me lover," and he lightly bit my clit. I screamed out in ecstasy, as waves of pleasure coursed through me. He continued to lick, lapping up everything my body had to offer, as my body came down from its high.

I reached down and gently tugged on his hair, pulling him up to me. I pulled him to my mouth and kissed him, tasting myself there as my tongue explored his mouth. "My turn," I whispered. I pushed on his shoulder, until he rolled over. I ran my hands down his chest as I inched lower, until I was sitting on his hard length, and my hands reached the top of his jeans. I ran my fingers lightly under the waistband, feeling the soft skin hidden underneath, and the downy softness of his curls. He hissed, as I began to run my tongue along the same path, teasing and tasting. He bucked his hips up into me, but his eyes were closed, and his hands were clenched into fists.

"Look at me, lover," I demanded. His eyes shot open, and he raised himself on his elbows to watch me. I unbuttoned his jeans, and he lifted his hips as I tugged them down and off his long legs. I ran my nails up the inside of his thighs, and for a moment, I was sorely tempted to torment him as he had me, but I don't have the patience of my Viking, and I wanted to taste him. I reached the top of his thighs, and leaned forward, grasping the base of his cock with my hand, and flicking my tongue over the top and tasting the fluid that had gathered there. His resulting groan was deep and husky. I looked up, and saw him watching me with such hunger, that my stomach did a little flip of excitement, and I felt myself getting wet again. I swirled my tongue over the tip once more, then my mouth descended over him, while my hand pumped in time.

He felt so good in my mouth, rock hard, soft skin, and the sweet-salty taste that was just, Eric. I could feel his legs tensing, and with a final flick of my tongue, I pulled away. I looked up at him, and saw the need and desperation in his face. I moved forward and kissed him. When I broke away, I raised my hips, and placed him at my entrance.

"I love you, Eric," I said, as I slid down on his length. We groaned in unison at the sense of completion, and for a moment I just sat there, enjoying the feel of him filling me so entirely. I began to move, rocking my hips against him. This was so very right. I had been afraid that I couldn't do this, and that after what Craig had done to me, I would never feel such pleasure again. I've never been happier to be wrong. The feel of Eric's touch on my skin, and the sensation of him inside me, made me feel a bit more whole. It was like another piece of the Sookie puzzle had clicked into place. Batanya was right. Denying myself that pleasure would have given Craig even more power over me, and for the first time in months, I felt his hold lessen.

After a while, he rolled us over, so he was above me, and continued at the same pace, never taking his eyes off mine. Our lovemaking was slow, and reverent, and I have never felt more loved or complete. As I felt my climax once again approaching, I bared my neck to him. He looked at me, hesitant once again, until I said, "please." His fangs sank into me, and as he began to drink, we both reached our peaks and tumbled over.

"Sookie, my Sookie," he whispered over and over, as he pulled me to him, tucking me into his side. "I've missed you so much, lover, so very much." And I could feel all his love for me flow across the bond. It took a measure of control to retain my shields around him when I was swamped with so much emotion, but I did, and I felt a surge of pride at the accomplishment, from the knowledge that all these months of work and separation had paid off. He was safe from me. I knew that now. I let out a breath I hadn't realized I'd been holding.

I turned to face him, and his hand reached out to caress my face, my shoulder, and twine a lock of my hair around his finger. "I missed you too, Eric. Every day, and I hated that I had to be away from you. But I hope you understand why I did it. You do, right?"

He sighed. "I understand why you believe you had to, Sookie. I don't know that I agree with it, but I believe you felt it had to be done."

"I can live with that," I replied. "Eric?"

"Hmmm," he mumbled lazily.

"Tell me of your life here. Of your life before you were turned."

"That's what you want to talk about now?" He asked, amusement coloring his voice.

"Mmmhm," I murmured, as I snuggled into his chest.

He sighed, and began, "I was born in 970 A.D. . ."

_A/N: *peeks back in* So, um, what do ya think of my little surprise? And, are you all happy now? Was it lemony enough for you? Shall we all sing The Lemon Song? Or, should we find an old Viking song? _

_I promised I'd get back to the prologue, and I have. Now what? What is she up to? Just so y'all know, I had the prologue written first. I knew where I was going, I just never imagined it was going to take me 26 chapters to get back to it!_


	28. Chapter 28

_A/N: I'm so glad you all enjoyed the lemons in the last chapter, and the reveal of who Eric really is. Also, I was overwhelmed by the fact that this story has gotten over a thousand reviews. I'm humbled, and ever so thankful to all of you for taking the time to read it, and to leave reviews. Thank you all so much._

_Oh, it looks like most of you preferred The Lemon Song, lol! So, in honor of that, I give you Eric's POV.  
_

_To Galla and Kristin, my ever awesome betas, you guys rock._

_Enjoy.  
_

Chapter 27

I smiled as I awoke, enjoying the sensation of her proximity, only a moment later I could sense her agitation about something. She wasn't scared, just upset. I dressed and went to her. I found her by the water. She seemed to be alone, but I could smell the Britlingens nearby.

I inhaled, and took in her scent, mingled with the salty spray of the water being kicked up by the wind. I watched for a moment as her hair danced along her back, and whipped about. I wanted to take her in my arms, feel the warmth of her against my cold skin. She wrapped her arms around herself, and then she spoke.

"That's you, isn't it? I mean some of the details seem wrong, but I know that's you."

I knew what she was referring to, and I'd hoped she would not notice the resemblance. I'd hoped that the vagaries of time would have dulled any artist's rendering of me, and for most of the world, that is exactly what happened. I should have known, however, that she would see right through to me.

"Yes," I sighed. "It has been so long . . . That man had not existed for nearly a thousand years when this was made. It's a twentieth-century rendering of what I looked like."

"I've always known you were old, but this . . . this is part of history, Eric," she said, and I could feel her confidence wane.

"We are all part of history, Sookie," I told her. I didn't tell her that for most humans, their part in that history is meaningless. Like fodder for the cannons, most human lives are notable only for the fact that they exist at all, and otherwise they blend into the faceless sea of humanity. How could I explain to her that those who truly affect history, those who have a special place in the events of the world are few, and far between? I had been observing human history for a thousand years, and the most striking thing about it was its plodding consistency. Sure, there had been discoveries, advances, and changes, but humanity itself, the passions, prejudices, loves and hatreds that defined the core of it—that had not changed in all that time.

She spun around, her eyes sparking with the need to argue. Her blond hair was blowing behind her, and cheeks were flushed pink from the wind. Her eyes met mine, and for a moment I was frozen in place, locked in her gaze. Then she shook her head, and proceeded to shout at me.

"Eric, don't trivialize this! Leif Erikson?! You are freaking Leif Erikson! 'Leif from California,'" she laughed, but it was a dry and brittle laugh. "Northman. Clever. You really are that, aren't you? A true north man."

"What do you want me to say, Sookie?" I asked her, as I took a step forward. As much as I wanted to hold her, I was hesitant to spook her.

"I don't know Eric. I just . . ." and she took a deep breath, "I don't want to fight. This wasn't how I thought tonight would go, it's just that this took me by surprise, and it's a little overwhelming." She stepped closer to me, closing the gap between us. "I'm sorry." And then she began to cry quietly.

I was still hesitant to touch her, but I needed to comfort her, and I reached out my hand and said, "Shh, my love." I held her face in my hand, and wiped away her tears, and when she leaned into my touch, for the first time in so many months, I pulled her into my arms. It felt so good to hold her again, to feel her body molded against mine, and to feel her warmth spread across my body. I remember thinking that I would never let her go again.

Then she whispered my name, and we looked at each other, and time ceased to exist. Only the two of us mattered in this world, and I was going to spend the rest of her relatively short life ensuring her happiness. For a brief moment, pain flared at the thought of her eventual demise, but I knew she did not want to be turned. She had not told me in so many words, but I'd seen her sympathy for the Were that Hadley had turned, and it was just something I'd sensed through the bond. Sookie had always despised her otherness, and embraced her humanity with everything she had. I could not see her give that up, and no matter how much I wanted to keep her with me for eternity, I would not go against her wishes. If she ever decided she wanted to remain with me, I would happily turn her, but I would never do so against her will. It had to be her choice.

The spell was broken, and the rest of the world returned. I took her by the hand and said, "Let's go, my love." I wanted to go back to the hotel, and shut ourselves off from the rest of the world. We needed to reconnect. I won't lie, I wanted her badly, but I was not going to press her. We would do things at her pace, in her time. One thing the centuries have taught me is patience. I just wanted her in my arms again.

She asked for a moment, and turned to look at the statue once again. I heard her laugh, wincing slightly at the bitterness there, and I wondered if she would ever laugh in a carefree manner again. I felt something across the bond. A sense of certainty, as if she'd made a decision. I cocked my head in her direction and she told me she was trying to get her sense of humor back. Then she walked back over to me, placed her hand in mine once more, and we made our way back to the hotel.

When we arrived at the suite, and she began to lead me to the bedroom, I hesitated at the door. I did not want her to do this because she thought she had to. I did not want her to feel like it was something I was expecting after all this time, but she reached out to me and brought me in for a kiss. I held back at first, and then as her lips pressed against mine with more urgency, I whispered, "Sookie," and gathered her into my arms, while my desperation battled my self-control.

I poured all my love for her into my kisses, but I did not touch her. I would let her lead this dance. She needed to be in control, to regain what he'd taken from her, and I needed her back, all of her. She walked me back, until the back of my legs hit the bed. I sat down and she straddled my lap. As she trailed her hands over my chest, and then bit at my nipple, I felt my resolve slipping, and I clenched the bed clothes tightly. Then she moaned my name and begged me to touch her.

Slowly, I slid my hands under her sweater, my touch gentle. Her skin was soft, warm, and inviting, and I carefully removed her sweater and bra. As I ran my thumbs over her nipples, I heard her sigh and watched as they responded to my touch. I took one in my mouth, playing with the other with my fingers. I wanted to be gentle, to make sure nothing I did reminded her of him. She responded eagerly, grinding her hips down onto my lap and making me even harder.

I turned us around, and laid her down on the bed. After seeking her permission, I slowly undressed her. I needed to make sure she remembered that the choice was hers, and that not everyone took without asking. When she was bare and spread out before me, I knelt down and began to kiss her foot, and slowly made my way up her leg, before I repeated my actions on the other side. I wanted to worship her, and make her feel loved and relaxed. When she finally begged for my touch, I brought my mouth to her sex and slowly began to pleasure her. She tasted so good, better than my memory had allowed, and she was so beautiful as she writhed in pleasure, arching her back and pushing herself down further on my tongue. With my fingers and mouth, I brought her to her peak, and watched her beautiful face as she tumbled over, while I enjoyed every drop her body had to offer.

Then she reversed our positions, and with her little hands and pretty mouth, teased and licked and sucked, until I was desperate for release. She insisted that I watch her, turning my own words against me, and I nearly lost all control as I watched myself slide in and out of her mouth. And then she lowered herself on me, and told me she loved me, and it was as if these long months without her were just a bad dream from which I'd finally awakened. As I slid into her, I thought to myself that I was finally home. We made love slowly that night, enjoying the feel of every inch of skin, the glide of her wet sex over mine, and the flow of love between us through the bond. When she offered me her neck, I was surprised. I wanted nothing more, but I had to be sure it was what she wanted, and then she begged, "Please," and I sank into her, and I as drew, we both came, melding together. I pulled her close to me, and told her how much I missed her, and let my love flow unabated across the bond.

After a few minutes, she turned to me and told me how much she had missed me as well, and asked if I understood why she did what she did. I told her that I believed she had done what she felt was right, even if I didn't agree with it. Then she asked about my human life. Despite everything we had shared over the last few years, it was something we had never really spoken of. She believed I'd had a wife and children, but that was it. Now she knew more, and she needed me to fill in the details, so I began my tale.

"I was born in 970 A.D., in Iceland. My grandparents were originally from Norway, but had been exiled. My father was Eirik Thorvaldsson, also known as Eirik the Red. He was eventually exiled from Iceland, and made his way to Greenland. He created some of the first settlements there and became the de facto chieftain. When I was eight, I was sent to live with a man called Thyrker, a German who my father had captured, although he did not enslave him. I lived with Thyrker until I was twelve. He taught me to read and write, as well as how to speak both Celtic and Russian. Thyrker also taught me about trade, and the great sagas. It was also Thyrker who taught me weaponry, and how to fight. In all the important ways, he was truly my father. Whenever I wasn't with him, I was mingling with the sailors and watching the ships come and go. I loved the sea."

"Hold on," she interrupted, and then got up to go to the little refrigerator, before returning with a bottle of water and a bar of chocolate. Then she sat in front of me, with her legs crossed, completely naked. I could only stare. Where had this woman come from? Since when was my Sookie this unabashed about her nakedness?

When she caught my stare, she began to wipe her mouth with the back of her hand. "What? Do I have chocolate on my face or something?"

I laughed. "No. You've just never walked around so casually while naked before. It's a treat!" I told her, as I waggled my brows.

She finally blushed. "Well, Batanya and Clovache certainly opened my eyes about a few things, and made me realize a few things about myself."

I pushed her for details, but she was having none of it. "Oh no, you don't! No changing the subject. Keep going," she said, as she took a final sip of her water, and snuggled up next to me, her warm back against my chest, and her soft backside pressed up against me.

"When I was twelve, I was deemed a man, and sent back to my father's house—he was still in Iceland at the time. However, it was not long after my return that he was exiled, and that was when we moved to Greenland. When I was twenty-four I finally got the opportunity to captain my first voyage. I took a complement of men, as well as Thyrker, and we were tasked with bringing gifts to the king of Norway. Of course, the voyage did not go as easily as expected, and we wound up sailing too far south, and came upon the Hebrides. A storm came in, and we took shelter in the home of the lord of the island. It was there I met the woman who would eventually become my wife. Thorgunna was his daughter. When we left, she told me she was pregnant, and would bear me a son, but it was not until later that I would accept the child as mine."

Sookie turned around and stared at me. "What do you mean? You just left her? Pregnant?"

I brushed a stray strand of hair from her face, and sighed, "Sookie, those were different times. It was almost expected that I would come together with her. Do not judge us."

She looked slightly abashed, and then asked, "What was she like?"

"Thorgunna?" I asked rhetorically. "She was a strong, proud woman, and a good wife and mother. She kept our home well."

"Did you love her?" She asked.

I thought about my answer carefully. It had been so long since I'd thought of those days, of my mortal coil and those I'd left behind.

"I suppose I did, in a way. Times were different, my love. The match was a good one, and we were wed. She had already provided me with a son, so it made sense. I suppose that over time we grew to love one another, but," and I looked at Sookie, "it was nothing like what you and I share. That, I have never experienced with another being."

I saw tears form in the corners of her eyes, but she quickly blinked them back, and urged me to continue my story.

"After the storm passed, we set sail once more, and we then reached Norway in good time. I met the king, and we struck up a friendship, whereupon he invited me to stay for a time. It was during my stay there that I converted to Christianity . . ."

"You're a Christian?" Sookie asked in disbelief, and she sat up slightly, propping up her head with her hand, as she lay on her side.

I chuckled lightly, "I've been many things in my long life, Sookie, and I've studied many different religions, but yes, in my human life I was baptized a Christian. In fact, when I did return to Greenland, a year later, I brought a priest with me to help convert others. It was on my return to Greenland that I married Thorgunna, and claimed Thorkell as my son."

"What happened to him? To your son?"

I looked away for a moment, and then returned my gaze to her face. She was staring at me intently.

"He lived, and eventually he died. For a time I tried to trace my various descendants, but it grew to be too difficult a task, particularly when I had to move away. Today such a thing would be simple to do, with computer genealogy programs but then . . .," I allowed my voice to trail off.

"I'm sorry," she whispered, and she reached out her hand to touch my cheek. "Go on."

"Eventually I grew restless. I know I am thought of as a Viking and a warrior, and I've done nothing in this life to disabuse anyone of that idea since it keeps my enemies on their toes, but in my human life, I was a sailor. I fought when necessary, but I wasn't a raider; I was an explorer. That's why I have long hair, you see. Viking warriors kept their hair short, or it interfered with battle. Anyway, my heart was with the sea, so I decided to retrace the voyage of Bjarni Hergelfson. He had returned from a voyage when I was a young man, and told of lands he had seen while they were trying to reach Greenland. They had not stopped, but he said they could see from the boat that the lands were green and covered with trees. I wanted to find them.

"So, I bought Bjarni's boat, and set sail, with Thyrker and my crew. On that voyage we discovered Hellluland, Markland, and Vinland, or what today you call Baffin Island, Labrador, and Newfoundland, but I'm sure you know this already. I established a settlement in Vinland, but after I returned to Greenland, I never visited it again. Instead, my brother Thorvaldr, and later my sister Freydis made the voyages to Vinland, as we called it, but after my father died, I became chieftain and my responsibilities were to my people."

She giggled lightly, and it made my heart soar to hear it. "What is so funny?"

"You. Even as a human you were in charge! It has nothing to do with being made vampire; you're just a naturally bossy guy!"

I smiled at her. "I suppose I am at that."

"Go on," she urged me. "I want to hear more."

I gave an exaggerated sigh, and continued.

"One night, after I had been drinking, I was attacked on my way home. It was my maker, and the next time I awoke, I was Vampire. My maker was strict, but fair. In those days, vampires had to hide, even more than in the years prior to the Great Reveal. It was harder to blend in with a population, and people in small towns noticed when someone went missing. My maker, however, taught me how to glamour someone very well; you could say it was his Talent, and he was able to glamour numerous people at a time, thus we were able to remain in my home for years. With his guidance, even with the hunger of a newborn, I made few accidental kills, although that first year, there were many strange illnesses and fevers among the populace. In the summer, we would travel and move around, telling my people some story, or simply glamouring them. Those months were the hardest because of the short nights. In the winter, we enjoyed ourselves more. Eventually, however, people began to be suspicious, and we engineered my death. The amusing thing is that my death seems to be the one thing history has failed to record adequately.

"And that, lover, is the story of my life and death."

"What was he like, your maker?"

"That, dear one, is a story for another night. There is only a little time before I succumb to the dawn, and I don't want to spend it talking."

I bent my head to hers and captured her lips with mine. I turned her, and pulled her close to me, her back pressed against my chest, and I rained kisses on her neck and shoulders, as I lifted her leg and slid into her. Her tight, wet heat surrounded me, and I swore aloud. Her head fell back against my shoulder, and as my fingers worked her from the front, her name fell from my lips. This time, there was no hesitation on my part. She was mine once more, and I claimed her.

_A/N: __To answer **AwesomeHaci1521316's** question: **Have you already known of Leif Erikson or did you do some research for this part?** Great question. I knew about Leif Erikson, in a general sense. I knew who he was, and that he discovered North America hundreds of years before Columbus. However, I did not know the details of his history until I decided to write this story. I had to do a lot of research. Also, I did have to tweak and play with his date of death. What little information there is about that, indicates that he died around 1020 A.D., which means he was 50. We know Eric was not turned at 50, hence I made his maker able to glamour people so they could pretend for a while, and then made the implication that since there is so little information about his death, maybe he didn't die in 1020. Honestly, since CH first introduced him as Leif, when he was in disguise, I thought he was Leif Erikson. I wouldn't be surprised if that was originally her intent, but his date of death made it impossible for her._

_I hope you all enjoyed your history lesson.  
_


	29. Chapter 29

_A/N: Is that a collective gasp I hear? Yes, I'm updating in less than a week! Thank you all again for all of your reviews, alerts, and support for this story. I wish I could reply to each and every one of you, but I try to at least get to a few of you to answer questions when I can (without spoiling of course!). I'm glad you all enjoyed your history lesson, and the little interlude. Things are going to be ramping up once again._

_Thanks, as ever, to Kristin and Gallathea for their fantastic beta skills. Even armed with spell check and grammar check, I manage to murder the English language at times._

_To all my friends at the Sookieverse and the LTEA thread on the wiki, thank you so much for your support, your humor, and the fact checking when I can't remember a book detail. You guys are an endless source of fun!_

_Oh yes! Finally I remembered! I posted a couple of links in my profile to the hotel and room I used as inspiration for the hotel they are staying at in Trondheim. Go check it out!  
_

Chapter 28

I woke up a little after two in the afternoon. Eric had fallen into his daytime slumber with the early light. Trondheim was not above the Arctic Circle, so the sun did actually set, but not for very long. When it rose, I discovered why Eric had chosen this suite. The bedrooms could be made light proof, and with the push of a button, heavy metal shutters closed over the windows. I stretched and turned, looking at the sleeping form of my lover.

I couldn't help but wonder, and not for the first time, how my life had brought me to this point. I was a poor barmaid from a speck-of-dirt town, with little more than a high school education; yet here I was sleeping in the arms of the man who discovered North America, who had lived a thousand years, and was a powerful vampire, both physically and politically. Sure, I was telepathic and part fairy, but I still could not wrap my head around what it was that drew him to me so strongly. He could have anyone he wanted, but he chose me. I reached out, and brushed back the hair that had fallen over his face. My fingers traced the planes of his cheeks, and the gentle slope of his lips, before I lifted his arm from my stomach and got out of the bed.

As I walked to the bathroom, I thought back to the night before, and replayed our lovemaking in my mind. He was so careful the first time, so gentle, always making sure I was comfortable. I think he believed I was going to bolt at his touch. I can't say that I blamed him. Before I left, I could not stand to be touched at all. Even when Eric tenderly touched me and brought me pleasure, there were times when I thought of Craig, and I hated him all the more for tainting my time with Eric. I hoped that, eventually, those thoughts would stop, just as I'd stopped thinking of Uncle Bartlett every time Bill touched me, except that what Uncle Bartlett had done, horrible as it was, was not as violent as Craig's torture, and unlike Craig, Uncle Bartlett had never actually raped me. Perhaps it was because Bill had killed Uncle Bartlett, that I was able to put him out of my mind. Or, perhaps it was simply because I finally believed I was loved, and safe. I don't know. Either way, that was not the case now. Craig was still alive, and while Eric loved me, I knew that I was not safe, not really. If the last few years had taught me anything, it was that I was fragile, and I could be broken, and that no matter how good the security, I would always be at risk.

I showered and dressed, then went into the main living area of the suite. Batanya and Clovache were waiting for me, and Clovache smiled knowingly at me. I blushed lightly, but didn't rise to the bait. Instead, we all went to eat in one of the hotel's restaurants. While we were there, I outlined my plan to them. I knew they weren't going to like it, and they didn't. They argued with me for over an hour, and they made sure to remind me just how much Eric wasn't going to like it. Honestly, I was a bit surprised at their attitude.

I was going after Craig. I was not planning on doing so alone, however—I fully intended to take Eric and the two Britlingens with me. I reasoned that if I couldn't use my abilities against them, neither could Craig. If they could physically subdue him, and if he was hurt, I would be able to take him out mentally. They challenged the soundness of my plan. They wanted me to lead them there, and allow them to simply kill him. They were very matter of fact when they pointed out that there was no guarantee that I _could_ take Craig on. They also told me it was a foolish risk to have Eric come, pointing out that if Craig was able to incapacitate him again, he could use that leverage against me. Finally, they noted that it was quite possible that just because _I_ couldn't read them, it did not mean Craig couldn't. In which case, I would be handing myself to him on a platter.

I spent some time explaining to them why I thought I could take Craig on. With their help, I told them, I had been able to hone my gift, and yes, I was finally seeing it as a gift. When I went inside someone's head, I could _see_ the way things worked. I'd always seen things in people's heads, other than their thoughts, but I just never knew how to read the map before. Having watched Craig muck around in my head, I saw how it all worked. I knew I could dispense pain, or pleasure, with relative ease. Again, once I knew _where_ to apply the pressure, so to speak, the process was not too difficult. I had to admit, however, that I had never actually inflicted much pain on anyone, other than the occasional poorly behaved mother, and that I could not be sure I could, or would, do what was necessary. I also told them that I had worked on my shields, and that I'd been able to keep Craig out of my head while I slept, for a couple of weeks now. Of course, when my shields were up I had no real way of knowing whether he was trying to get in, but I just couldn't imagine that he hadn't tried in that time. Finally, I told them that I was certain I knew how to contain his power, although I had to concede that since I had not been able to practice that particular technique, my knowledge was only theoretical. Still, for the first time in my life, I had confidence in my abilities.

While the Britlingens were not completely sold on my skills, they did understand my need to confront Craig, and I think that was the only thing that finally turned them in my favor. As for Eric, I did some pointing out of my own, and asked them if they really thought I could stop Eric from going with me. In the end, they came up with a slightly altered version of my plan, to which I agreed. Of course, we still had to convince Eric. In the meantime, I spent the day acquiring the things we needed.

Have you ever heard a lion roar? I mean real up close and personal? When Jason and I were little, Gran once drove us out to the zoo in Alexandria. Jason dared me to go up close to the lion exhibit. I remember hearing a low rumble coming from the creature's chest, just before it let loose a loud roar. It scared me so badly, I screamed bloody murder, and cried for half an hour. I'd never seen Gran so mad at Jason. When we got home, she striped his behind with my grandfather's belt, and Jason spent the entire week doing my chores as well as his. Well, let me tell you, a furious, thousand year old Viking vampire sounds an awful lot like an African lion, only louder.

"Absolutely not!" he thundered. "I forbid it."

_Oh no he didn't!_ "What did you just say?" I felt fury rising from the pit of my stomach, and it wasn't being helped by the flood of anger coming across the bond. "Did you just _forbid_ me? I am _not_ one of your _assets,_ Eric! I am not your subject, either! I . . ."

"No, you are not, you are more important than that, you infuriating, stubborn woman! For once, would you stop putting yourself in danger, and let someone else handle the problem?"

Suddenly I realized that I wasn't just feeling his anger through the bond, but his fear. Fear for me, and what could happen to me. Fear of losing me.

I took a deep breath, and tried to set aside my anger. "Eric," I said, as I walked to him and put my arms around his waist, pressing my cheek to his chest. At first I felt him stiffen, but then he softened and wrapped me in his arms. "I have to do this." I looked up at him. "I need this, Eric." I pulled away slightly. "He's still here," I said pointing at my head. "And he's still here," I continued, pointing at my heart. "He touches everything I do, sullies _everything_, and I have to get rid of him myself. I have to do this, Eric," I repeated, and I buried my head in his chest. "Please, tell me you understand," I whispered.

I felt Eric's arms tighten around me, and he lowered his face to the top of my head, nuzzling me and inhaling my scent in that way vampires do. "I understand, lover, but I do not like it. I just got you back," and he paused. I looked up at him once more, and saw pain and fear, and tiredness, etched into his face. "When you were gone, when he had you . . . Sookie, I cannot bear that again."

"You won't have to," I whispered, and reached up to pull his head to mine, kissing him softly, and sealing my promise in the most basic way I knew how. He lifted me and carried me to our room, and we made love. It was tender and urgent, comforting and desperate, and a host of other contradictions. It was a confirmation of our future, and a possible farewell. As we were reaching our peak, I watched him bite into his wrist, and offer it to me. Whether it was because he wanted me strong for our confrontation with Craig, or because he simply loved the sensation of it, did not matter. He wanted it, and I gladly gave him that. As I took his bleeding wrist to my mouth and began to draw, he sank his fangs into my breast, and we both tumbled over in a surge of ecstasy and love that flowed through the bond, which at that moment seemed like a living thing, a pulse connecting us as never before.

When we were spent, and lying entwined, he said, "Promise me one thing."

"Anything," I replied, knowing he was going to give in.

"You will not risk yourself for me. No matter what he says, or does. I will not approve of this 'plan' unless you promise me that. He's already used me against you before, I cannot allow it again."

"I promise," I replied, and I meant it at the time.

We did not have much time before the sun rose again, and arrangements had to be made for us to travel via Anubis Air. We would be leaving during daylight, so we would need them to transport Eric from the hotel as well. We also had to contact Barton, to inform him that we would be in his territory again. He was gracious as ever, and since we were hunting a human, not a vampire, he had no intention of interfering. While I was on the phone, I heard Eric talking to the Britlingens. He was trying to renegotiate the terms of their contract, as it had never included making an assault, only protection duty, but they refused. It seemed they were going willingly: they wanted to go. I felt a hitch in my throat at their loyalty.

"You support this insanity?" Eric asked them.

"We support Sookie," Batanya replied.

"She must do this, Viking," Clovache added. "He took something from her, and she must take it back. You should understand this."

I could sense the frustration rolling off of him in waves, but to his credit, he said nothing. He just kept rechecking our bags, until I finally snapped at him in irritation. He was at my side in an instant, staring down at me, his eyes sparking with anger. "Unless you plan on telling me you have changed your mind about this 'plan' of yours, I will continue to ensure that everything is prepared for us. Is that clear?"

I felt suitably abashed. He was going along with this for me. He didn't like it, but he was doing it anyway. I shouldn't have snapped at him, and I told him so. "I'm sorry, Eric. I'm just nervous." He pulled me into a hug, kissed the top of my head and said, "I know, my love, but we'll get through this." I squeezed him a little tighter, and heard him chuckle. "It's good I don't need to breathe." I laughed a little as well, and just like that, some of the tension left the room. Soon after, the sun began to rise, and Eric went to his daytime rest.

I managed a few fitful hours of sleep before the alarm went off. Eric was already in a coffin, and Batanya and Clovache were awake and waiting for me when I stepped out of the room. I'd long since given up trying to figure out when, or if, they slept. The trip was uneventful, and about half an hour before we arrived, Eric rose and joined us in the cabin. He sat next to me, and took my hand. I wove my fingers into his, and leaned my head on his shoulder, drawing strength from him, and allowing him to calm me through the bond.

When we arrived, we found that Barton had set aside a car for our use, saving us the hassle of renting one. We settled in, and began driving. With only eight more hours until sunrise, we had no time to waste. As we approached the area I'd seen in Craig's head, I felt my heart begin to race, and a small trace of panic set in. Suddenly, I began to doubt myself. What if I hadn't protected my thoughts as well as I believed? What if Craig knew we were coming? What if this was a trap?

Sensing my growing doubt, Eric reached across the car and brushed his hand across my cheek. "We can still turn back. You don't have to do this, Sookie."

I took a deep breath, and began the meditative techniques Clovache and Batanya taught me. "No, Eric. I have to do this."

After another thirty minutes, I opened up my mind and searched for Craig. It was a risk, as it was possible he could as easily locate me. I was just hoping that since it was late, he might be sleeping. It took about ten minutes, but I located him, and soon we were pulling off the road near the farmhouse I'd seen in his head.

We all got out of the car. Batanya and Clovache were going in first, each armed with a hypodermic needle partially filled with a sedative. I needed him down, but not out. The two Britlingens ghosted ahead of us. I turned to Eric and said, "I love you." He pulled me to him and kissed me with everything he had. When he finished, I was breathless. He leaned his forehead against mine and said, "Just make sure you come back to me, min älskare."

Then we turned, and headed toward the house. The only warning I had was a tingling near the base of my neck, and then everything went black.

_A/N: Did you really think I'd given up on the cliffies? What do you think of the plan? LOL!_


	30. Chapter 30

_A/N: Awww come on guys! You know you love cliffhangers. Sure, you complain, but let's face it, you love the pain! You're a bunch of masochists. I'm gonna send you over to some of the Twi forums for BDSM training. You all need to learn some patience! Thanks again for all your reviews and support._

_I always wanted to give a little shout out to everyone who reviewed my one shot, The Divide. Since it it's a one shot, I don't have a new chapter a/n to thank you all in, so I figured I'd throw it in here. Again, I wish I could respond to each and every review, but then my kids would be even more neglected than they are. Just kidding. No, I'm not. Wait, yes I am, really. _

_My thanks again to Galla and Kristin for their beta work on this chapter. Kristin, I know my dear, I know. I'm sorry._

_As ever, my undying love to the ladies (and gents) at the LTEA thread at the wiki, and the to the ladies of the Sookieverse. You keep my wits sharp and my humor intact!  
_

Chapter 29

When I came to, I was restrained and my head felt fuzzy. I blinked several times, and when I turned my head I could see Eric. He was wrapped in heavy silver chains and appeared to be unconscious. "Eric," I called out. "Eric!" He didn't respond. I tried to reach out to him with my mind, but there was . . . nothing. I tried to reach out further, to see if I could sense the minds of those in the house, but I was completely blocked. The bond was still there, thank God, but my telepathy and all my new abilities were gone. I had no idea Craig was capable of that. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered why he had never blocked me before, but I dismissed it. The last time he held me, I barely liked to acknowledge my powers, much less know how to actually use them. I wasn't a threat to him, until that last day. Now, however, he knew better. Terror rose up from the pit of my stomach and overwhelmed me. How could this have happened? How had I miscalculated so completely? Where were Batanya and Clovache? Hope flared briefly, before I recalled that they were supposed to be the first ones in. If Eric and I were captured, they must have been captured, or worse. I felt bile in the back of my throat.

"Eric, baby, please, please wake up," I pleaded, but to no avail. His eyes did not so much as flicker. I looked around, trying to figure out where we were, and I realized we were in a barn, most likely still at the farm where Craig had been staying. I could hear the soft whinny of a horse off to the left somewhere, but from where I was, I couldn't see it. My legs were bound at the ankles and knees, and my hands were tied behind me at the wrists and elbows. I was lying on a hard-packed, dirt floor covered with straw, and I wriggled until I was on my side. Breathing heavily, I writhed and squirmed and contorted, until I managed to get to my knees. I realized there was a very good reason I was bound as I was; it restricted nearly all of my movements. Also, after all my straining, it began to hurt, and I could feel the ropes cutting into my skin.

From my new vantage point, I took a good look around. The exchange of blood with Eric the night before allowed me to see better in the semi-dark barn, which was illuminated only by the soft, pale light of a bare bulb near the entrance. I could see several horse stalls, but it seemed that only one had an occupant, and he was eyeing me with large, brown eyes that seemed to speak to me. Eyes that told me he understood how I felt, that he knew what it was to be confined, and to be broken. Suddenly, his nostrils flared, and a moment later I heard why.

"Hello, Sookie," Craig drawled, as he approached me, no sign of his previous injury in evidence. He gave me a heated gaze, raking his eyes over me. "You look beautiful." He squatted down in front of me and grabbed my chin in his hand, forcing me to look at him, forcing me to look into those beautiful, green eyes that were completely devoid of any spark of compassion. For a moment, it occurred to me that he would probably make an excellent vampire, cruel and merciless, and a hysterical giggle escaped my throat. Anger flashed across his face, and he spat out, "do I amuse you, Sookie?" He followed up with a sharp crack across my face. I toppled back to the ground, and tasted blood in my mouth.

"What did you do with Batanya and Clovache?" I asked. He looked confused for a moment: he might not have known their names, but he ignored my question.

Instead, he stood back up and walked over to Eric, before turning to look at me once more. "You really are fucking stupid, you know that? Did you think I wouldn't feel you coming? The moment you lowered your shields, I knew you were here. Although, I must say thank you for bringing me the Viking. Now, I can end your connection to each other. I told you at the beginning of all this that you were going to be mine, and I meant it." He ran his hand over Eric's head, almost tenderly, before he wrapped his fingers in his hair and yanked his head back. "I won't share you anymore, Sookie."

The scream that erupted from me tore at my throat, "Leave him alone! Don't you fucking touch him!" I saw Eric's eyes flicker slightly, and I struggled to get back on my knees. "I swear by everything that is holy, Craig, if you hurt him I will . . ."

"You'll what?" He spat back. From behind his back, he pulled out a knife and drew it across Eric's cheek, cutting a gash from his mouth to his ear. Wrapped in as much silver as he was, Eric was not only immobilized, but his body would not heal. He did, however, wake up, the pain reaching through to him. "Well, well, well, welcome back, Mr. Northman." Eric said nothing, but he looked at me as if he were trying to tell me something, while pushing calm at me through the bond. Then he hissed, as Craig ran the knife across his other cheek.

"Craig, please!" I was begging now.

"He's not so pretty like this, is he?" He taunted me, and then he took the knife to Eric's hand, and gripped one of Eric's fingers before slicing it off. My screams echoed off the barn walls as I felt the searing pain through the bond, but Eric did not make a sound. He gritted his teeth, and kept his eyes on my face. "I'm going to take your vampire apart piece by piece while you watch, Sookie. And then, I'm going to remind you exactly what happens when you cross me." His voice was cold and bloodless, and I realized what I had to do.

I inched forward slightly, and I kept my voice low, but I didn't need to fake the fear and pain in it, "please, Craig. I'll do anything you want. I'll . . ."

"Sookie, no!" Eric interrupted.

I ignored him as he continued to plead with me, and went on, "I'll go with you, Craig. Anywhere you want to go. Just please, please don't hurt him." I begged. I begged like I'd never begged for anything in my life.

Eric sat there, his eyes wide, staring at me, "you promised," he said. "Sookie, don't do this." I think it was the closest I will ever come to hearing a vampire beg.

"Don't, Eric. Please. I can't . . . I can't." Tears were spilling down my face, and I turned to Craig. "I will be yours, if that's what you want. Just please, spare Eric. Please." If he wanted me to grovel, I would. Anything, anything he wanted, as long as he didn't hurt Eric.

Craig began clapping. "Oh, brava, brava. That was beautiful." He turned to Eric. "Wasn't that beautiful? She really is incredible, isn't she? How does it feel to know that from now on, I'll be the one enjoying her charms? I'll be the one buried deep inside her, and it will be my name she screams out."

Eric growled at Craig, and I could see him struggle against the chains, but there was nothing he could do. Craig turned his back to him, knowing full well Eric was incapable of anything. He looked at me. "You'll go with me?"

"Yes," I sobbed.

"You'll do anything?"

I nodded.

He looked back at Eric and smiled.

"You'll be mine?"

I nodded again.

He smiled, but it didn't touch his eyes. "You have a deal. I'll set him free at dawn. Then you and I will leave."

Eric finally spoke up. "Sookie, do not do this. You have no guarantee that he'll keep his word. He's going to kill me anyway." Eric's thousand years of experience, in survival, politics, and negotiating, was making itself known.

Craig smiled. "Do you doubt my honor, Viking? Don't worry you are still quite valuable to me. You have something else I want."

"Hot Rain," Eric replied.

"Yes. I need you to release him. He made certain promises to me, and I intend to see that he keeps them."

"And once I'm free, what is to keep me from reclaiming what is mine?" Eric asked.

"Because as much as I want Sookie, I _will_ kill her if you try to take her back, and then I will find your child, and I will kill her too."

The most terrifying thing about Craig's words was his absolute conviction that he was capable of doing just what he said. The truth was, however, that he had me over a barrel. I had to believe he would keep his word, and release Eric. Otherwise, we were both going to die there, in a barn in some strange corner of the world, and no one would ever know what happened. No, I had to gamble on Craig's promise. He needed Eric alive, and so did I.

He looked at me again. "Mine?" he asked for a second time, and when I nodded yes, he smiled once more. "Now, let's show him how well you do _heel_," he teased, using the memory he previously ripped from my brain. "Come here."

I awkwardly shuffled forward to him, on my knees. My arms were still painfully bound behind me. When I reached him, he grabbed me roughly by my hair with one hand, and unzipped his pants with the other. "Now," he said, "open that pretty mouth of yours." He gripped my jaw painfully and forced it open, his fingers squeezing so tightly, I had no hope of biting down.

I closed my eyes, unable to bear seeing Eric's face, but willing to do this for him, to save him. At any cost, even my soul.

Craig violated me for hours, forcing Eric to watch. At first, Eric was shouting at Craig, and threatening him with a litany of horrors. I turned my head to the side, unwilling to watch Craig, and unable to stand seeing the anger and pity coming from Eric as I lay there unmoving, but complicit in my own violation. I noticed a dog, a yellow Labrador Retriever, chained to the other side of the stable. I didn't know how I missed him before. He was running around in circles and whining, and as Craig continued to force himself on me, he started barking, until Craig threw something at him, and then I closed my eyes.

When his threats failed to stop Craig, Eric tried to send calm through the bond to me, but after a while, he could no longer contain his anger, and it nearly overwhelmed me. I opened my eyes again, and looked at the dog. He was staring intently at me, with his wet, doggie eyes, and they seemed filled with . . . worry? I wondered how a dog could feel such a human emotion, until another wave of Viking fury slammed into me, as Craig continued to thrust into me and destroy every shred of self I had worked so hard to restore. Finally, however, as dawn approached, I stopped feeling anything from Eric. It was as if he'd gone numb, or blocked the bond. I wasn't sure. It didn't much matter. I was dead inside. I'd retreated back inside my head. I would do this. I would give Craig my body, but he would never have _me_. I was going way inside, and burying Sookie Stackhouse. When morning broke, she would no longer exist. Craig would have an empty prize, but Eric would be alive, and that was all that mattered.

The dog was barking at me once again, but I was tuning him out, until the sound was just a slight buzzing in my ear; a repetitive cadence that I couldn't quite follow. I heard a noise, and realized that Craig was moving about. I saw that he was bringing a dolly over to where Eric sat, immobile, his face like a statue, not a single emotion evident there. The gashes had stopped bleeding, but they were still open and raw. Craig adjusted the dolly under Eric's chair, and began to roll him away. After a moment, I realized that Craig was wheeling him in the direction of the barn doors.

Craig had untied my legs in order to take me, and although my arms were still bound, I was able to lurch to my feet, and stumble after him.

"What are you doing?"

"I'm taking him outside," he replied calmly.

I ran in front of them, trying to block the doors. "No! We made a deal! You said you would let him go. You're going to kill him!"

He knocked me aside, and laughed. "I said I would set him free, and I will." He opened the door, and I could see the fading gray sky and hints of pink in the horizon. The sun would be up in minutes. He wheeled Eric outside and set him down. We were facing east, and when the sun rose, Eric would be in its direct path.

"What about Hot Rain? If you kill Eric, he'll never be released. Pam will kill him." I had no real clue what Pam would, or wouldn't do, but I was desperate.

Craig smirked at me. "You're such a trusting fool, Sookie. There is nothing Hot Rain promised me that I can't get from another vampire. They would all want to be my maker, my master, and harness my abilities. I just still needed you."

I scrambled up again and ran towards them. I fell once, cutting a bloody gash in my leg, but I ignored it and ran towards Eric. I stood in front of him, pointlessly hoping to block him from the sun's rays. "Craig, please! Don't do this. You have me. You've won. You don't have to do this."

He laughed. "Of course I do, Sookie. You are bonded to him. He would never stop coming after you, but once he is gone, you'll be all mine." He was completely crazy. Even his voice was tinged with the hysteria of the insane, like a madman in a bad b-movie.

Oh God! This wasn't happening. How could this happen? We had planned so carefully. I had worked so hard, only to be shown how completely weak I was. I failed Eric. I failed Batanya and Clovache. I failed my friends and my family. I turned to Eric, sobbing. I was kissing his face over and over, "I'm so sorry my love. Forgive me. I'm so sorry."

"Shhh, Sookie." He finally spoke. "There is nothing to forgive." And he captured my lips with his, pouring all of his love into the kiss, and saying goodbye. Then I felt arms around my waist, and Craig pulled me roughly away. I was screaming for Eric, and cursing Craig, but he held me fast. As the sun crested the horizon, he forced me to my knees and whispered, "Now watch."

And I did. I watched as the sun's rays began to slowly burn Eric's skin and hair. I watched as he began to smoke, and his skin began to char. He made no sound. I watched as he finally began to burn, and I could smell the sickly sweet odor of burning flesh. _Not like this_, I thought. Eric should not die like this, chained and defeated, but in a blaze of glory, in the midst of battle. I wanted to vomit, but I forced myself to keep my eyes on Eric. At the end, I would not let him be alone, even for a second. He turned toward me, his face an unrecognizable, charred mockery of humanity, and whispered, "min älskare." And then, with a small shudder, his burning body collapsed in on itself, and he was gone.

I felt something inside me snap as the bond was severed, and instantly there was a profound emptiness where I once felt the comforting buzz and hum of his life. Now there was silence, a void, an infinite chasm which nothing would ever fill again. I screamed and sobbed as I never had before, not even when Craig tortured me. I thought I had known pain in my life, but nothing had prepared me for this. Finally, my cries and screams subsided, and I began to laugh.

Craig looked at me, and I laughed harder, "You've lost. You have this body, but it is nothing now. It is empty, and I am dead. You'll be fucking a corpse." I barked a short, cold laugh again.

"Shut up! Shut up!" Craig shouted at me, but I couldn't stop.

"Did you really think I could ever want you, Craig? That I would ever give myself to you? And you thought I was stupid!" I laughed once more, and then Craig was towering over me. I could hear that dog barking again, and I remember thinking it was sweet that it seemed to care. Then, I heard a thud, and everything went black again.

_a/n . . . . . *wonders if Meads is still offering to babysit* *runs off and hides*_


	31. Chapter 31

_A/N: Wow! I know you are all ready to kill me. What can I say? I take stories where they go. I can't say I planned this out 20 chapters ago. In fact, I think the last chapter was decided only the chapter before. What did Jessica Rabbit say? "I'm not bad, I'm just drawn that way." LOL! I write as it comes and I make no apologies. So, to those of you who have decided to continue reading the story, I thank you. Truthfully, only a few of you threatened to stop reading it and I hope that's true. I'm touched and humbled by the response. I know most of it comes from a deep and abiding love for Eric, regardless of what my story brings, but many of you made a point to tell me how invested you were with the story, and for that I'm ever so grateful._

_Once again I have to thank Kristin and Galla for their fucktastic beta skills. Also, just so you understand how things work - Galla and I discuss things out, so she knew what was coming. Kristin is sort of like my beta tester, as well as my beta editor. She had no idea what was coming with that last chapter. She's who I gauge your reactions off of, and I still admit to being completely unprepared for the deluge of reviews and pm's I received for the last chapter. So, you all need to give it up to Kristin for living with this for nearly two weeks before you guys had to._

Chapter 30

I woke to searing pain across my cheek, and the sound of Sookie's voice, and found her on her knees, bound. Sutherfield was hovering over me, a knife dripping with my blood in his hand.

"Well, well, well, welcome back, Mr. Northman," he gloated. I ignored him and focused my attention on Sookie. I tried to send calm to her through the bond, but I could sense her growing hysteria. I hissed as Sutherfield's knife tore across my other cheek. The silver binding me so thoroughly had weakened me, and although after a few minutes the bleeding stopped, the gashes remained raw and open.

Sookie began to beg. "Craig, please!"

"He's not so pretty like this, is he?" he taunted her. I kept my eyes trained on her, even as I felt him grab my finger. I knew what was coming. A thousand years of experience told me what was coming, but there was no way to prepare her for it, and I was too weak to fully block the bond. He sliced through my finger cleanly, and although I managed not to cry out, Sookie's scream ripped through the air, voicing both our pain. "I'm going to take your vampire apart piece by piece while you watch, Sookie. And then, I'm going to remind you exactly what happens when you cross me."

I continued to try to send calm to her through the bond, as my mind desperately worked out how to get her out of this alive. I felt her decision a split second before she spoke.

Her voice was low, and soothing, as she pleaded, "Please, Craig. I'll do anything you want. I'll . . ."

I finally spoke, "Sookie, no!" But she ignored me, and continued to plead with him, offering herself, offering everything to save me. I stared at her uncomprehending. She promised. She promised she would not do this. "You promised," I reminded her. "Sookie, do not do this," I begged. I don't think I've begged for anything for hundreds of years.

"Don't, Eric. Please. I can't . . . I can't." Tears were spilling down her face as she continued, turning her face back to Craig, "I will be yours, if that's what you want. Just please, spare Eric. Please."

Sutherfield began clapping, and I wished to watch his face as I ripped those hands off. "Oh, brava, brava. That was beautiful." He turned to me. "Wasn't that beautiful? She really is incredible, isn't she? How does it feel to know that from now on, I'll be the one enjoying her charms? I'll be the one buried deep inside her, and it will be my name she screams out."

My mind's voice howled with rage at the thought of him touching her, violating her once more. I growled at him, and began what I knew was a useless struggle against the silver binding me. A part of my heart swelled with love, with the knowledge of what she was willing to suffer for me, while simultaneously I raged against her for agreeing to it. She promised. Just twenty four hours earlier she promised she would not let him use me against her, and here she was doing just that. She was breaking my heart along with her promise.

Sutherfield turned his back to me, and faced her. "You'll go with me?"

"Yes," she cried.

"You'll do anything?" he asked.

She nodded silently, tears still streaming down her face.

He turned and looked at me with a gloating smile.

"You'll be mine?" he asked, purposefully using the vampire terminology.

She nodded once more, and I heard him say, "You have a deal. I'll set him free at dawn. Then you and I will leave."

My many years of experience in negotiating, in politics, in surviving unsurviveable situations, set my senses tingling. "Sookie, do not do this. You have no guarantee that he'll keep his word. He's going to kill me anyway."

Sutherfield smirked. "Do you doubt my honor, Viking? Don't worry; you are still quite valuable to me. You have something else I want."

My synapses fired rapidly, "Hot Rain," I replied.

"Yes. I need you to release him. He made certain promises to me, and I intend to see that he keeps them."

"And once I am free, what is to keep me from reclaiming what is mine?" I asked, knowing full well he had no intention of freeing me, and hoping to get him to admit it so she would see the lie for what it was.

"Because as much as I want Sookie, I _will_ kill her if you try to take her back, and then I will find your child, and I will kill her too."

I sensed his utter insanity, and his conviction that he would do just what he said. I said nothing in reply. He would kill Sookie if I was not careful. No, I had to find a way to escape, and get to her before he fractured her completely.

He turned back to Sookie. "Mine?" he asked again, and she nodded. My face betrayed nothing, but I could not help the pain that slipped across the bond to her. "Now, let's show him how well you do _heel_," he teased her, somehow turning my words against her, using _my_ words to hurt her. "Come here."

I watched as she awkwardly shuffled forward to him on her knees, her arms still bound behind her. When she reached him, he grabbed her by the hair with one hand, and unzipped his pants with the other. "Now," he said, "open that pretty mouth of yours." He gripped her jaw so tightly, I could see the white of his knuckles, and he forced her mouth open, making sure she could not bite down. Sookie closed her eyes, and I helplessly watched as he began to violate her mouth. I impotently watched as I felt her horror, her revulsion, and her immense love for me, course through the bond.

Then, he began to violate her in every other way. I watched every second, tormented beyond measure, and absolutely powerless to help. A thousand years on this earth, with immeasurable power. A thousand years of enemies falling at my feet. A thousand years of surviving. A thousand years of winning. Only to be brought to my knees by two humans. One consumed by hatred, and the other by unbridled love, and both more powerful than any vampire. She was going to be the final death of me.

I was no longer silent. I began cursing Sutherfield and threatening him with every horror I'd ever inflicted, thought of inflicting, or had heard of. I think I may have made a few up. Suddenly, I heard my name. I looked about, but the only people I saw were Sookie and Craig, and her eyes were closed in staunch refusal to look at me. I shook my head, but heard it again. I turned in the direction of the sound, but the only other living thing I saw was a horse, staring at me with its large, brown eyes. I began to fear the loss of my sanity. Horses can't speak. I started to return my attention to Sookie, when I heard it loud and clear.

"VIKING!" It was accompanied by a sound slap to my face. My eyes flew open and I found myself staring into large, brown eyes. Brown eyes attached to Clovache's face.

"What . . ." I began, as I registered that I was on the ground, the night sky clear above me. "Sookie!"

"She's here," Clovache replied, "but I cannot wake her."

In a flash I was by her side. She too lay on the ground, apparently unconscious, but I knew what was happening to her.

"He has her," I told the Britlingen.

"He is sedated, as per the plan, and shackled inside the barn," Clovache countered.

"He's in her head. He was in our heads, but he has her. He is making her believe it is real. I believed it was real. I could feel it." And I saw realization dawn on the woman's face. "Sookie," I called to her, and shook her slightly.

"How long?" I asked her.

"It has only been ten minutes since we arrived," Clovache replied. "We went in ahead, as we discussed, and subdued him. When I came out to inform you, you were both on the ground, motionless. I tried to rouse Sookie first, but when I couldn't, I tried you. It took me a few minutes, but it worked."

Ten minutes. Hours of horror in the span of ten minutes. I had not dreamt in a thousand years, but I did seem to recall that time moved differently in the realm of dreams.

"Sookie," I shouted at her, shaking her harder. Her head fell to the side. I continued yelling at her, but she wasn't waking up. "Why won't she wake?" I asked, not expecting an answer. I tried a few more times, but finally realized it was to no avail. I picked her up and ran to the barn, Clovache on my heels.

Batanya was there, standing guard over Sutherfield. He was sedated, but conscious. So much for believing it would hinder his abilities. I set her down, and strode over to him. "You will release her, now!" I ordered.

He laughed, and then in a voice slurred by drugs, said, "Even if I did, she would still remember it all, feel it all. Don't you?" He laughed again, and then groaned as if in pleasure. "She really is amazing, isn't she? Man to, well, dead man, tell me, do you enjoy her mouth as much as I do? Because I have to say, I think it may be one of my favorite parts. Then again, she is so very hot and tight, isn't she?" I punched him, and he laughed drunkenly again. "Do you want to know what's happening now?" he taunted. "She's about to watch you die. I love watching her beg."

I turned back to Sookie, "min älskare," I whispered to her. _Forgive me_, I thought. Forgive me for not protecting you better. Forgive me for wasting so much time. Forgive me, forgive me, forgive me. I heard Craig laughing once again, and I stood, walked over to him and with a well-placed blow to the head, I knocked him out.

As soon as Craig was unconscious, Sookie began screaming, and I was at her side immediately. She looked terrified, panicked, and began whispering, "You're dead! I watched you die. Oh God! Oh God!" Her hands reached out to touch me, to make sure I was real, and I engulfed her in my arms, as she sobbed against my shoulder.

I made soothing noises, and said, "I'm here. I'm here. It wasn't real. It was Craig. I'm here, Sookie. It wasn't real."

Her sobs slowly subsided, and I felt her taking a deep breath, then she pushed away and stood up. I marveled at the determination in her face, at the sheer force of will she was displaying. I was awed by how the world knocked her down time and time again, and she always stood up. She looked at the Britlingens, "The humans inside?" she asked, referring to the owners of the farm, who Craig had been forcing to take care of him.

"They are subdued, but they will be frightened when they wake."

"Eric will glamour them," she said. She looked at me, and I nodded. "Wipe every trace of him from their minds."

Then she walked over towards Sutherfield. I saw her take a deep breath and close her eyes. I could tell she was using the meditation techniques the Britlingens taught her. I began to walk over to her, but without even opening her eyes, she held out her hand, stopping me. "He's mine," she said, and I'd never heard her voice so cold. She walked closer to him, touched his arm, and then she smiled, "I'm in." Her voice sent icy tendrils down my spine. "Craig, wake up," she said in a sing-song voice. When his eyes finally fluttered open she smiled, but it did not touch her eyes. "There you are," she cooed, with the sincerity of a snake telling the mouse it wasn't hungry. My heart twisted.

He smiled at her, "Couldn't stay away, could you?"

"You've been a very naughty boy, Craig," she said, and his smile faltered slightly. "You remember what happens to naughty boys, don't you?" His smile fell completely. "You taught me so much, Craig. Even today I managed to learn something from you. Here, let me show you. How's your hip?" she asked, and suddenly, he was arching his back and screaming in agony. I heard the snap of bone, as his spasms fractured the barely healed wound. He sagged back in his seat as she apparently released him, only to begin screaming once more. She leaned over to him and whispered in his ear, "Now, it's your turn to scream."

"Sookie!" I called out. I know she needed vengeance. I could feel her need for it pulse through our bond, and God help me, I understood, but to watch her do this was like having my heart cut out with a spoon. She spun on me, her eyes dark, ablaze with a fury I had never seen before. "Don't you dare try to stop me, Eric Northman! Don't think I don't know what you've been doing back home. Did you think I wouldn't feel it? The anger? The bloodlust? The satisfaction? I felt all of it, Eric, and now it's my turn. Hot Rain was yours. Craig is mine." She turned back to him. And despite what it was doing to me to watch her reduced to this raw fury, I let her, because she was right. However, I would be lying if I said I'd never been more horrified in all my long years. I admit to a certain amount of hypocrisy. I knew that if it was another vampire doing this to Craig, I would not be bothered, although the thought of a vampire with these powers was somewhat terrifying. I knew that if it was Pam, instead of Sookie, I would be feeling pride. But this was Sookie, and seeing her like this was just . . . wrong. She was goodness. She was forgiveness. She was love, and softness, and all those tender things I had long forgotten until she awakened them, but he had changed her, and I wanted to weep from the loss.

Over and over she lashed out at him, until he was a sweating mass of jelly, sitting in the stink of his own filth. Finally, I walked over to her, and put my hand on her shoulder. "The sun will rise in two hours," I said quietly. We needed time to clean up, and to get me to safety. She nodded, and then said, "Just one more thing." I watched as her eyes turned even darker, and then saw Sutherfield's head snap up, and a look of terror unlike anything I'd previously seen crossed his features.

"NO!" he screamed.

"Oh, yes," Sookie replied. "Most definitely, yes."

And then he began to whimper, and I heard him cry out, "No, no, no! No, Grandmother! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! Please don't hit me." And he continued sobbing.

"What did you do?" I whispered, and I felt an odd sense of horror welling in the pit of my stomach.

"Do you remember when I told you what he showed me on the plane? About what happened to him? Now it's his turn to dream; only I've set it to play on a continuous loop. I did add a few other details, but he will never wake up from this dream, and it will never change." Then she smiled, and said, "And Eric, I want to make sure he lives a very nice, long life."

I stood back from her, and for the second time since Sutherfield first took her, I wondered if I would ever get all of her back.

_A/N: Happier now? LOL! Yes, I'm cruel, I'm evil, I should be a Disney villain! But really, didn't it just fit so well? So, do you agree with Eric? Is she scaring the crap out of you too?_


	32. Chapter 32

_A/N: I have to say I find you all interestingly split on whether Sookie is scary, or doing exactly what she should be doing. Maybe I'm a bad person, but if someone had done to me what Craig had done to her, I may have even tried to one up her. Disney villain, remember?_

_Thank you all once again for your wonderful reviews and pm's. I know I can't reply to all of you, but I try to send out a few each time. The support for this story stuns me each day. *shakes head in disbelief* _

_As always, my undying gratitude to Galla and Kristin. Besides their fantastic beta skills, my days would be so boring without them. *hugs her girls*_

_dramamomma, this early posting is for you. Enjoy.  
_

Chapter 31

It took about one hour for us to arrive at the hospital, and another half an hour to have Craig admitted. Bethlem Royal Hospital is one of the most respected psychiatric institutes in the world, despite its early history, and Craig was going to be receiving top notch care. I almost felt bad for the doctors who would, inevitably, feel that they failed him. He was not going to be cured. I made sure of that.

Bethlem, or as it was once known, Bedlam, is located in south east London. A call to Alair Barton helped us secure a bed in what is arguably the most famous mental institution in the world. I cannot deny that a small part of me wished it was still the eighteenth century, when people would pay to come see the lunatics, and poke them with sticks, laughing at their antics. Nor can I deny that I received a perverse thrill at the fact that today, in the twenty-first century, Craig would receive such stellar care, that he was likely to live a very long life. This, more than anything, was what I desired. Perhaps that made me a bad Christian. So be it. I decided I wanted to embrace the Old Testament; an eye for an eye. I was done turning the other cheek.

Even though I had taken back some semblance of who I was, and even though I was able to reconnect with Eric, a part of me would _always_ be touched by Craig. I would forever have his filthy stain upon my soul. How could I not? He had irrevocably altered me in the most fundamental ways. I no longer saw the good in people. I no longer _wanted_ to see the good in people. Doing so left me vulnerable. No, the only people I could trust were those who had proven themselves to me. Never again would I trust someone until they acted badly. I now assumed they would, and could hope to be pleasantly surprised if they didn't. I may have reclaimed my power. I may have reclaimed my womanhood. However, I would forever be marked by Craig Sutherfield.

Throughout my life I had been shaped and molded by men who abused me. I did not know what it was about me that attracted such men to me, and frankly, I no longer cared. What I did know, was that from the time I was a child, my body and my soul had been scarred by these men. Uncle Bartlett, Bill, even my own brother had taken his hand to me, and then Craig . . . each took a little piece of me. Each took a small piece of my soul, and I would never get it back. I was not going to let that happen, ever again.

When I "woke up" from the dream, or whatever you'd like to call the horror that Craig had forced on us, I was in a complete state of panic. I had watched Eric die. I had _felt_ Eric die, and the smell of his burning body was still in my nose. Even now, so many hours later, I can still feel the hole it tore in my heart, in my soul. I felt a small shudder run through me, and bile burned the back of my throat as I recalled how it felt when the bond was snapped.

_Never again_.

Eric and I had briefly discussed what happened on our way to the hospital. He told me how Clovache had woken him up, and how he had "seen" her as a horse. Then he told me how he tried to wake me, and that he couldn't until he'd knocked Craig out. Apparently, I'd underestimated his ability to function while sedated, but conscious. Until he was unconscious, I wasn't able to gain control of him. Then I chuckled darkly and said, "That explains the dog."

"What dog?" Eric asked.

"A blond Labrador Retriever," I smirked at him. "At some point, a dog showed up and started barking, and kept looking at me and worrying about me. It was like he was trying to talk to me, but when I woke up, there was no dog. I must have heard you a little."

He didn't say anything, but something told me that Eric did not like the idea of being represented by a dog, even if it was one named after a place he discovered. I wasn't sure, but I thought I heard him mutter something about shifters and dogs, before he cursed in another language.

We did not discuss the details of what happened while we were under Craig's control, nor did we discuss what I did to Craig. When I was done freaking out over what Craig had inflicted on us, I realized what he'd done. I was surprised that he was able to take us so quickly, and maintain it after being injected with the sedatives I provided, but still, I had to admire the simplicity of it. The "dream," or whatever you want to call it, was so vivid, and seemed so very real, that I was convinced that my abilities were totally blocked. After I awoke, I realized how Craig had accomplished this. I had to admit, I'd underestimated his ability, not only to function while drugged, but to strike so quickly and without actually being in our presence. That said, I instantly understood the mechanics of what he did, and when he was unconscious, it was child's play to slip in and take control. Craig may have had years to refine his technique and his control, but I was a quick study. I applied the same principles of what he'd done to Eric and me, but I reset his brain while I was in there. Months of training and studying the different brains I'd ventured into had paid off. Once mapped, the human brain was relatively easy to manipulate. There was no way he would ever be able to undo what I'd done. In fact, there was very little free will left in Craig at all.

Dawn was approaching, and we did not have much time, but still, I wanted to see where Craig was going to be housed. The exterior was a nondescript brick building, with white, double hung, divided light windows, and a copper clock tower on the roof. Craig was going to be a resident of Gresham 2, a twenty-four hour staffed ward, for people suffering from acute mental illness. It was a start. We were not sure if he could remain there for long-term "treatment," but he would be there for a time. I just wanted to ensure that he got the best care, so that his suffering lasted as long as humanly possible.

We made our way to Barton's home once more. It was the closest place that we, or rather Eric, could safely spend the day. Eric said very little in the car, and he let even less slip across the bond, and then the day dragged him to his slumber almost as soon as we arrived in our room. I stayed awake a little while longer, as Batanya and Clovache came to say their goodbyes. Now that the threat was gone, their contract was up. Of course, they had already gone above and beyond the requirements of that contract, and I counted them as my friends.

It was a surprisingly touching farewell. For all of their tough exterior, Britlingens are emotional, and they hold their friends dear. I thought myself lucky to be considered one. The reality was, we did not know when, if ever, we would see each other again. The Britlingens' presence in our world was rare, and it took a lot of magic to bring them across.

"Farewell, Sookie Stackhouse," Batanya said, as she hugged me. "Remember yourself."

"Good luck, Batanya," I replied. "I hear your man's sister is rather large," I teased, earning me a rather sharp thump to the back. "And thank you."

"Did I hear you say large? Because I seemed to hear something about a certain Viking," Clovache teased, but I cut her off with a strangled cry. There were just some things I still wasn't comfortable talking about. She chuckled lightly. "Take care, little sister," she said, and I smiled from the knowledge that our friendship was not based solely on their duty to me. "He is a good man, for a vampire." That was high praise coming from the Britlingen. They don't trust vampires as far as they can throw them.

Once they were gone, I made my way back into the light safe chamber Barton had given us, undressed, and crawled into bed next to Eric. I was exhausted, but sleep did not come easily. I could not stop replaying the events of the previous night. I hated that, once more, I'd been at someone's mercy, albeit for a short time. I was so tired of it, so tired of always being a victim. I longed for security. I longed for strength. I longed for the world to stand still for a while so I could catch my breath.

I closed my eyes, but all I could see was Eric's charred face, and the way his strong, beautiful body simply collapsed in on itself, like it was no more than an illusion, or a puff of smoke. I could see myself on my knees, begging, or on the ground, being taken, and I was disgusted at how easily that could happen, did happen, and may happen again. I began to feel, and taste, and smell Craig on me once again, and I burrowed myself closer to Eric. No. I was not going to let him ruin this now that I had it again, and I inhaled Eric's scent, attempting to replace Craig's. I ran my fingers over his slumbering form, and committed the feel of him to memory, trying to replacing all others. I marveled at the way his sleeping body responded to my touch. I leaned over and kissed his mouth, my tongue darting out to taste him; his lips parted slightly, and I heard him whisper my name as sleep overtook him once more. With the feel of him against me, his scent in my nose, and the taste of him on my lips, I finally succumbed to sleep.

The days were still long in England, and despite my exhaustion, I managed to wake up before Eric. I took a shower, ate something, got back into bed with Eric, and thought about what I would do next. Well, thought about how I would do what I wanted to do next. The "what" was already determined. I looked at the clock and realized Eric would be awake in a few minutes. I quickly undressed, straddled Eric, and began kissing his neck, jaw, collarbone and chest, sometimes using my tongue, sometimes nipping lightly with my teeth. After a few moments, I felt his response press against me, just before I heard a low moan escape him. A minute later, he opened his eyes, and whispered, "Lover." I smiled at him, and kissed him, tugging at his lower lip with my teeth before I released him.

He closed his eyes for a moment again, and then said, "Sookie, we have to talk." I have to admit, I was surprised that Eric, of all people, wanted to talk at _that _moment, but I also knew it wouldn't take much to convince him to shelve that discussion. I knew it from the way his body responded to me, and by the lust I could feel emanating across the bond. I leaned over, my breasts pressed against his chest, my hair tickling his face and neck, and whispered in his ear, "later." Then I lightly ground my hips against him. He growled in response, and I grinned. _She shoots. She scores._ I bit his earlobe for good measure and teased, "of course, if you would really rather talk . . ." He never even gave me the chance to finish the sentence, and claimed my mouth with his.

I broke off the kiss to catch my breath, and ran my nails down his sides, raking his skin roughly, but not drawing blood. He hissed, and I felt his cock twitch in response. I slid down his body, until I held him in my hand. I squeezed tightly, watching as a drop of liquid appeared at the top. I wasn't in the mood to tease, or take it slow. I needed him, badly, and in one, swift movement, I took him into my mouth as far as I could. His resulting moan flamed the growing heat between my legs. I reveled in the feel of him in my mouth. I ran my tongue along the thick vein pulsing on the underside, before plunging him back into my mouth. His hips bucked in response, and I could feel him harden even more and begin to throb slightly. I released him from my mouth, and earned myself a slight growl, but quickly climbed up and straddled him once again, impaling myself on his hard length. I couldn't wait anymore.

"FUCK!" he yelled, as I felt myself sink onto him, filled completely. I rose up, until just the tip of him remained inside, and then slammed back down. "Anxious, are we?" he teased, and then he grabbed my hips and began thrusting in time with me. It was hard, and fast, and we both needed it desperately; we needed to reconnect, needed to feel alive, to celebrate our victory. I brought my hand down, enjoying the slick feeling of him sliding in and out of me. "Sookie, cum for me," he demanded, and with my fingers keeping time to our movements, that's just what I did, screaming out his name as I felt myself come apart. Without even pulling out, he flipped us over, and took me from behind. His fingers were digging into my hips, and I would probably have bruises, but I didn't care. I dropped to my elbows, and he was able to go even deeper, hitting my favorite spot over and over. Within moments I was back on the edge again, as I felt his thrusts coming faster and faster, and then he leaned over and bit me. I tumbled right over that edge, clamping down on him, and I felt him grab my hips, tightly pulling me to him and stilling his movements as he came deep within me. He pulled me to his chest and lay down, still inside me. He cradled me to him, and began to move slowly, gently, until I felt him harden once more. His strokes sped up a little, but the urgency and desperation was gone. We were simply two lovers enjoying each other, and taking pleasure in the perfection of our union. Our bodies were molded together like two pieces of a puzzle, and a light sheen of sweat from my body added to the slip and slide of our movements. The smell in the room was heady with sex and blood, and it inflamed our senses more, surrounding us in a haze of love, and lust, and satisfaction. We both came deeply, as our climax amplified itself through the bond, which once again pulsed with its own life, as if it too sought this reconnection.

We lay there for a little while, Eric's large arm holding me tightly to him, while his other hand toyed idly with my hair. Finally he said, "Lover, you can wake me up like that any time."

I turned my head and smiled at him, and then kissed him lightly. "I thought you might like that," I replied.

Then he said, "But we do have to talk. We have to talk about what you did yesterday."

I tensed slightly and slid out of the bed, reaching for robe I'd discarded earlier and slipping it on, before I returned to the bed and sat on the edge. That was not what I wanted to discuss, but I knew that Eric wouldn't let the matter drop, so I asked, "What exactly do you want to know?"

He looked me in my eyes, his gaze piercing. "First, I want to know why you broke your promise to me."

At first I was confused, but then realized that he was referring to the scene Craig had conjured. I had promised not to sacrifice myself for him. Well, he couldn't be mad at me for that. Could he? It wasn't even real, and I told him so.

"That's not the point!" he responded, angrily. "At the time, we had no idea it was not real, and you broke your promise! How am I supposed to trust you?"

I was stunned. Of all the questions I thought I might have to answer, this one never crossed my mind. I instantly felt my anger rise. "God! You are so high-handed! What else was I supposed to do? Watch you suffer? Watch you die? He had us over a barrel; you know that!"

"I suffered anyway, Sookie. Do you think I didn't suffer watching what he did to you? How can you not understand that? And, if I'm not mistaken, I 'died' anyway, didn't I?"

Tears burned my eyes as I listened to him. "How dare you?" I seethed at him. "Did you really expect me to just sit there and allow it to happen? I can't do that! I'm weak. I'm human. I can't just compartmentalize how I feel, like you can! I love you Eric Northman! And if you think I will ever just sit back and allow someone to hurt you again, you have another thing coming!"

"Is that what you think? That I just 'compartmentalize' my feelings? That I would not do the same thing for you? I will always place you first Sookie Stackhouse. Never doubt that. Never." He had moved, and was towering over me, standing next to the bed, his hands gripping my shoulders tightly.

His words echoed in my head. Place me first. Isn't that what I'd always wanted? I felt a sob tear out of me, and before I knew it I was crying, and I was asking him to forgive me, and then he was enveloping me in his arms and trying to soothe me. The fight was over almost as quickly as it had begun, but I think we both felt a heaviness lift from us. We had already declared our love to each other, but this went further, and spoke of deep commitment, of the future.

I laughed a little and said, "I always seem to leak around you."

He smiled and replied, "Well, at least I'm not wearing a shirt for you to ruin this time. Come," he said as he pulled me back to the bed, sitting with his back against the headboard, and placing me between his legs, so I could lean against his chest. "There's something else, Sookie. Yesterday, what you did," he paused, and took a breath, "that was an awesome display of power. Are you okay?"

"Is this where you give me the Spiderman speech?"

"Spiderman?" He asked, and he appeared genuinely confused.

"Yeah, you know? 'With great power comes great responsibility,' yada, yada." I replied.

He laughed. "You're quoting comic books to me now?"

"What can I say? I grew up with an older brother."

He smiled at me for another moment, and then said, "No. I'm not going to give you a speech. I just wanted to know how you felt about what you did yesterday."

I looked at him, puzzled. He was the one with a thousand years of experience dishing out vengeance. He sensed my confusion, and went on, "Sookie, you've never done something like that before."

"I felt powerful," I told him, truthfully. "It felt good. I felt like I was balancing the scales. You should know what it feels like. I know you know what it feels like," I told him, reminding of the fact that I knew what he'd been doing to Hot Rain back in Shreveport.

I could sense that he was somewhat frustrated with my answer, but I still couldn't get at what was bothering him. "What is it, Eric?"

"I am Vampire, Sookie. I have had a very long time to come to terms with any pain I inflict on another being. I was just . . . concerned that, perhaps, it was bothering you."

"Eric, does it bother you, what I did?" I couldn't even believe that I had to ask the question, but it seemed like it really did bother him.

"Yes," he answered bluntly. Eric may not always tell me everything, but what he does tell me is always the truth. My actions yesterday bothered him, a lot.

"You are such a hypocrite, Eric! So it's okay for you to do whatever it is you've been doing to Hot Rain, or anyone else you see fit, but not me? Is it okay for Pam? Or are you being sexist?"

"Of course it's alright for me and for Pam to do these things. We are vampires. We have," he paused as if looking for the right word, "a different moral compass. Our perspectives are shaped by very long lives."

I really wasn't surprised by his answer, and truthfully, it made sense. Maybe I should have wondered then at the fact that despite my relatively short life, I _was_ okay, very okay, with what I'd done to Craig. Instead, however, I decided to bring up what I'd wanted to talk to Eric about.

"About that," I said. I pulled away from him slightly, and turned around to face him. I took a deep breath, and looked him in the eyes. "Eric, I want you to turn me."

I honestly didn't think that anyone, even myself, was capable of surprising Eric, but it seemed I was wrong. If the look on his face was any indication, he had no clue that was what I was going to say, and if the situation were any other, I might have burst out laughing.

He slid out of the bed and paced around the room. "Why?" he finally asked, his back to me.

Was he kidding? He wanted to know why?

"Why? Because I'm tired of getting the shit kicked out of me! I'm tired of being the frail human that needs protecting! I'm tired of people seeing me as weak, and as a victim. I'm tired of being a pawn in the supernatural world. I'm tired of being scared. I'm tired of being used. I'm tired of thinking I'm going to die all the time. I'm tired of it all, Eric. I want to be strong. I want people to see me as someone to reckon with. I don't want to be used anymore."

He finally turned back around and stared at me for another moment. There were so many emotions crashing through the bond, I couldn't make sense of even one of them.

Then it was his turn to surprise me. He looked me straight in the eyes and said, "Absolutely not."

_A/N: So, all those who thought the dog was a shifter . . . ummm, no. I know I didn't give many clues, but c'mon . . . Labrador?! Yes, a tiny bit of Clovache's yelling, and Eric's (once he woke up) was bleeding through. I hope you enjoyed the lemons. I thought Eric and Sookie deserved them. Now, what do ya think about Sookie's request? **Btylor** gets a shout out here for figuring out that's what she was going to ask him way back in the review to chapter 27 (errr, 26, damn system counts the prologue as 1.) Anyway, hats off to you Btylor!_


	33. Chapter 33

_A/N: Hello my lovelies! Once again I would like to thank all of you for the phenomenal reviews for the last chapter. You guys make me happy and sad, all at the same time._

_For **sephyir**: you asked "how could Sookie see the dog even before Eric died?" Craig was still conscious and manipulating the "dream." Therefore, even though Eric was awakened mid-way through the scenario, Craig played it out for Sookie as if nothing had changed. Therefore, she registered him yelling at her, but the "dream" continued on. I hope that helps._

_To my lovelies at LTEA and the Sookieverse, you guys make this happen.  
_

_Once again my undying gratitude goes to my betas Kristin and Gallathea, without whom I couldn't do this.  
_

Chapter 32

"Absolutely not."

After all this time, wishing and praying that she would change her mind, that she would choose to spend eternity with me, she finally asked me to turn her, and I'd said no. Pam would have probably laughed at me but, frankly, I was angry. Despite my love for her, despite every sacrifice I'd made for her, despite my clear desire to have her by my side for all of eternity, she wanted to become a vampire so she wouldn't feel _weak_, not so that she could spend her life with me.

She did not want eternity with me. She did not want to cleave herself to me. She wanted to stop feeling the frailty of her humanity. Five years earlier, I may have understood this. Five years earlier, I may have encouraged this. Five years earlier, I may have granted her this request. Now? Her request gouged my heart. She had awakened a need in me that I'd thought the millennium had erased. I was still Vampire. I still saw the pettiness of humanity. I still felt superior to most humans, and I still saw most as cattle, as nothing more than a source of food and occasional pleasure. However, Sookie had also made me see that I hungered for more, and that I could not continue to hold myself entirely aloof from the humanity around me. She made me want to find a way to straddle a line between my vampire nature, and the humanity long buried within me.

Her eyes flickered through a range of emotions, beginning and ending, however, with shock. It was clear she could not believe I had refused her. Did she not understand me at all? I tore my gaze from hers; turning away before my hurt and anger surfaced and became uncontrolled.

Perhaps I simply loved her more than she loved me. It sounded petty, even as I thought it, but perhaps it was simply a factor of her relative youth. I'd had a thousand years to come to this place. She'd had less than thirty. Perhaps she wasn't ready to truly feel and understand what I was feeling? I did not like to trivialize her feelings, or to patronize her, yet I could not help but feel that nagging doubt. It was not a feeling I was used to, nor was it one I enjoyed.

I also had to admit, if I was being honest with myself, that her comments wounded my pride. If I had protected her as I should have, if I had not failed her so completely, she would not feel this way. She was, effectively, telling me that not only was she hurt because of my failure, but that she expected to be hurt again and again—that she knew I would fail her again and again. How could she still love me knowing I failed her so completely, and while expecting me to do so again? My pride demanded that I prove to her she would be safe with me, that she would never again be hurt if she was by my side.

************************************************************************************

His words echoed in my head. _Absolutely not._ I couldn't believe it. I stood there stupidly staring at him, as I tried to work my brain around his response, but I couldn't make any sense of it. He may never have come right out and asked me to become a vampire, but he'd hinted around the subject many times, and every time I rejected the notion, I sensed his frustration. Even before we'd been intimate and before we'd fallen in love, my mortality worried him. That night, so long ago, when he'd driven me to the orgy, he'd told me that my mortality was something he thought about, was concerned about. And then, after everything I'd been through, after all the near misses and injuries, _then_ he decided to deny me?

I finally found my voice. "Then I'll ask someone else. Bill, or," I almost said Pam, but I knew that she would never disobey him if he told her not to, "I'll go to Texas and ask Stan." I sounded petulant, and I knew it, but I was beyond angry. How dare he make the decision for me? After everything I . . . we'd been through, how could he?

He was towering over me in an instant. "You would give yourself to them? You would make yourself subject to them? You would give them power over you? The power of a maker over a child?" he thundered, and his eyes were flashing with anger. "You are mine, Sookie Stackhouse. If one of them so much as touches you, if any other vampire or human so much as touches you, I will kill them where they stand, do you understand me?"

A smarter person would probably have cowered before that kind of rage. Well, I never claimed to be that smart, and instead, I chose to go toe-to-toe with an angry, thousand year old, Norse vampire. "Yours? For how long? Until the next asshole decides to take me? Until Felipe decides he wants me? Until a mountainside collapses and buries me?" I watched as his eyes darkened even more. "Or is this just more convenient for you? I mean I've got what, forty? Fifty more years? Max. Then you'll be free to move on, right?"

He stepped back from me as though I'd visibly struck him. "You're killing me," he whispered, and turned away.

What? Suddenly, I wasn't feeling so self-righteous. All of my anger escaped me, like a balloon losing its air after it has been pricked by a pin.

"Eric," I said, as I walked to him. I placed my hands on his shoulders, pulling on him to turn him around. That he did was because he wanted to, not because I had any hope of making him. "Eric, what do you mean?"

"Is that what you really think, Sookie? That I don't want to turn you so I don't have to spend eternity with you?" He asked softly, as his eyes held mine. "After everything, after all of this, do you really think so little of me?" He threw back at me, and I felt shame burn my cheeks and the embarrassment spread all the way down to my toes.

"Then why?" I demanded.

"Because it isn't what you really want. Because you're doing it out of fear. Because I couldn't protect you. Because I failed you. Because not once did you say it was so you could spend eternity with me."

His words cut me, but I couldn't deny their truth. Not once _did_ I say "I love you. I want to spend forever with you." I couldn't refute it, and yet, I still couldn't shake the fear. He was also right that a part of me blamed him. No. Not blamed him exactly, but didn't believe he could protect me. He could not be there all the time. It was a fact of life, or unlife, for him. I didn't blame him, but there it was. I needed it because he _couldn't _protect me all the time, no matter how much he wished to.

I was still in shock that this had gone so wrong. I was so sure that if I couched it in terms of reality and practicality, traits Eric had always prided himself on, that he would agree, and yet there we were, arguing about a romantic gesture. I reached through the bond, not wanting to violate his privacy by reading his thoughts, and I tried to gauge exactly what he was feeling. I sensed such hurt, and anger, and love, and . . . fear. Fear? Eric was afraid of me.

"Are you afraid of me, Eric?"

I saw his shoulders tense, but he looked me in the eyes. Whatever else one could say about Eric, he never flinched from looking you in the eyes. "I'm not afraid of you, Sookie. I'm afraid for you. What I saw yesterday . . . Sookie, that wasn't you."

How could I tell him? How could I tell him that yes, it was me? I was not the innocent girl who wandered into Fangtasia wearing a white sun dress anymore. I was not the innocent girl who believed that, regardless of what he'd done to me, I should save my boyfriend. I was not the innocent girl who believed that people would eventually understand and accept the supernatural world. It took me being beaten, raped, staked, shot, kidnapped, nearly blown up, and a host of other trials, to realize that I was not, and could not be, the same person that I was. How did Eric not see that? But there was something else. I could feel that he was holding something back.

"What else, Eric?"

****************************************************************************

"_What else, Eric?"_ She asked, and for once I didn't know how to respond to her. I didn't know how to tell her that the thought of her without her humanity, without those loving and forgiving traits, without the grace her grandmother had instilled in her . . . the thought of that person becoming a vampire possessed of the abilities she now had, gave me great pause. Imagine the power. Imagine the possibilities.

Now imagine the potential for corruption.

Absolute power corrupts absolutely. It may be a cliché, but clichés exist for a reason: they offer truths. Truths we otherwise refuse to look at, unless they are couched in terms so overused that we try to ignore them. Still, they niggle at us. They make us stop and think, even as we laugh at their seeming irrelevance. We look at our friends, make fun of the masses, and pretend we are loftier and that such homilies are beneath us, but in the end, those statements are succinct reminders of important lessons of the human, and vampire, condition.

Watching Sookie that day, as she unleashed her awesome display of power on Craig, was a chilling reminder of that truth. The thought of such power, coupled with the dissociative and easily compartmentalized nature of a vampire . . . well, I was not ready to contemplate that yet.

"Eric," she prodded, "I do love you. You know that. I know you feel it. And I do want you—for now, for the next forty years, or for the next thousand. For however long you want me," she said, as she wrapped her arms around my waist and placed her head on my chest.

Her words were a balm, and she was right. I could feel it, her love for me. It was something I really never doubted. The only thing I'd doubted was its intensity. Still, a tiny part of me felt it was too little, too late. It was like the difference between someone buying you the perfect present because they _knew _you wanted it, or them buying it because it was on your wish list—yes, it's nice that they listened to you, but it's even better when they intuit you. For the first time in nearly a thousand years, I took the easy way out. "One year, Sookie. Give me one year, and if you still want to be turned, then I'll do it," I said, hoping to buy time. Time to make sure it was what she wanted. Time to make sure it wouldn't be the biggest mistake of my existence. Time to torment my soul with the thought that I could have her by me for eternity, if only such happiness would be allowed to me. Time to torment myself with the reality that, Sophie-Anne's gift aside, no child stays with their maker for that long.

I heard her sigh before she replied, "Fine. One year." Then she looked up at me. "But I won't change my mind," she said. I fervently hoped she wouldn't, and surprising myself completely, I found myself _praying_ that she wouldn't. I just hoped I'd have _her_ back by then.

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One year. He asked for one year. I suppose in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't too much to ask for, and yet I couldn't help but feel there was something else he wanted to say, that something more was bothering him.

Still, if nothing else, I could feel his hurt at what I'd failed to say, and I swore to myself that I would make that up to him. Of course I wanted him. Of course I wanted to be with him forever. Who wouldn't want that? Now, I just had to show him.

"Eric, one year from now, or ten, I will want you as I've wanted no other man. Give me a thousand, and I will still say 'more,'" and I wound my hands around his neck. "I love you, Eric Northman. I love all of you; your past, your present, and whatever the future brings. Now, show me how much you love me," I demanded, as I pulled his head down for a kiss.

A brief moment of hesitation, and then his lips were working against mine in perfect harmony. A millennium of those kisses? I could not even begin to fathom what led me to ever resist the idea.

I felt his hands grip my hips and his fingers dig into me, and all I could think was: more. All barriers were broken, and the bond between us was like a floodgate suddenly opened. Why had I ever fought against it? I'd been a consummate fool. I was swamped with a nearly overwhelming feeling of love, desire, and need. Need. To be needed in that way is like no other sensation. It makes one heady with power, lust, and happiness, and it shot through to the core of me.

His tongue parted my lips and I moaned. Would I, could I, ever stop wanting this man? Could the wild thrill he sent through me even be dampened by time? His insistent lips continued their magic, as his fingers began to roam across the landscape of my body. Each touch felt like the first time, and yet, each was as familiar as my own. My veins burned with the heat of my blood, and I throbbed with need . . . with want . . . with love.

Hands, fingers, mouth, tongue; he was everywhere I wanted and needed. As his mouth laved a wet trail down my neck, my hand found him hard and ready, still naked as the moment he rose from the bed.

"Fuck," he whispered, as I tightened my grip on him.

"Please," I replied, in a voice husky with desire.

My nipples pebbled under his touch, and ached as his lips sucked and his teeth nipped, until I thought I might come undone from that alone. "So beautiful," he whispered, as he kissed the undersides of my breasts and his hand ghosted along the inside of my thighs.

I slid down his body to my knees, still gripping him, stroking him slowly and enjoying the feel of soft skin over hard steel. I looked up at him, and found his eyes focused on me as I slid my lips over him. I felt his hand tangle in my hair, as he gripped the back of my head. "Mine," I heard him whisper, as his hips began to rock and he hit the back of my throat.

"Mine," he repeated once more, as his hand gripped tighter and his thrusts became stronger, forcing me to still my movements as his became faster.

"Mine," he cried out, as I felt him empty himself down my throat.

Before I could even finish cleaning him up, I was on my back, with my leg thrown over his shoulder, and his tongue greedily lapping up the moisture that had pooled between my thighs. I heard him growl lightly, then whisper, "mine, mine, mine," between licks, as I writhed and moaned. He slid his fingers into me and began kissing his way back up my body, as he continued his mantra of possession, "mine, mine, mine," he whispered with each kiss—claiming every inch of me—until it was an unrelenting chant in my head, and I began to reply, "yours, yours, yours," as his lips burned my skin, invisibly marking me. He reached my breasts, and once again tormented my taut nipples. "So fucking perfect," he whispered, "and mine," he growled, as he resumed his oral tattooing of me, occasionally grazing one of my breasts or nipples with his fangs, scarcely piercing them so that only a drop of blood escaped before his tongue healed it. His fingers continued to play me, sliding in and out in a delicious rhythm, slowly stoking a fire in my belly that began to blaze white hot, until it finally roared through me, searing me from the inside out, and before I could even breathe, or utter a sound, his mouth was between my legs again, and this time he bit as he suckled my clit, his fangs sharply piercing me before he began sucking again, drinking in my blood and my juices, and as the second wave of pleasure tore through me, I screamed "Yours!"

*******************************************************************************************************************

After her grudging acceptance of my terms, I felt her love for me course through the bond, and then her words: _Now, show me how much you love me._ I don't think I've ever heard Sookie be so demanding, and it turned me on completely. I wanted . . . no, needed to show her how much I loved her, how much I wanted her, but more than that, I needed her to know that she was mine—now, in a year, in a hundred years—she would always be mine. I realized then that I was irrationally and completely consumed by her. For the briefest of moments, this realization gave me pause, and then I melted into her kisses.

When she slid down and took me in her mouth, I was lost. This, her, this feeling, it was mine. I needed her to know she was mine. I needed her to know I was not going to let her go. I needed her to know that I wanted her forever, or for however long fate allowed. I allowed my inner animal to surface and lay claim to what was mine.

The hot, wet, silky texture of her mouth was exquisite, and my animal growled in approval. I gripped her by the hair, and began staking my claim. I began to whisper as the wet slide of her lips moved over me. I repeated myself as I began to fuck her mouth, holding her still as she continued to work her tongue over me, and I roared it out as I shot my release into her waiting mouth.

With vampire speed, I threw her on her back and buried my face in her folds, reveling in her taste. She was so wet for me, from pleasuring me. My beast began its mantra, as I ran my tongue up her slit, gathering her juices, and teasing her. I slid my fingers into her, enjoying the feel of her wet heat, as I worked my way back up her body, claiming every inch of it, until she was chanting with me. I reveled in the sound, and if my beast had its way, it would mark her permanently, but I satisfied myself with laving her stomach, hips, breasts and neck with open mouthed kisses, licks and small nips. Occasionally, I pierced her with the tip of a fang, and allowed myself a minuscule taste. My fingers continued their work until I felt her muscles clench around them, and her body spasm with her release, and before she could even cry out, my mouth was on her once more, and I bit into her soft folds, suckling her clit, and drinking all of her in, until she screamed out her submission.

I grabbed both her legs, drew them up and thrust into her, without letting her come down from her release. "Say it again," I demanded, as I drove myself deeper. "Yours," she panted. "Oh God, Eric! Yours!" She cried out, as another keening wail erupted from her, and I felt her muscles clamp down on me. Her eyes were closed, and her head was thrashing from side to side, as the sensations overwhelmed her. I could feel it through the bond, but I was determined to push her further. She wanted me to show her how much I loved her? Well, I would. I would show her how much I loved her and needed her. I would show her that she was mine, as assuredly as I was hers, and that if we were blessed with a millennium together, this is what she would be getting. I wanted her to choose an eternity with me because we belonged to each other, and not because she was scared, and I was determined to sway that decision.

I sat back on my heels, and pulled her up with me, chest to chest, lifting her hips and slamming her back down, driving myself into her. "Look at me," I demanded, and she moaned as she tried to comply, her eyes soft and unfocused. I grabbed the back of her neck, and forced her to look at me.

"I love you, Sookie," I said, as I stared into her eyes, and thrust into her. "I want you." Thrust. "Always." Thrust. "And you are mine." Thrust. I could see her begin to lose focus once more, and I tightened my grip. "Mine," I said, as I once again punctuated the statement with a deep thrust, and then I tore my wrist and placed it to her mouth. As soon as she started sucking, I leaned forward and savagely bit into her neck. I knew she would heal quickly with the intake of my blood, and I wanted to drink deeply. The circuit we created was electric, and as we hit our peaks, we both let go and cried out, our pleasuring mingling into one voice.

She was asleep almost immediately, her body exhausted and sated. I lay next to her, waiting for the day to claim me, and thought over the situation, as my fingers lazily traced the curves of her body. The next year would require great care on my part. I wanted to make sure this was what she wanted, but I wanted to make sure of the reasons. I wanted to encourage her decision, yet I would not unleash a monster. I had to know that she was still herself, and still overcome the hesitation that her usual self would have with being turned. We would also have to proceed carefully with regards to her abilities. If other vampires learned what a threat she was to our kind, they might kill her. Or they would try to turn her, and use their position as her maker to control her, and harness her abilities for their own uses. As the day began to pull me under, I threw my arm over her, pulling her back close to my chest . . . spooning, she called it. I buried my face in her hair, inhaling her scent, and swore to myself that we would live this next year fully, in case it was our last, because I held no illusions that if I denied her, she would leave me. The thought was unbearable, and as I succumbed to the daylight, I whispered, "mine."

_A/N: I hope you all enjoyed that. This was the last full chapter of CTL. The only thing left is the epilogue. I thank all of you for reading Chasing The Light, and for the love and support you've shown me and the story. Thank you. Thank you. Thank you.  
_


	34. Epilogue

Epilogue

I stood looking at the water, as I waited for Eric. We were headed to the airport, but Eric wanted to stop on the way to buy something for Pam. I felt him come up behind me, and then he wrapped his arms around me, and nuzzled my neck.

"Are you ready to go home, lover?"

Home. The word no longer held the same meaning for me. Eric and I hadn't even discussed where we would be staying, but I knew it would be together. Well, we would fight about it on the plane, but in the end, it didn't really matter. Home was wherever Eric was. I finally understood that.

There were a lot of decisions to make about the other aspects of my life, and what I wanted to do with it. I couldn't see myself going back to work at Merlotte's, but I wanted to do something—I wouldn't be a kept woman. I had to deal with my family, human and fairy alike. I also had to continue to hone my abilities, until I could use them as subtly as Craig had at the end.

Finally, however, I had to make sure Eric understood that I really did want him to turn me. I had one year, and I was going to make the most of it. It was meant to be after all. It was inevitable. It had to be done. Now I just needed to convince him.

One year. I only hoped I would survive it.

_A/N: This is it. My last A/N for CTL. It is a bittersweet thing to be writing. It is short, I know, but meant to be a companion and mirror to the prologue. Also, I wanted to take this opportunity to let you all know that I will most likely be writing a sequel to this story. I hope you understand, however, if I take a little break from telling the story of this Eric and Sookie. I have a couple other stories that need to be finished, and other ideas to explore as well. Additionally, I will only write the sequel if I feel I can come up with a really good story to tell you guys. Otherwise, what's the point? I don't get paid for this, so I can afford to be artistic and petulant and unwilling to "sell out" for the sake of getting published. _

_Once again, my undying love and gratitude goes to Gallathea and Kristin, the best betas a girl could have. In addition to fixing all my mistakes, they kept the story honest and kept me focused on where things should go. They also held my hand whenever I felt uncertain or incapable, and let me tell you that was often. I would also like to thank Malanna, who unfortunately became too ill to work on the story, but without whom you would not be reading this. It was she who sent the first draft back telling me to do better. I hope I have._

_To my fellow writers and friends, both here and on the HBO Wiki Eric thread, thank you so much for all your support. Thank you for making me laugh when I was down, and for giving me confidence when my muse ran away._

_Finally, to each and every one of you who read this story, left a review, and/or put it on alert - I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your responses and support for the story have humbled me and make me want to do much, much better. I tried to reply to each review for the last chapter, which I could never have done while writing the story. I hope I didn't skip anyone, but I fear I may have, or may have sent double thanks to the same people. In any event, thank you, thank you, thank you._

_FDM_


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